by 2CHaNces
I just found this story, and I loved it. Yeah, there was the name mix-up and a few places where you used to wrong word ("loosing" instead of "losing", "trust" instead of "thrust", etc.), but other than that I thought it was both well-written and really hot. I'm a hopeless romantic, so the while build-up and then seeing them finally get together was perfect. I'm torn between wanting to read more of their story and hoiping you left it there, which would stand just fine on its own. I'll have to look it up and find out.
I can't see how no one else noticed the name error, as anonymous mentioned. However, I truly liked this story and, despite the error, gave it a high vote. Keep up the good work.
I don't agree with the anon, you don't need to break up the changes in POVs with ***** or whatever; this fiction was perfectly understandable, at least to a frequent bookworm such as myself. I prefer when writers don't use the style where they have to have those every other paragraph; it can get quite annoying in some people's fictions.
And I did get the differences between Danny and Jason; Danny is Logan's friend and Jason was her "date," it was just that you mixed them up by saying Danny had gone on the date when obviously you had meant Jason. It's not that big of a deal, a simple name change will suffice.
Now to the story, I love the plot. Best friends loving one another and finally getting together is one of the sweetest, romantic things to me. The sex is a bonus, and theirs was hot. I hope you do continue this because I'm certainly interested in seeing their journey. Thanks for writing and sharing :)
I don't know what story "anon" is reading. Who the hell is Danny? LOL. We got Zoe, Logan and random dude Jason here, that's all. It's late tho, maybe Anon is sleepy,
Anywayz, ur story is hot and you should keep writing, well done.
You seem to skip from using Jason to Danny in a span of a paragraph.
And since you don't break up the change of scenes.... from what's happening with Zoe, to what's happening with Logan, it gets pretty confusing.
Just a simple '****' or denotation between the change of perspective would make things easier on your readers.
LOVE THE STORY! i like how you threw in Zoe's True Blood obsession. True Blood addicts such as myself totally understand. TEAM ERIC! Cant wait for season 3 and to see where you take this story.
It's losing it, not loosing it. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. Besides that this was a fucking sexy story though :)
That was a hot story. I hope you continue with this series. Great beginning!
you know you have to continue this right, and while your at it, mail Logan's twin to me post haste!
Damnnn so hot, loved the build up the whole uncertainty of whether they would get together. Well crafted, keep up the good work!
Great Start. you should definitely keep it going! You should also consider finishing your first story "Greece" I liked that one too plus I'm interested in where u were thinking of taking that story...this one too! I love it! Keep it up!