"Mediterranean" Goddess

Overall, I was proud of the way my students had performed on the exam. I couldn't help but notice that Mandy had one of the top scores in the class. Good for her I thought. Maybe she won't feel the need to visit my office.

It didn't take long to realize how wrong I was. I was working on the computer at my desk when I heard my office door close. Mandy was leaning against the door. Again she was wearing a conservative dress blouse and a matching modest skirt. However, since class time, she had unbuttoned 2-3 buttons on her blouse so that it was unbuttoned to the first button under her breasts. Although unbuttoned, the material was still closed so that really nothing was revealed, but the effect was utterly provocative.

"Oh, Carl, I aced your test. I'm so happy." Her enthusiasm fill the room.

"Yes. I noticed. I'm happy for you too, Mandy." I was puzzled as to why Mandy was in my office, and I'm sure my confusion was evident in my voice.

"I want to thank you for helping me. It made all the difference in the world." Was this the only reason she was here?

"Well, I'm glad I could help." I was feeling uncomfortable and never liked being alone in my office with any student so I asked. "Could you open my door, please?"

"I'd rather not, Carl." Mandy's bubbly enthusiasm was replaced by a confident look and huskiness to her voice.

Getting up, I tried to sound emphatic. "I really wish you would. If you have something to tell me in confidence, no one will hear even with the door open." I moved slowly around the desk to get to the door.

"That might be... But I won't be able to seduce you with the door open." Sensuality fairly dripped from Mandy now. How could she change so quickly? Before I could reach the door, Mandy put her hands around my neck and looked at me with an unmistakable I-want-to-fuck-you look in her eyes. Somehow her movement had also opened her blouse wide, exposing her creamy, smooth white cleavage accentuated by her black push-up bra.

I awkwardly backed away to separate myself from her, but I backed into my desk and fell-sat onto it. Undaunted, Mandy moved forward again. God, her breasts looked beautiful. She looked so sexy. I stammered to say something, but Mandy spoke first. "Don't worry, Carl. I'm a big girl. I know what I want, and I want you." Her hands were again around my neck sliding up into my hair.

I bolted to the door and opened it. I spoke quietly. "Mandy, you're an amazing young woman, and under other circumstances I would jump at the opportunity you suggest. However, I insist that we have to maintain a professional relationship in the situation we are in." My heart was racing. How would she respond?

At first, Mandy looked completely deflated, but she recovered quickly. The confident smile returned to her face. She casually buttoned her blouse with one hand as she spoke. "I understand your position on this matter, Carl. And I respect it." By now she was entirely composed again, looking quite professional. "I'll follow your wishes and won't raise this issue again." She started to leave but turned in the door with a wicked look, "But if you want to revisit this issue, ... just know that I will remain open to you." She winked and departed.

I shut my door and collapsed in the chair next to my desk, unable to make it to my normal chair. Wow! How did a girl her age get to be so seductively mature? At that moment, I no longer felt guilty for the time I spent with Frankie. I knew that without my escapade with Frankie that it would have been physiologically impossible for me to refuse Mandy's advances. However, because of Frankie I easily resisted Mandy's considerable charms, and I never felt my resolve waver. Thank you, Frankie.

The next morning I was staring out my office door trying to formulate the next section of the research paper I was writing. A familiar figure materialized down the hall, and I focused my eyes to see Maria walking down the hall toward my office. Because I was already staring in that direction when she entered the hall, I watched her unabashedly as she glided all the way down the hall and into my office. She had on jeans and a conservative blouse. Simple clothes, but on her they looked like perfectly tailored high fashion. I consciously tried to calm my heart and my loins. I spoke as she entered my office. "Good morning, Maria."

"Good morning, Dr. ... Carl." Without hesitation she sat in the chair next to my desk. She didn't waste time coming to her point. "I passed the test easily. Thank you for helping me. I could have never done it without all the extra help you gave me."

"Oh, no problem. It was my pleasure to see you learn." I tried to remain highly professional in my reply. "And I was glad to see that you were able to show it on the exam, too." Her big brown eyes tempted me to get lost in their gaze. I fought to maintain my instructor's demeanor.

