Mellow Yellow Ch. 08

“And while I’m lecturing you on Americans, let me return to your question on dicks and bush. Americans have an obsession with measurements and statistics. Look at their national game, baseball. Baseball is inherently a boring game and Americans make it the epitome of boredom by keeping all those statistics on insignificant aspects of the game. So, it’s only natural that they take their statistics to bed with them.”

Melinda interrupted my lecture: “And it also means that Americans are different from Vietnamese. Remember that Hanna wanted to tell everyone she had a boyfriend but she couldn’t because Ted was white. Remember how angry she was when her friends started teasing her about Ted’s ‘banana’.” Melinda looked at me sternly: “But we can keep a secret, can’t we?”

“Of course, and we have to. Al can get fired for having an affair with another manager. The same thing with Nancy. Her position is higher in the company than Stephen’s so the company could call it sexual harassment. It’s not up to us to right any wrongs or act like marriage counselors.”

“Paul, one final question. Why are they both having affairs when their life looks so great on the surface and they are both successful?”

“I can’t answer that one for sure. I suspect that they have been married too long and they became bored with each other. Remember how they both claimed that the other one didn’t know how to perform? I suspect that they both found an opportunity to get involved sexually with someone who was both available and different. That’s why they both chose interracial relationships.”

“But we’ll never get bored with each other and go off in search of someone else, will we?”

“I guarantee it, Melinda. You make my life so interesting that I’ll never be bored with you.”