All Comments on 'Law of the Heart Ch. 06'

You referred to the "four" stages that the wronged spouse would go through following the other spouse's infidelity. As I read your story the stages are:

1-Denial

2-Anger

3-Bargaining

4-Depression

5-Acceptance

By my calculator you have listed 5 stages. Why then have you stated 4 stages?

Particulary now that your story seems to be following the "stages" process.

bugger all with each tiny installment of this tooth pulling story...

Loose = not tight

Lose something = you lost it.

This story is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

At the top of the story you said that this was ending 1.

Did you really mean that this was the beginning of ending 1?

Because if this is ending 1, then allow me to inform you that it isn't an ending.

I for one am putting myself out of my misery. No, I'm not going to kill myself. But if I waste my time reading any more of this story I may consider suicide.

I'll talk! I'll talk!!!!

-she went out boating with his old enemies, a betrayal.

-she did betrayal in front of the whole reunion of all freinds and aquantances from school.

-she used drugs, marijuana - not a big deal, but goes to parent fitness.

-she removed rings, and forgot them - like she did marriage.

-she let Juan, her husbands old enemy, remove her bikini top and play with her breasts within sight of shore. there was no anger nor regret shown then, or when she came to shore.

-when she came on shore there was neither regret nor remorse, she was joyful and giggling as she came into the reunion. and there was no concern about her rings.

-when she danced the samba with Juan, the old enemy, she did it in front of the whole reunion. when she stripped off the dress on the dance floor with Juan to a swim suit, the same.

-everyone could see what was happening, hubby even heard her friends show concern about what was happening, it was so very in-your-face blatant.

-when she went to hot tubs with Juan and Hector to play, again in the open area where all could see her frolic with the old enemies.

-when she went into her room, she dragged Juan in. this was not a drunk being forced or pushed, she dragged him.

-it was not just about sex needs, or she would have been more discrete. this was about trying to hurt her husband!

-and all this was just the part he saw before he left early, i bet if he could get other reunion members to talk it would be worse.

summary: she did the adultery with her husband's old enemies in as blatant a manner as possible, so that the maximum number of reunion members, her husband's old school friends and fellow lawyers, would see the husband cuckolded and know about it. she wanted to destroy his reputation, his honor, and his heart in the most painful way possible; in a way that would be impossible to cover up and would give him the maximum humiliation.

and then she waited at home, w/o any sign of regret, while her husband was ill, just to see who would tell him, so she can see and enjoy his pain while he was sick.

the author may not have intended this, but this is what i see happened. or it is at least one possible view the husband might take.

Actually the Mendoza brothers were Jill's enemies. They stole her review idea.

Anyway, it looks like the husband is open to go through maximum pain and public humiliation to stay with his wife. He does not enjoy it, it seems, like standard wimps, but he does nothing to end it.

He does not seem to have any specific goal in his mind. He just wants her to confess (and lie about what he does not know) and say it was a mistake. She somehow did not know when to stop drinking and sniffing. She was overworked and depressed. Everybody was having fun, etc. of that bullshit.

However, she loves him and she only lied to him and betrayed him so she could keep him because what he did not know could not hurt him and she thought he did not know although everybody else did.

What kind of piece of $#!+ husband would buy that load of crap?

She was not a minor. He loved her beyond reason, and she should have known it. When she screws up with someone like that, justice has it that she must suffer astornomically for it. Why the hell should he take all the beating and she have no pain but fun? She has to pay. I would actually give her the slowest most painful death if she seemed to deserve it.

This could actually become a good story with a chapter with her confession and his explaining what made him think she had done both brothers,wonder about her phone conversation with her friend susan.you know the just magnificent part.

You say this is alternate ending one but it doesnt have a conclusion. It seems like more of the introduction than an actual endding to the story. If you were going to leave it open-ended (with him vacillating between forgiving because he loves her so much, and divorce), then why bother with multiple versions in the first place?

