All Comments on 'Maid, Princess, Slave Ch. 01'

Just a piece of shit

There were enough simple writing flaws to make the work questionable, just in getting to the point at which you just HAD to break out of past tense and into present tense. And if that weren't bad enough, the typos and other writing errors from that point just snowballed. It seemed as if you must have finished in a rush and never even considered so much as a self-edit. It's rather a shame, because the underlying concept looked like a decent story.

-- KK in Texas

that your first comment was from one of those who read maledom/femsub fiction to harsh on it. Men are the masters, and some who are not men, for one reason or another, will never learn that.

As for the story's content, I have printed it out and will read it later. Comments on the work will be forthcoming thereafter.

I wish you well.

... are the ones which make you a better writer. And I _wholly_ approve of the storyline and the direction in which it's headed. And I've got to love your nom de plume!

I'm looking forward to more episodes. Take good care and blessed be!

don;t take notice of negative comments, just keep writing! If you enjoy the writing keep it up. Liked your story and with practice you can do better, thats all it takes just practise and hard work. Liked you're gentle style! storywritter07

feedback you're doing something right. Your work isn't bad. When I started writing, I did one thing almost constantly. Read other people's work, the ones closer to the top of the favorite stories section. Learn from what other's have done and if you find it necessary, look for an editor. I've been doing this now for a couple of years and it's kept me sane. Just keep writing even if it's only for yourself and a few others.

First off, learn to spell. Secondly, learn some grammar. Thirdly, learn to WRITE. Quite aside from the huge number of typos and errors, there's no pacing and it's all rushed. You keep flipping tenses and perspectives, and there's very little sense of why everyone around her hates her so, or why the adviser, guards and palace staff want her gone so badly as to ensure their death by torture ... because SOMEone will talk and they all saw her dragged away. Even as pure mindless stroke fodder this sucks. Go back, learn to write, and then we'll see.

Your short story was really good. Inventive and interesting. And most of all it seemed to have a series of unfortunate events that make the realism almost palpable.