Like Father Like son

Both of these actions were interpreted by Ben as desertion. Both his parents had deserted him and left him to fend for himself. He grew up believing that, never knowing the real story until he reached eighteen. By that time, the man he was to become had already been formed. The truth then was more academic than anything else.

Annabeth, Ben's wife, had cheated on him with another man. Ben had to come to grips with that somehow but his coping mechanisms were formed all those years ago in a house with very similar circumstances. But even though he now understood the reasons for his parent's actions, he subconsciously saw only the facts. His mother cheated, causing his father's death. His father's death caused his mother to kill herself. Now, his wife had cheated. His course of action was suggesting itself even now.

That's why I told Beth that she had best stay away from Ben now. His actions were going to be difficult to predict given his history. Beth obviously wasn't aware of that part of his past and she didn't understand the irony of what she did. Infidelity was bad enough but to a man with Ben's past, it could be deadly It was very likely that someone was going to be hurt.

I looked at the clock, surprised to find that we had talked away the morning and part of the afternoon. I finally got up telling Ben that we should get some dinner and then talk some more. When he told me that I had heard all of his story, I just laughed and said that we had so much more to talk about now that I knew his background. It caused him to tense up a little but I assured him that we would not be doing any really deep stuff and that he was only a little crazy. That got a laugh so I let it slide for now. I thought that we could go back to the bar where we met yesterday for some dinner and a few beers. Ben was certainly more relaxed now and I wanted to keep him that way.

Ben Chase

Telling Bill my story had really wiped me out. I was as tired as if I had spent the day working in the mill like my daddy. My back was sore, my legs ached and I felt as though I could sleep for a month. Part of that was tension, part fatigue and part emotion. I didn't know which was which, I was just beat. When Bill suggested that we had more to talk about, I guess I didn't want to hear that but then he broke the tension with his crazy comment and then suggested we go out to eat. I could eat and I wanted a beer in the worst way. So off we went.

At the bar, things seemed about the same. It was later now than it had been when I first met Bill and there were many more people around. Seems Bill knew a lot of them since there were greetings flying all over the place. He seemed to be very popular: a regular. I watched him interact with several and found him to be smooth and easy going. That was my impression of him too, so I guess he was just what he seemed. We moved to a table and Bill ordered burgers and onion rings for both of us with a cold beer. I relaxed back and looked around. I watched several nice looking women move in on some of the guys and concluded that they were pros. When I mentioned it to Bill, he just nodded affirmatively and let it go. Fine with me.

While I was downing the burger, I saw a well dressed woman about my age come in to the bar, look around and then move onto a stool. She was quite good looking and very polished. She looked different than most of the pros and I watched as several guys made a move on her all of which she rebuffed. Interested, I began to watch to see what she was doing. I noticed a man at the other end of the bar looking in her direction but otherwise making no move. Now I was fascinated and continued to watch. My curiosity was rewarded when she nodded her head slightly in his direction, slid off the stool and went toward the restrooms. The man at the bar followed. I told Bill that I wanted to use the restrooms and followed them.

I hung back, watched as they came together in the hall, not noticing me pressed back against the wall in the shadows. They whispered and then she reached out her hand and pressed it lightly against his cheek. That's when I noticed the wedding ring. She moved away and walked back to the bar. He did the same except that he put some money on the bar and went out the door rather than return to his seat. Within a minute, the woman left as well.

I knew that I has just witnessed a clandestine meeting and the woman was probably married and wanted to meet her lover. They had come here separately and then left to be together. I knew that somewhere, some man was being cuckolded, just like me. All of a sudden, the pain and grief that I felt that night at home came crashing back. Along with the pain came a feeling of rage, rage so intense at the stupid bitch and her lover. What in the hell were they doing? Someone should teach them both a lesson. I gasped, struggling to breathe and I felt the blood drain from my head. I was almost in danger of passing out when I rose from my seat to almost run from the bar into the cool night air.