IT WILL TAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER JUST FINISH THIS ENDING.I LIKE WHERE YOU ARE GOING PLEASE FINISH IT

Does anyone have any doubts that she did both brothers in her hotel room? I'm pretty sure they weren't playing chess.

Dancing maybe--the horizontal Tango!

This confession should be a dandy. I'm betting on her lying her ass off.

I'm going to have to give up on this story. This chapter was meaningless. It didn't advance the plot or tell us anything new. It simply wandered around, pretty much without any direction.

Go on with your story!

Long set-ups are useful for a well developed story.

You said 'a story with several alternative endings'; I would prefer a story with several 'consecutive' endings and an 'open' final ending perhaps.

I enjoy myself translating your story into Italian, as I do with the ones I prefer.

Dear Gentle Readers,

Three clarifications from the author.

1. At one point I mistakenly refer to Jill and Jake's son as twins. That was a mistake I failed to correct. At one point in story development I considered having Jake and Jill having twins. Since they tend to run in families, you can see what that would have meant considering the Mendoza twins.. I changed my mind.

2. I erred when I said 4 stages of dying. there are five.. sorry, stupid mistake.

3. There will be one more installment for ending #1. Then I will submit the alternative endings. I'll try and do better and make them longer!

Thanks for the feedback!

Headhunter

given the start of chapter 5 and the implication that the wife was involved with the other twin...it seems that there is a gap in the story. Did pieces of the story get lost in submission?

You are the most fucked up author in Literotica and this wimp motherfucker should kill himself and put everybody out of their misery.

I think you write extremely well, but your insistance on portaying dumbo Jake as the stupidest ass on this site gets irritating. Dumbo has had innumerable opportunities to salvage his marriage and has continued to procrastinate by lurking in the background in Miami and then implying all kinds of things at home without ever asking a silmple straight forward question. His irritating habit of making an ambiguous statement and then saying that he is being "blunt" is especially irritating. I realize your story would have ended earlier if dumbo had just asked Jill if she fucked Juan or Hector, but how long can you drag it on without making him look like a total idiot? Please give him half a brain. 60 year old George

Good story but thgis is just another chapter it isn't an ending. An ending would have resolved the issue one way or the other not leave it hanging! Come on you're a much better author that this. Finish the story with your ending the way you wanted it to be. Then add the optional ones. Check out Needyou's "Revenge" to see how he did ity! But finish each one. GOD!!!!!!

Is the Susan in Chapter 6 the Sally in Chapters 1, 2, 3 & 4?

Sleeping with twins will not increase the odds of having twins for a woman. If the Cubans are her brothers, or father(s) then the odds of her having twins would increase. You are now saying there are now four (or five) stages of dying? If the husband ever thought he would try to reconcile, he should have stopped the twins from screwing her all night (was it really both, or just the one he actually saw?). Most husbands would allow her a night of fun knowing she had no place in their life by that point. Running nude with the big dogs is enough to piss off most husbands! The ending is just two chapters? Trying to cut back?

I have enjoyed this story so far and look forward to the further development of the plot. I'm sorry that some of the comments have been so negative. I posted a story once but decided the abuse was not worth the effort.

Despite my hatred of the short chapters, I look for the continuation of the story every day. You have captured and kept my attention.

he needs revenge ... he needs to have some strange pussy also ... maybe fuck susan ...and she will have nochoice either... i think he needs to fuck juans wife also ... and all this with his wife watching ..othgerwise he gets little jake... and she pays for the tests to check about diseases ... id also make her pay for a dna test... and her friend susan after he fucks her wifey will never see her again.. plus she is never to lesave the house with out a chasity belt on and he has the key

who could trust the bitch again ... ok finish this story right and get a 5 ...in the same vein its only a 3

A numberof the comments were correct, but some people are very critical of everyone but themselves. Story is great; hope not to be disappointed by the ending. Looking forward to her side. This wife is indeed a tramp. bgwlk

I would like to see the chapters expanded to at least 2 pages per section. They seem a little short now. And hopefully he has an open mind. He didn't actually see them having sex. He should be upset about her behavior, but he had the chance to stop everything before it got serious.

