Memories

When he got back to his car he tore the envelope open. He soon realized that Keri had given all of the details of their assets and liabilities to Trey, and that he had put them into a spreadsheet that seemed to show things working out equally between the two of them if she took the cash and he kept the car, house and furniture. They had very few liabilities besides the mortgage and their outstanding credit card balances. The spreadsheet showed that each would be responsible for their own credit card debt so at least he didn't have to worry about that.

As he looked more closely at the figures he realized that the whole thing depended on him accepting his share as being the equity in an overvalued house containing furniture that was not likely worth what the two of them claimed. He realized that if he were to try to get his $20,000 share in cash it would never happen as their figures did not include realtor and legal fees for selling the house for starters. It looked good on paper and was just the kind of thing he would expect from a shyster lawyer.

After jamming the papers back into the envelope Kevin drove to his bank where he managed to secure a line of credit that would cover his outstanding mortgage payment and anything else that could show up before he collected his next paycheck and deposited it into the account. He only hoped that he would be able to financially handle the mortgage as well as the new loan and all of the household expenses until he could get caught up on things. He had always been able to rely on their savings to tide them over any fluctuations in their income or the unexpected expenses that came up from time to time. He knew it would take him a couple of months at least to get things under control.

The next two weeks were a seesaw of emotions for Kevin. The day after his visit to Crosby and Knox he got an official letter warning him to stay away from Keri and Bradley Knox III or he would have a charge of stalking laid against him along with an order to maintain a minimum 100 yard distance from the two of them. It got him angry enough that he almost decided to call their bluff on the issue, but eventually realized that that was likely to work against him. A week later his anger returned when he received notice that Keri had filed for divorce using the terms for settlement that the two of them had sent him in the spreadsheet. $200 and another couple of hours of lost wages resulted in having another lawyer in a three piece suit tell him that while the settlement wasn't perhaps totally fair, he would spend more than it was worth to fight it.

When he wasn't being aggravated by letters and notices from Keri and Trey, life was beginning to settle down for Kevin. It was three weeks after Keri left that he realized he needed to do more work to erase some of the memories of her from his home. Every time he walked into the bedroom he could see her image seated at the makeup table she always used, or lying on the bed reading a book, one of her favorite leisure pastimes.

He began changing things around the house to create a new atmosphere, first removing the makeup table and putting it in storage in the basement. He found he was able to rearrange the bedroom furniture enough to give the room a new look, one that hadn't been used by he and Keri. In the bathroom he was able to remove several of the decorations she had placed on the walls, giving that room a new feel as well. When he was finished he felt better about it, more able to call the house his home.

While he was making changes to the house he realized there were more obvious reminders of Keri that he was going to have to deal with. These were the pictures of her, or the two of them, that were hung on several walls and sitting on the end tables and mantle in the living room. He finally decided one night that he would remove all of these images and reminders of her, and made a tour around the house removing pictures from their frames and putting them into a box that he had found in the basement. When he finished that he moved to their collection of photo albums that were kept in a bookcase in the living room.

The first album he picked up contained almost nothing but pictures of the two of them and after removing several that were of him alone, or friends he still valued, he put the book with the remaining pictures into the box. The next album was from their wedding, and the only photos that he kept from it were of him with his parents. They had both passed away since the wedding and the photos were some of the last records he had of them. The rest of the book went into the box.

He continued leafing through the pages of the remaining albums, leaving most of the pictures before adding the books to the box. The last album he took from the shelf contained primarily photos that he had brought into their marriage. Many were of his childhood and high school years, although there were a few of Keri that he removed and added to the pile in the box. As he leafed through the book of memories of his younger years, he came across one that caused him to pause. It was a picture of him with

Carol Reese, his girlfriend through most of his high school years. He wondered what she was doing now and what had happened to her after she left for University. They had broken up when she left, and he had eventually gone on to trade school and Keri.

This entire book of photos was carefully placed back on the shelf, and the small stack of photos that he had kept from the other books was placed on top of it ready to be added to it at a later date. For now he felt he had done quite enough, and he would return to the pictures another day. He had been able to cut away the last obvious reminders of Keri although it didn't eliminate the many times that he would think of her during the day and especially at night as he lay in what had been their marital bed.

