by Lordsmythe
Have written a part 2 - it didn't pass editing first time - yet to find out why - have re-submitted.
I admit, I am hoping to get to the action, but I appreciate the attention to detail in building the foundation of the story. A good story needs substance, and you are doing a good job of establishing that. Looking forward to more. I hope Carlo is vicious!
Love it! I can't wait to see what happens in Ch 2. Please don't keep us waiting!
Work true to character dialog into your story and your story will come alive. Well written , but all prose is dull. And all too common.