I'd like to suggest to all you wannabe critics out there to stop whining about the small mistakes in the story. I'm not having any trouble following it and neither should you.

If any of you have read any of his other stuff, (you can find it on ASSTR) I suspect this will be the mild ending.

If he follows through as he has in the past in alternate endings, I'm sure Jill and the Mindoza twins will be ripped a new asshole before this is through!! Than maybe most of you will get your head out of yours!!

This comment is meant to express my opinion of the story thus far. In other words, I’m speaking to all six chapters. I decided early on to wait until you had a considerable part of the story published and then read it in one sitting.

The tactic of posting the tale in such small increments I found annoying. There are no hard and fast rules for this, some authors use this technique while others post the entire story regardless of length. I prefer the latter; it puts the onus on the author to edit out the extraneous elements.

Personally, I think a story can be told well in no more than four or five links of one posting, but that is just my opinion.

As for your story, you had me hooked right up until chapter 4. The buildup to the discovery was very well done. I found my stomach getting queasy with anticipation. Then in chapter four, the story took a slide. The opening lines of chapter 4 could sum up the last three chapters:

“Why didn’t I go cut in…dance the sexy dance with my wife? Why did stay in the shadows?”

You had my sympathy for the husband right up until you had him behave like bad caricature of an attorney. The cat and mouse game he played with his wife was a complete turnoff. Why not come out and tell her what he knew? Why the dance with the rings? Why the lying to the in laws?

By the last line of chapter 6, my attachment to the main character was gone. Where the story would go from that point was of no concern to me. You lost my interest. What a shame. It began so well.

HH has done an excellent job in telling this story and where it goes only he knows. Yes, there have been some mistakes, but listen people if you want professionalism go to a book story. PAY for it.

By far I feel he has done an excellent job and so he capsolated it. I'm hooked, I look for the concluding chapters. If the marriage survives or is destroyed that will be HH's story. For one I am waiting to hear Jill's version and WHY. Was it the excitement, was it the fact she wanted revenge for not having the life the Mendoza's have. Was it her intent to humiliate her husband or was she talked into it by Sally ( Friend). How long did she plan this indescretion, or did it just happen. OR is this something that started in Law school. As far as the main character, what is so wrong in taking your time and giving her the room to figure out for herself if she truly loved her family and is will this one weekend destroy a marriage and a relationship.

Good Job HH, tell it your own way.

I have really enjoyed it so far. The chapters could have been a little longer. But I know you have wrote this way to keep us on edge. So please continue with the story

this story has been very interesting so far. I can't wait to see the alternate endings that you give to it. I also appreciate your opening up the story to other authors for their take on the situation.

Firstly I have enjoyed your other submissions and Law of the Heart thus far, but gave it a four due to the bar you've raised so high for yourself......it will be miraculous for you to get PLAUSIBLE and CREDIBLE endings for the circumstances here!

You took a painfully long time to demonstrate his devotion to her, even excruciating in the detail. Literally the most devoted husband and father possible, making the hurt and betrayal that much more magnified, lets face it if there were any chinks in this marriage it would have made the excuses that much more easy. So then the unthinkable happens and his total torture has been there for all of us to feel....well done! Excellent portrayals that get us into his psyche, bravo!

Any number of us are tired of the fairy tale endings.....clearly reconciliation and forgiveness are not options you've left yourself. Suicide, revenge and barbarism seem more likely, but somehow I suspect you have a twist in mind.

Like she didn't really fuck the twins? Or he wakes up in bed the morning he is supposed to have left to join her to find it all only a nightmare? Not likely.....you've throw down the guantlet...burnt too many bridges behind you..now lets see you battle out of it......

CAN'T WAIT!!

was enjoying my daily fix. thought i had died and gone to heaven. until after four days, still no chapter seven.