"It was nice to go from a D- to a B-. Only..." Maria hesitated, seeming a little less sure of herself now. "I really want to do better than a B, though. Maybe that seems greedy, but I expect A's from myself. I always expected my children to get A's, and they usually did. Why should I settle for any less in myself?" She seemed disappointed in herself.

"You made a big jump from the quiz the test. I'm sure now that you're on the right path, 'A' grades will eventually come." I was still worried about her math skills, but I felt she needed support at the moment.

"Don't get me wrong, I was amazed at how much easier the test was for me than the quiz. I felt I knew all the principles really well, and I don't think I missed a single question on concepts. But the math was still challenging. I'm worried about what might be coming." Well, this was the most that Maria had confided in me to date. I decided to be equally straightforward.

"Yeah." I agreed. "It did seem like the only thing you struggled with were the problems that involved a little mathematical twist." I smiled, trying to look as friendly and sympathetic as possible. "In fact, when I graded your test, it got me thinking that maybe I'm not the best math teacher."

Maria interrupted emphatically. "No. You helped me tremendously. You were gr..." Before she could continue I put up my hand to stop her.'

"It's okay. I'm a professor of chemistry not math. I can admit to weakness in an area I'm not trained in." My tone was jovial hoping to relax Maria. "Anyway, I recalled a website with great tutorials and interactive problems in math." I pulled up the website on my computer and turned the screen toward Maria. "See. They have little mini-lectures with this piece of chalk moving like you would see in a class." I clicked on a problem link. "And then you can solve these questions in steps. You can click for hints that pop up in another window. I think that anyone can learn or relearn a lot of math from this site alone." The excitement in my voice was clear. I like good teaching.

Maria looked carefully at the screen. "How do I find the right sections to study?" She sounded a little skeptical, but I think I was convincing her.

"I think if you start right here," I pointed to a link on the contents page. "And if you work through here," pointing to a topic link farther down, "you will cover most everything necessary for the entire year of chemistry, not just this semester."

"That's quite a bit." Although she was raising an objection, I could tell she was convinced. "But, I can find time to do it." She was nodding in agreement with herself, then stopped abruptly and looked at me. "It's going to take me a while to get comfortable with that much algebra. In the meantime, I'm afraid that I'll just keep getting lost in lecture."

"That's no big deal." I responded confidently. "It's not uncommon for students to need two or three regularly scheduled meetings with me a week. I'm used to setting aside a special set of office hours for a student or two who needs and wants them. If you can come in two or three times a week, I'm sure we can get you past any problems you have in the lecture."

"You've already spent so much time tutoring me. Are you sure you could make that much time for me?" I could tell that Maria wanted the help but truly didn't want to be an imposition. Little did she know that I would eagerly spend every waking -- and sleeping -- moment with her.

"Like I said, I've done this for students several times in the past. You won't be getting special treatment. If you don't need the help later in the semester, we can cut back to once a week or so."

"Alright. But what if I need more meetings rather than less as we go?" Maria said jokingly, with just a hint of truth behind it.

"There's always Saturdays at the coffee shop," I jested in reply.

"I don't think that we'll have to get that extreme again." Inside I wished that Maria had instead insisted on Saturday meetings.

We decided to meet every Tuesday and Thursday, on days we didn't have lectures. I came to look forward to these two times more than anything else in my life. Sometimes after a tutoring session I would develop a hole in my heart and go through a bout of sadness, but I reveled in the time I got to spend with Maria. We mostly kept to business with occasional interludes about personal matters. I learned that Maria had one son and two daughters. All of whom had graduated college and were either in professional school or had good jobs. I heard no mention of a husband or divorce. Maria never wore a wedding ring, which made me assume that she wasn't currently married; however, I also knew that was a dangerous assumption to make.

As the weekend that Frankie said I could visit approached, I knew that I couldn't visit her. However, I felt that it would be rude to just not show up after the intimacy that Frankie and I had shared. I decided to send her flowers at the club. I probably got too mushy on the card, but I put the following on it:

"Dear Frankie,

Thank you for the special time you spent with me. You are a wonderful woman. I'm not here today because my heart already belongs to another. And although she doesn't feel the same way toward me, you deserve better than a man who would pine for another woman.