I crashed out the door, looked around for them but they were gone. Suddenly the rage just evaporated and I staggered to one side and bent over, trying to catch my breath. The hamburger I had just enjoyed came back up in an explosive purging. I heaved everything I had and continued to heave, cramps clutching at my gut till I cried out in pain. I was sweating and fighting for control when I felt Bill's hand on my shoulder.

"Don't fight it, Ben. Let it control you first. Let it run it's course. You have no choice but to allow it free rein. It will pass. Just let it go. Don't fight it. Just breathe, easy breaths, easy breaths."

His words didn't mean much but his soothing voice helped. The rage which had threatened to overcome me had disappeared. I forgot the pain and the discomfort and concentrated on his voice. Don't fight. Let go. Over and over until I could finally hear the words and begin to follow his advice. I was shivering uncontrollably but the cramps began to loosen, blood began to flow into my brain again and I was able to straighten up and lean against the cool bricks of the outside wall of the bar. Things began to register and I felt the coils of tension loosen and finally break free. I took several deep breaths, bringing oxygen back to my starving lungs. The shivers passed and I saw Bill standing there with a worried look on his face. I tried to smile at him.

"I'll be OK now. It's passing and I feel much better. Sorry I scared you."

"Can you tell me what happened? Do you know what set this off? It's important to tell me what happened. Can you do that?"

I shook my head yes and took a couple of deep breaths, feeling the bands around my chest slip away and my breathing become normal again.

"I was watching a woman at the bar. She was my age, quite pretty and well dressed. She wasn't a pro because she rebuffed several of the guys who tried to pick her up. I noticed a man at the other end of the bar and I saw them looking at each other. I followed them when they went toward the restrooms and I saw them kiss and exchange words. Then he left the bar and she followed within a few minutes. I knew then that they were meeting and that she was cheating on her husband. That's all I remember, till now."

Bill was shaking his head in apparent understanding. He must have known who she was since he never bothered to say anything when he saw me looking at her. He seemed to be satisfied about what I told him but for the life of me I didn't know why. But, he decided it was time for us to head back to his place and that's what we did.

Bill Austin

Once Ben told me what he had experienced and what brought it on, I knew that my original opinion was correct. Ben was very close to moving in the direction his subconscious was pulling him and violence was not that far away. I saw the fury in his eyes just before he got up to run out the door. Had he found them I was sure that he would have done violence. I was sure that he also felt the misery that had driven him to me and I knew he had to fight to stay sane but his coping tools were sadly incapable of handling this. I had to do something.

Ben was able to calm down on the walk back to my place. He had suffered two major shocks to his system in less than 72 hours and it was beginning to have an effect on him. I knew that without my help, he was moving more and more toward taking some drastic action. I was afraid that given his past, harm to himself was high on his list, even if he didn't see it for himself. I could see it building. Something had to be done.

Annabeth Chase

I was still waiting for a call back from the man that called yesterday. He said Ben was with him and that it wasn't smart for me to talk with him just yet. I didn't agree but since I didn't know who he was or where he and Ben were, I had no choice. I didn't know what else to do but wait. I had called the Manna House and told them I couldn't help them any more. George had called me three or four times now and I asked him each time not to call me again. This last time, I finally told him that Ben had seen us that time and George was shocked. He wanted to know what Ben said and I told him that Ben had left me and hadn't called me at all since. George was very sad to hear that, but then he asked me if I wanted to get together again. I told him that my marriage was the only thing on my mind right now and that was all I was concerned with. He promised to keep in touch but I just hung up without replying.

I had spent the last day wondering what the man meant when he asked me about Ben's parents. What in the world did that have to do with anything? I couldn't remember Ben saying anything other than they were killed in an accident. What kind of accident, I didn't know and Ben never said. Maybe it was important. I thought about it and then decided to take a chance and call Pearl, Ben's grandmother. I could ask her if she had any more information. That decided, I found her number and used my cell to call her. I wanted to keep the phone open in case the man called again.