The chapter begins in the third person. Jake is named and he has feelings, etc.

Then it suddenly turns to "I" and so it goes. Does Jake call himself both, Jake and I, when he speaks, much like Bob Dole did when he ran for president?

HH: I'm really enjoying your story so far. If the twins are sharing the fame and glory of Jill's idea of the law review with Jill then the rest of the events could be explained away. This story is addictive; I've nearly worn out my "history" button hoping to find Chapter 7.

I HOPE THE "CONFESSION" OF JILL DEVELOPES HER CHARACTER AS MUCH AS YOU SHOWED US "JAKES". YOUR CHAPTERS ARE TOO SHORT. PERHAPS COMBINING TWO INTO ONE WHOULD HELP. ALSO I HAVE BECOME ADDICTED AND FIVE DAYS (CURRENT WAIT) BETWEEN CHAPTERS IS TWO LONG.

WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE A FEW IN HAND BEFORE YOU START.

A very good story,well written, I loved it! BUT!(there's always a But!)But I was so fustrated by the ending, it's like a great novel what someone tore out the last remaining pages. His wife DID look in the wedding album, (and found her rings) proving there still was some love left in their marriage. Maybe you should fetch her side of things into the story?

Anyway PLEASE, PLEASE give us an ending to this fantastic story!

Regards 'A'

This has the potential of being a very good story. The plot of the story is sound. What's wrong is the way it is presented. You loose the continuity of the story because of the amount of information you are given and the small doses that are given each time. The bottom line is I would not go out and by this story to read. Being a new reader to literotica and given one of the purposes of this whole exercise is to encourage donations to perpetuate this forum. I think the author has really missed the boat. I would like to see some standards established by literotica which would insist the author finish the story so that it can be presented in a timely manner. Then I for one would give serious consideration to donating to this site.

A GOOD STORY BUT IT NEEDS A BLOODY CONCLUSION!!!!

You are an excellent writer and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.

I trust that an appropriate ending will be forthcoming.

Thanking you in advance.

Give a shit about the story though, the posts are getting

more interesting. Listen to us...he has successfully drawn

intense emotions from many of us, including me.

If you go back and read most of his work, it is done in

short "bursts" - - ok, whatever. Give the guy a break, this

crowd would bitch at Michelangelo for taking so long to paint the darned ceiling.

We are sooooooooo lucky to have HH and several others writing for OUR entertainment.

Unlike a number of other stories about cheating that focus (sometimes in ridiculous exaggerations) on the sexual exploits, this series focuses very convincingly and movingly on the pain felt by the betrayed husband.

I hope the author will continue--please don't leave the story where it is, tell us what happens next to this couple!

Only two obvious endings. 1. The Mendoza's did fuck her and he has no choice but to end the marriage OR 2. He didnt see the actual acts and Juan Mendoza went to her room for another reason (she was sick, make a phone call, she wanted to show him something etc etc) he then must decide if baring, and fondling of breasts is enough to end it...he wont and they live happily ever after.

Even though I do kind of agree with the previous comments in mentioning that the chapters are a little short, I enjoyed the previous chapters very much so. I can't wait to see what happens next. Will there be another chapter soon?

I decided to wait until there were a few chapters up before I read this one. I like the story so far, the setup and the emotional anguish the husband is going through is very well written. I do agree with the one commenter who mentioned a possible gap in the story with the twins. Also the first ending you have is great up until they get in the elevator, the whole "trial" bit came off as silly and contrived. Not to mention that it's too obscure of an ending to be satisfying for the reader. Unless chpater 7 concludes this first ending, I certainly hope your forthcoming endings are much better and more conclusive.

I can't believe that you really intend to end it. This cries out for at least one or two more chapters. Please reconsider and continue this story.

Just as an aside; it's a pleasure to read a tale that treats infidelity as the devastating betrayal that it is. I cannot imagine a spouse accepting such an act, or condoning it or getting aroused by it.

