Liza's New Life Ch. 06

"I jumped into his arms, we rolled on the floor, and he climbed on top of me, discarding his clothes here and there. His chest pushed against my supersensitive nipples and made my pussy squirt. Yes, squirt! When his dick touched my clit I thought I would hit the moon. It was as if every other time I had made love it was under a thick layer of armor. For the first time I was laid bare, ready to feel my lover.

"That's when you and your pursuers came in...," her voice trailed off. She sighed.

I could not have been more dumfounded. I just stared at her with unblinking eyes. I had never in my life heard one person speak so earnestly, so eloquently, so openly, so honestly. I found myself jealous of her joy, wishing I could feel the things that she felt. And then it dawned on me: she was what I've been fighting. She had become the Liza that Marc had been trying to create in me. She had put aside her inhibitions and just 'let go.' Her receptiveness allowed my selfish act of vengeance to bring her a new awareness, just as Marc's self-indulgent game is intended to enrich my life. I just need to 'let go' and accept. She didn't blame me for hurting her, she blessed me. She was able to accept and revel in whatever life has to offer, without affixing blame or bemoaning injustices, without the endless self-doubt and recrimination that colors my ability to feel, really feel, the depths of my sexuality. She had shed the odious onion layers between her and life, and I wanted to, too. I undid the knot that kept the towel over my nakedness. Right there on the balcony, hoping that Ms Thomas could see me from the top of the Eiffel Tower, my onion layers were shed from my body. I was naked and I wanted to experience every possible humiliation because of it. I wanted to feel, really feel. I was ready to embrace whatever the Marc effect would bring.

"Liza, you'll be my maid of honor, right?"

"Yes, of course," I smiled.

"We'll always be best friends, right?"

"Yes, of course," I smiled again as all the times I've wanted to ring her neck flashed in my mind.

Ally finished her sandwich quickly and rushed off to the office. She didn't want to be late for her new boss, she explained half jokingly and half terrified as she went out the door.

I looked around my apartment and listened. The silence of being alone greeted me like a long, lost friend. I plunged into our over-stuffed easy chair and threw my left leg up over the arm, just making myself comfortable. I was mindful of how my pussy lips separated slightly to let a wave of cool air penetrate me. I was glad to be naked. I smiled to myself at the thought that I was often too busy being embarrassed about it to just relax and enjoy it. Well, Ally's little pep talk had its effect, and all my doubts about the naked game I promised to play for my husband were put aside. Like the subtitle to the movie "Dr. Strangelove," I decided to just relax and learn to love the bomb.

"Hello," I answered absentmindedly, still lost in the comfort of my easy chair, when the phone rang.

"Hi, Liza." Marc's voice broke the spell.

"Hi, sweetheart," I crooned. "Is the Baker account all settled already? Are you on your way home?" I teased, knowing that couldn't possibly be the case.

"No, we're just on a potty break. I wanted to talk to you about the conversation I just had with Steve..."

"Did he ask you to be his best man?" I interrupted.

"No, that's...well, yes..., but that's not why I called. Liza," he began again in a slower, more deliberate voice, "you know I keep pretty close tabs on...things."

"If by things, you mean me, then, yes, I know 'the night has a thousand eyes,' to quote a popular song."

"Well, it's interesting that that particular song came to mind," he said dryly. "Tell me what happened in the shower, Liza."

I didn't say anything for a moment. I tried desperately to gather my thoughts.

"Liza, Steve described something that, if I had read it in 'Penthouse Forum,' I would have written a letter to the editor complaining that they were obviously making stuff up! Liza, are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here," I said in my softest tone. "When are you coming home? I've been wanting to talk about it, too."

"It might be days before I get out of New York, and I need to know now, Liza. What happened?"

"Marc, you obviously know what happened. What I need is to be able to talk to you about Why it happened."

"Then tell me!" His impatient tone lost nothing in the transcontinental transmission.

"Marc," I began slowly and deliberately, trying to collect my thoughts as I went. "I'm not the same person you kissed good-bye yesterday morning."

"What?" is all he could muster.

"I warned you that there could be consequences, unforeseen consequences, to this game we're playing."

"What do you mean?"

"I first noticed the change yesterday evening. Marc, you probably heard what happened to Gina, how she was punished so...so severely."

"Yes, I got a blow by blow account."

I dismissed his attempt at humor and continued my thought.

"Well, it occurred to me that I actually enjoyed watching it. Marc," I raised my voice, "that's not me! That's not right!"

"But she had hurt You, Liza. That's all. Anybody would feel the same way."

"Maybe, but not the woman you knew," I said softly.

"But what does that have to do with fucking Steve?" He shouted in anger in a way I'd never heard.

"This morning I put a clamp on Ally's clit. Did you hear about that?" I ignored his outburst.

"Yes, Steve said it was the most exciting thing he ever saw."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way, Marc. I did it, without her consent, because I actually wanted to hurt her. My intention was to punish her."

"Why?" he said slowly.

"Well, that doesn't matter. It just matters that the person you knew would never have wanted to do something like that."

"Are you coming to the part about Steve soon?"

"Well, I got to thinking about this change in me," I began again. "I began to blame you for this monster I'd become, because of the promises you've made me keep, and the situations I find myself in because of them. The more I thought about it the more I blamed you and the angrier I became. Finally, in the shower with Ally and Steve, I just snapped. Marc, what I did to Steve had nothing to do with making love, or even sex, for that matter. It was a raw, inexcusable act of violence. I raped him, Marc, just as surely as anybody has ever been raped, and I can state unequivocally, for the record, if there was ever any doubt in anybody's mind, that rape is nothing but violence. It was blind rage that drove me."

"My, god," I heard him whisper into the phone, then there was silence for awhile. "You must really hate me, then?"

"No, Marc. I love you as a matter of fact." I started to cry, but through my tears, I continued, "It was Ally, and Dort, too, who made me realize that I shouldn't abandon my promises, that what I go through for you may be your fault, I don't know, maybe that's not the right word, but it's my challenge, because I love you. I guess I've come to realize that whatever you cause to happen, good or bad, I own the consequences."

"I love you, Liza. I've never loved you more than I love you right now."

"Come home soon, please."

"As soon as I can, I promise."

"I need you, Marc."

"I'm always involved in everything, even when I'm not there."

"Yes, I know."

"Oh, Liza? Before I go, there's just one more thing."

"Yes," I brought out hesitantly despite the bold statements that still hung in the air.

"What are you wearing?"

"Nothing, Marc. Nothing at all."