Please be happy and healthy,

Carl -- the 'Professor'"

I worried that she might not get the flowers at all. In addition, the pragmatist in me told me that Frankie probably wouldn't remember who "Carl the Professor" was. Regardless of those likelihoods, I felt that I owed her my thanks, and I couldn't think of a better way to give them.

Maria worked diligently, raising her grade on the second exam to an A-. She was clearly pleased at the following help session, and I made sure to congratulate and support her. We continued our routine of regularly helping her to learn in my office. It became so much of a routine that I almost started to look at Maria as just another student. Almost. Her closeness, her scent, her presence raised feelings of longing and romance every time she was in my office. She revealed so little of her personal life that my unrequited feelings became routine.

With about only four weeks left in the semester, I finally finished the research paper I was writing. It was about 8:30 in the evening when I finalized the electronic submission process in my office. I had skipped dinner entirely to complete this task. I was starving and felt like celebrating my accomplishment. I calculated that I could just make it to my favorite steak house before they would be closing at 9:00. So, I grabbed my jacket and hurried out.

"How many in your party?" the hostess queried as I rushed in under the gun.

"Just me." I replied.

"Okay, party of one, right this way." I smirked at the "party of one" comment. I don't know how one person can have a party, but I felt like trying. In the last couple of years, I had grown accustomed to dining out alone. Some people found it odd, but I like to eat and I didn't have a regular dining partner. So, more often than not I was a party of one.

I had my head down in the menu trying to make up my mind when I heard a familiar voice say, "Can I get you something to drink?" I couldn't quite place the voice, though, because it was so out of context. When I looked up, my jaw literally dropped. Maria was my waitress.

"I uh. I uh... Hi!" I stammered uncomfortably. From the look on Maria's face, she was clearly enjoying my discomfort. However, I recalled her previous unwillingness to share where she worked, and I didn't want her to think that I was stalking her or something. My irrational worry that she might think I was a stalker caused me to miss the signs that she was happy to see me. So, I needlessly added, "I didn't know you worked here." There was far too much stress in my voice.

"Yeah, you look a bit surprised." Her look went from happy to worried. "Wait. You don't mind having me as your waitress, do you?"

"Oh no." I assured her. "No. It's nice to see a friendly face."

"Good, because I asked to get switched to your table when I saw you come in." That sounded nice, maybe I could extricate my foot from my mouth today.

I ordered. While she waited on me, we exchanged pleasantries, and I asked her about her preparedness for the upcoming exam. However, we didn't really get to talk too much at first because she was busy with other tables -- she had taken my table on as an overload.

By the time that I was requesting coffee at the end of the meal, most the other patrons had cleared out. It seemed to me that I was Maria's only remaining customer. When I asked for coffee, she recommended, "You know we have fantastic cheesecake here. You should try a piece." I could tell that this was said for me as "Carl" not for me as a random customer.

"Oh. I know it's good. I'm really tempted, but I'm so full after that huge steak." A bold idea hit me like a bolt of lightning. "You know, what I really need is someone to share a piece with. It's pretty quiet now. Could I convince you to split a cheesecake and have some coffee with me?"

Maria contemplated my offer only briefly. "I'm the best worker they have. So why shouldn't I be able to have desert with a friend." It wasn't said as a question. "I'll be right back with our order." I liked the fact that it was "our" order.

Sure enough she was right back with dessert and two coffees. Maria sat down in the seat opposite me. I told her about finishing and submitting my paper. I learned that her new grand-daughter was doing fine and cute as can be. After we chatted amicably for a few minutes, Maria's demeanor turned a little less light hearted. "You know, at first you seemed really put off by the fact that I was your waitress. More than just surprise." She paused briefly before continuing. "Was there something more to it than just being caught unaware?" Well, I was found out for sure. I felt the best course was to come clean, well mostly clean.

"It's just that the first time you came to my office it seemed that you didn't want me to know where you worked. So, when I saw you I was worried at first that you might think I was invading your privacy or something."