You are a very able storyteller, I hope that I can read many more of your submissions on this site.

this ending needs 1 more chapter. Please continue

It appears to me that she hadn't missed her rings until Jake asked her where they were.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=171689

This story,like the retarded writer is about a sissyfied moron without any balls to confront his whore of a wife and divorce the cunt.What a waste of space.

it had a male, but not a man. both ending sucked. in both he gave in like a bitch with out a fight. he gave a whore his balls and then she threatens to move and he buckles under like a btich. Both endings are WACC with a little RAAC

This guy is really the biggest loser I have ever read about! Why is there so many wimpy men written about in these kind of stories? At first I thought it was because the authors may be women. Nope, they are all men! Hmmmmmmmm???

Also, the depostion thing is completely rediculous. I don't really know what you were going for there, but it really made you sound idiotic! Kind of nerdy actually!

because there are so many wimpy authors (like this sorry excuse for a human being) who wear silk panties to work. Headhuntertales, creep back into the sewer you crawled out of.

This story is 7 1/2 years old. Why in the world would someone leave a comment let alone an idiotic one, on a story as old as this one?

you just did? .. and me I guess..

On an old story? Because whining, complaining and bashing stories here on Literotica is the standard response! Why do you think we read them? To beat off? I've been reading for awhile and there isn't a story here that I'd even CONSIDER beating off to. But I do comment on the few stories that irritate me. It matters not that it's an old story or a new story. If you read the dates on the stories and the dates on the comments you'll see that it's true.

It may be an old story but I'm reading it for the first time and disliking the husband more and more with each passing chapter. Of course I will keep reading till the end anyway.

the emotional level of a 10 year old. Or perhaps that is what the author's opinion is of all public defenders. I gave this a 1 since a zero does not exist. If I were her I'd cheat on the asshole too. He ain't much of a man and he is even a worse person. sheesh!

No guts, no back bone.

no honest answers - or for that matter, questions.

not realistic. not honest with each other. not going anywhere.

not an entertaining or informing story.

Analyzed the theme and guess what? It's anal. Law of dishonesty present on both sides. Does this author really believe a husbands total reason for existence is the wife? Lawyers without law would have been a better title.

Congrats. Well done. Great imagination. Five out of five for the first time. Great dialogue. The rings are a great plot device. This whole chapter is very imaginative. It is funny how the BTB crowd doesn't like this story, but at least this chapter is about Jake getting his revenge on his straying wife. He is clever, laying a trap with his words and the rings in the wedding album and now the final development of putting her on trial. How boring it would be to just throw her in a shark tank or drive over her with a bulldozer.

Keep up the good work and I will check other stories you have written when this one is done. Your writing is as good as Ohio, Jezzazz and DanielQSteele which are my favourites. (Here's hoping the ending doesn't suck.) Cheers. Steve

Not worth reading. 1*

Loved it but can't find the 2nd ending

Amazing . . .

For the most part this was a wasted chapter. The one and only positive thing to come out in this chapter was his conversation with his friend Bill.

This idiot is a total sissy boy loser, wife is a total slut for two slease bags and hubby is pathetically apologising to her. This wife is the typical low life that will cheat every chance she gets since there is no way she would ever respect this wimp assed closet faggot.

This story is actually making me sick to my stomach! He's an attorney but his actions, attitude and the conversations with his wife are just plain juvenile and childish!

You must love to write about "girly men"!

I agree with him that he can't be responsible for "stopping" her.

They're both lawyers, client meetings, long hours, being out of touch, you have to rely on your partner to do the right thing.

"I can tell he thinks something happened... Pause 'Stop it.'" - The pause was obviously Susan saying that something DID happen! As he infers, the "Amazing" was the sex with Mendoza(s)!

I meant to say on an earlier chapter, how does he expect to get custody? She's the primary care-giver, they almost ALWAYS get custody.

Good dark take of the consequences of cheating. In the end, only you are ultimately responsible for your own actions.

