All Comments on 'Magic Fingers Ch. 10'

Story is great, but the the grammatical errors, typos and format errors really take away from the enjoyment of reading it. And it can really get confusing when the spelling is wrong and the word has a totally different meaning. For example, it should be hostile, not hostel.

Thought phrases should have a single quote mark, i.e. 'Did she really just say that?' I thought to myself.

Also, when the same character is speaking, there should not be paragraph breaks.

Please write more, but please, please have it edited before you submit.