Maria looked puzzled, no, more like clueless. Slowly, she asked, "What do you mean I didn't want you to know where I worked?" Obviously her avoidance of revealing her personal life to me was so innate that she can't even remember it now. I thought to myself.

"When we made plans to meet at the coffee shop, you said it had to be in the morning because you were working that afternoon. So, on the way out the door I asked where you were working, and you said, 'I don't know'." Maria looked even more confused, and stared at me in silence. I tried to explain further. "Well," uncomfortable pause, "who doesn't know where they work? I figured you were politely telling me to mind my own business."

A look of stunned astonishment washed over Maria's face, followed by hearty laugh. "Really?!" She laughed some more before continuing. "I said 'I don't know' because I work two jobs and just couldn't remember which one I had to go to on Saturday." She chuckled again. "You thought I was avoiding telling you where I worked?"

"Yeah," I said in a small, sheepish voice.

"Why would I do that?" Fortunately, she still just seemed amused.

"I don't know," the little sheep named Carl said. Then with more confidence I added, "I wasn't going to pry into it if you wanted your privacy."

Maria just shook her head. Smiling at me she said, "I'm perfectly happy sharing where I work with you. In fact, my other job is at Otto's." Otto's was a local department store at the mall. After shaking her head in disbelief once more she added, "That calls for some more coffee." She picked up both of our cups and walked toward the waitress' station. I was pleased to see that she wore a big smile as she walked away.

On the way to the back, she was called over to a table. She stood there talking for several minutes. At first I was content just trying figure out a way to ask her to a full blown dinner or movie night or something like a date, only innocent. But after awhile I started wondering what was occupying her for so long at this table. I was pretty sure that she wasn't serving it. My view was mostly obstructed by the booths and planters in between. It looked like Maria was talking to two women, but I couldn't be sure. I noticed that Maria glanced in my direction several times. Her face seemed more serious than when she left my table. Finally, she took our cups to the back.

She came to my table with only one cup and didn't sit down. "I really hate to do this, but my boss is getting on me for spending too long over here. I need to get to the back and start cleaning up. You can pay the hostess on the way out." Her tone was now strained formality.

"I hope I didn't get you in trouble." I stated.

"No. It's alright. I enjoyed myself, but if I spend any more time, I will get in trouble." Maria definitely seemed in a hurry to get moving.

"Thank you. I really enjoyed your company. I'm sorry if I caused you to be on the boss' bad side." The last thing I wanted was for Maria to get in trouble because of me.

"No, it's not that big of a deal," she assured me again. "I'll see you in class." With that she hustled off to the kitchen.

I went to pay the bill at the front. I noticed that Maria had forgotten to add the coffees and cheesecake to the bill. I informed the hostess, and she added them to the charges. I gave Maria a generous, but not too generous, tip.

On the drive home, I reviewed the rollercoaster ride of the evening. First, sweating that Maria would think I was a stalker. Then, the joy of discovering that she hadn't tried to hide her personal life from me; followed by the pleasure of chatting with her like true friends. Finally, ending with an abrupt dismissal. Maria's mood was just so odd when she came back out of the kitchen. It didn't quite seem like an employee who had just been chewed out by their boss. I started to wonder if I was lacking part of the story. What had she talked about at that booth for so long? And who had she been talking with? Did I say something wrong? Did she start thinking about how odd it was for me to put so much importance on where she worked in the first place?

My "relationship" with Maria seemed doomed to a series of fits and starts. Every time that it seemed like we might move past the teacher-student relationship, something happened to pull the rug out. That's probably for the best, I thought. Even though she's not 19, Maria's still my student, and it would be inappropriate to do any of the things I'd like to do while she is still in my class.

Maria earned a clean A on the third exam. Because she was now doing so well, she skipped a couple of our regular meetings before the final. She was always polite enough to let me know ahead that she was going to miss. We still worked well together, but it was clear that after our second fleeting attempt at friendship over coffee our relationship was strictly back to professional. I almost wished that Mandy would flirt with me just to get a little of my self-confidence back.