I reached Pearl at her home and talked with her for a few minutes. It was hard since we didn't have much in common and she and I had never formed a bond. Ben was her only concern and she didn't have much left for others, including me. But, she was civil and I finally asked her about Ben's parents. Her response was weird. She fist asked me where Ben was. When I told her he was out of town on a job, she asked several questions, indicating she didn't believe me. She then asked me what he had told me and I said that he indicated they died in an accident. She was quiet at that but finally asked me if I had some time to come over to her place for a talk. I quickly agreed, intrigued now with her attitude.

When I arrived about an hour later, she was waiting for me. She asked me to sit in the little family room of her home and brought in a plate of cookies and a pot of tea. We sat and she poured, just like a little old lady of money. I knew that she came from a poor family so I assumed that there were affects that she had learned to try to rise above her early life. She seemed comfortable with it so I accepted her offer of tea.

"Now then, why the sudden interest in our Ben's family? Has something happened to make you curious?"

"No, not really. Someone asked me about it the other day and I realized I knew very little. Ben never seemed comfortable talking about it so I decided to ask you. I don't think he would mind."

"I'm sure he would mind, but that's not important. What happened is important and the reason for you asking might be very important. Did you do something that made Ben leave home?"

How in the hell did she know? Was it a lucky guess? I decided to continue with my bluff and see.

"Nothing happened. Ben is on a job like I said. I just wanted to know what really happened."

"I don't believe you girl. I don't know you well at all but I can tell when someone's lying. What'd you do to make him run?"

Shit! I had to tell her something so I decided on the truth. Maybe she would be shocked enough to tell me what really happened. So, I told her and she listened grimly when I got to the part about Ben seeing us together. That's when I knew there was trouble. Pearl just glared at me when I was finished and then she shook her head.

"OK, here's what happened. And you had best listen carefully cause you've opened a big can of worms. Here goes. Ben's mom and dad both killed themselves. His dad first when he was 8 and his mom a year later. That's why I raised him from nine years old on. He never knew what happened until later when he turned eighteen. By then he was already formed and it didn't make no mind."

"I don't understand. What does that have to do with me and what Ben saw?"

"Pauline, Ben's mother, my daughter, cheated on his father, Howard. Pauline told Howard about it and it broke his heart. He tried to deal with it but he couldn't. He waited about two months and then put a shotgun to his mouth and pulled the trigger. Pauline found him that way, coming home from her work. Seems he left her a note, but she told me the note was very bad and she tore it up rather than keep it. But it was already too late. Pauline tried to keep it together and raise Ben but she couldn't get over what she had done to Howard. She wrote Ben a letter, explaining it all and then killed herself by slitting her own wrists. She bled to death in her bed, laying there plain as day for her son to find."

"My God. That's insane. How could they do that to a little boy, leaving him alone like that? What was the matter with them?"

I was appalled at the cruelty of what they did until I suddenly realized the implications! Ben had witnessed me doing the same thing his mother had! I had cheated on him, just as his mother cheated on his father! I looked at Pearl, understanding now what she was trying to tell me.

"Oh, my God. What have I done?"

"More than you know girl. Ben grew up believing his parents had left him behind intentionally. He was angry with them and he never forgave either of them. Once he read the letter, he could understand what they did, but it was too late and he didn't accept it. They left him. That's all he knew and it started with his mother's betrayal of his father. Now do you see?"

I saw and I understood. I knew now what the man meant when he asked me those questions and told me to stay away right now. He knew! Ben must have told him. He must have thought that I cheated knowing the history. He must have thought me cruel and stupid! But, really wasn't I?"

Ben Chase

Bill wanted to talk some more that evening but I didn't. I was feeling a little funny now and maybe that was because everything was finally beginning to sink in. I was no longer angry at Beth. She wasn't worth my anger. She was just a cheating spouse, and they were all too common. Just common whores, just like my mother. And just like my mother, Beth had destroyed our marriage. Well, I would deal with her, but not like my father. He took the easy way out. I wouldn't. Beth would pay.

