by jerseyblue
I think the story has a lot of potential, but agree the chapters are too short - it is over before the reader can really get a sense of what is going on. I also would reccomend getting someone to look over the story before you post -- there were several errors that make for a choppy read. That being said, I look forward to the next chapter! Thanks for sharing!
Enjoy reading this but would be nice to have longer chapters to story can develop.
Its well done though. Thanks.