This guy is a real piece of work. Either he should have jumped in while in Fla. if he thought wife really loved him and is maybe too drunk or drugged up, or he should just get rid of her.

GOOD GRAVY!!!!! This just keeps getting worse! Your character is a wimp-ass POS!!!

Legalese nonsense. Given the fact the ending is so wimpish this chapter does absolutely nothing than present unrealistic conversation. "Legal" talk from somebody who behaved like a wimp and turns into ultimate wimp character in the end is just not believable. Writer inputs his organized thinking into a character he is turning into a wimp. This makes no sense other than writer enjoying his own writing. The problem is that the reader will get irritation once the ending is reached.

1 star from me for garbage writing.

I like the way you're playing this out. The "legalize" is a plausible avenue for Jake to pursue. Given the emotional turmoil he's under, reverting to emotionless learned and practiced court behavior would allow his to keep the lid on.

but the wimpy had to be dragged out to extend the story

She cheated more remorse if he is to take her back

I wouldn't one brother deal breaker

Two toast

do so many LW authors write husbands as weak, cucky, faggots. She's a boil. You lance it.

Going nowhere really, his plan has so manny holes that it isn't worthy. This is not fixing or properly concluding anything, for all his angst and pain, for all his love and debotion he is showing a remarkable ignorance of her.

That many chapters for a lame story.

I personally think it was captivating and well written. I hate cheaters, but I didn't' hate Jill in this story, not quite sure why. But It ended with reconciliation, which is what I need.

Still a CUCK!!!

This idiot could've stopped it, and he knows it. Everyone needs a swift kick in the ass sometimes, and a REAL MAN wouldn't stand there and watch his wife throw away their marriage. Maybe later, which is what MC worried about, but not in front of me.

So, men are obliged to "save" their wives because they're helpless creatures that are so immature, insecure and mentally unable to keep their legs together and not fuck someone else besides their husband? Wow, pretty fucked up backward ideas about women in general. Typical mindfuckery to justify and excuse bad behavior and shitty choices that woman make.

I could forgive Jill, but I would have probably wanted a divorce..at least a separation. It's one thing to see some pictures or video from a PI, but to see yourself

Alright

Looks like we're gettin there. Time to confess.

How the he’ll is this an ending?

Desperate is his name. These kind of husband's make me sick.

In what way does this kind of husband make you sick? That he didn’t immediately file for divorce? That he didn’t burn the bitch and the Mendoza bros? That he wasn’t a controlling thug that dragged his wife off the dance floor while beating the crap out of Juan?

What makes me sick are cheating sluts like Jill.

Wimpy cuck

well that was interesting.

Anonymous about a year ago...

For me, he didn't at jest try to intervene when she was drunk and high. She was in the wont even before that to be honest but a real man and life mate would have stopped it at some point, gotten the full story and then decided what to do. Divorce, try to save the marriage.... whatever.

And... he doesn't have much consideration for his son. Not saying stay with her for him, but leaving and being incommunicado for an extended period.... nope. You stay strong for your kids. Leave... fine. Keto I'm contact with the kids. Visit. Talk on the phone. Otherwise they'll feel abandoned. Doing that doesn't give approval to what the wife did. It's about the child not her. Divorce her or don't talk to her except about the kids... but step up to your responsibilities.

Not many good characters in this story. Somehow, still reading it though.... go figure.

What a pathetic story. No substance, nothing whatsoever.

Oh I had to give this only 2 stars as I really didn’t like how you end these parts, I think you write great work, I sort of love hate this one, for me it’s just so short, and you leave it in such infuriatingly places.

I’m not sure I can go on. Jake is an idiot, a weak, game-playing asshole who acts impulsively, doesn’t think, can’t even talk to his wife about his concerns. A real lawyer looks for hard evidence. He has nada, just a bunch of suppositions. Why he has to play games instead of directly confront Jill is a mystery. It makes for bad, melodramatic story-telling, it defies human logic, and it is is beyond unrealistic.

SIMP!!!