Bill Austin

Ben was far too calm and quiet for my taste. I wanted to talk but he seemed to be too withdrawn and refused to be drawn into a conversation. It worried me a lot, but I couldn't force him. Maybe by tomorrow, he would be in a better frame of mind. I'd wait and see. When Ben bid me goodnight, I relaxed a little. A good night's sleep would be good for him and we could go into some things tomorrow.

Ben Chase

I got up early while it was still dark. Bill was asleep as I collected my things and carried them out to my car. I had decided last night to end this farce. I had to go back to Chester to set things right and make sure Beth paid. It was the right thing to do. When I made the decision, it just felt right and my stomach relaxed and I felt calm. I was quiet since I didn't want to try to explain to Bill what I was going to do. I did write him a note, giving him my address in Chester so that he could send me a bill for all I owed him. I decided that was only fair since he had gone to so much trouble for me.

I left that morning at just before 6:00 a.m. and it felt good to be heading home. I pulled onto the interstate and set the cruise control and tried to make my plans. It had to be done right away. She couldn't be allowed too much time to try to make it more difficult. I wanted to have it done. I smiled as I anticipated the pain she would feel when I delivered the killing blow. Maybe she could begin to experience some of what I was feeling. I doubted it since she apparently didn't have any feelings for me. If she had, she could never have done that to me. Well, she wouldn't be able to do it much longer. I would see to that.

I drove straight through, taking just under two days to return home. I used my cell to call work and tell them that I was taking two weeks emergency leave to attend to personal matters. I left all the necessary instructions to make sure my people could carry on with the project. Once that was taken care of, I called a few other people that I needed to complete my plans. I would deal with them in person once I got back in town. The last thing I did was make a reservation at the Holiday Inn Express just off the interstate and just seven miles from my house. I wasn't going to let Beth know I was back in town. I wanted to make sure she stayed home where I could find her when it was time. Time for her to pay the final price for her treachery. Dad made a mistake, but I wouldn't! He had hurt himself over her betrayal instead of her, but not me! No sir, she was the one that had to pay!

Bill Austin

When I found the note and Ben gone, I knew I had to call Mrs. Chase and let her know that she might be in danger. I had the distinct impression that Ben had not intended to hurt himself. I feared rather for her. I feared he was going to try to harm his wife. I had to get word to her right away. It would take him some time to get home and she could use the time to get away and go somewhere he couldn't harm her.

I got the number from my office and called her again. She answered on the first ring.

"Hello? Is this you Ben?"

"Hello Mrs. Chase, it's Bill Austin, the one that called you two days ago. Do you remember?"

"Yes, of course. How is Ben? Is he there and can I talk to him? I understand now what you were trying to ask me the last time and I didn't know then, but I do now. Please, let me talk to him. It's important that I tell him what I must. Please?"

"Mrs. Chase, listen to me. Ben isn't here now. He's on his way back to Chester and I'm worried. He let me a note telling me that he's going to fix things right this time. He's referring to his father. I think he may be planning on harming you instead of himself as his father did. I believe he thinks his father was wrong in taking his own life. He feels that he should have done something to his mother instead. Do you understand me?"

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. I hoped that I had gotten through to her that she was in real danger. She had to believe that so she could take appropriate actions to protect herself.

"Ben wouldn't hurt me, Mr. Austin. I believe that with all my heart. I know Ben and he isn't a violent person. He'll come home and let me explain. He is one of the most gentle and understanding men I have ever known. I believe in him and I'll wait for him. But thank you for letting me know."

"Please Mrs. Chase. Don't be foolish. Ben is in shock now and he is not predictable. I believe you are in danger. Please be careful."

"Thank you again Mr. Austin. I'll be fine and thank you for caring for Ben during this time. Goodbye."

I tried to convince her to change her mind but she had hung up. She didn't believe she was in danger but I did. I couldn't call the police because I had no proof other than my gut feelings. I would wait a couple of days and call back. I would hope for the best till then.