by Finchley
Story was interesting. I've never read a story with the style of storyline you used. It is a refreshing viewpoint and I certainly liked it. Perhaps the characters could be a bit more developed, might make an even better read. Great job though!
Interesting is definitely the word that comes to mind with this little jewel! For, it contains so elements that I like, and some that don't suit my fancy, as much. Just keep it going, and we'll keep checking it out!
If I'd fainted the last thing I'd feel is horny, but fair play for including the word fanny in context..