Before he went to bed that night he took out the local phone book and looked up the entries for Reese. There was none for Carol, which he didn't find surprising, but he also didn't find one for her widowed mother, Marianne Reese. He still remembered their address, and it wasn't listed under any Reese. There were only a few Reese entries, none of which connected with his memories of Carole. His curiosity satisfied, he put the book away and didn't think any more about the only other woman who had ever meant anything to him.

About six weeks after Keri's hurried departure from his life Kevin was disturbed by a knock at his front door that took him from his time-killing nightly appointment with the boob tube. Night after night he had sat there watching shows that had absolutely no importance to him beyond being a means to fill the hours between supper and bed. When he answered the door he was surprised to see that it was Keri's brother, Robert Kane.

"Hi, Robert. Come in. I wasn't expecting to see you." Kevin stepped back to let Keri's older sibling step into the house.

Once he had passed by Kevin, Robert turned and clapped his brother-in-law on the shoulder and said, "How are you doing, Kevin? I tried to call you but the message said your number was no longer in service."

"Oh, yeah; I canceled my regular phone service and just use my cell now. I didn't see the need for the extra expense." Kevin led the other man into the living room where the two of them sat in separate chairs.

"Can I get you a beer Robert?"

"Sure, Kevin, I don't mind if you do."

Kevin left for a moment and returned with two opened bottles, passing one to his longtime friend. "I don't imagine you want a glass with that."

"No, this is fine."

The two men each had a drink from their bottles before Kevin asked, "So, what brings you here? I wondered if you'd ever be around again, what with Keri having split."

Robert shifted a bit uncomfortably in his chair before saying, "Actually, that's why I'm here. You know that she's been my wife's best friend for ages, and two days ago Keri came by for a visit with her. I told Keri what I thought of her cheating on you with her boss, and after that Keri and Susan went into the kitchen to talk alone. I went out into the garage because I was too pissed at her to hang around."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Robert, but I don't want to come between you and your sister. What's done is done, and I'm trying to carry on with my life."

"Well, she is my kid sister, and I know this will eventually pass from between her and me, but right now I don't have much use for her. I know my parents aren't happy either, but they'll stick with her no matter what."

Kevin looked glumly at his beer before saying, "Family comes first."

Robert carried on, "Anyway, I left the door to the kitchen ajar when I went into the garage, and I could hear the two of them talking. Even though I wasn't interested in talking to her, I decided to listen to what Keri had to say for herself. I went and sat by the kitchen door and just listened."

Kevin was clearly interested in what Robert would have to say as he leaned forward and said, "Did she have much to say about it? I'm still trying to figure out what she sees in the guy, besides his money."

"I think you sort of hit the nail on the head. I won't be able to quote them word for word, but I can give you the gist of their conversation. When you caught her through her emails, she made a quick decision to drop you and go for broke with her boss. She figured you'd never forgive her, so she took plan B."

"Wasn't she already committed to him?" asked Kevin, looking a little puzzled.

"Apparently not, from what I heard. She told Susan that although the gifts and lifestyle with Bradley are great, she said you had him beat by a mile in the bedroom. She made it sound like she would have broken it off with him very soon, perhaps even as soon as the next week if you hadn't caught her."

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda. It doesn't matter now." Kevin took another drink from his bottle and sat back further in his chair.

"She realizes that; she knows it's over. I just figured you might like to know that she's expressing a lot of regrets for the whole thing now."

"It sure hasn't stopped her from proceeding full speed ahead with the divorce. I got more papers from the court today. I guess Trey must have a friendly judge expediting things for her."

"I never heard anything about that from her. I did hear the two of them use the expression 'starter husband' though. It sounds like they had talked about it before, and when she first got involved with him she figured he'd be a step up for her. That's another thing; Susan was apparently aware of all of this right from the beginning. I'm so upset with Susan I haven't dared to bring up the subject with her, for fear of what I might say."

"So she thinks of me as her starter husband; isn't that just great?" Kevin paused to get his anger under control before continuing, "I don't want you to get into an argument with Susan on my account, Robert."

"It wasn't just Keri who was thinking that way. From the tone of their conversation it sounds like Susan might have toyed with the same ideas as Keri. I'm going to talk to her about all of this soon, as soon as I think I can talk to her without losing my temper. My wife has a few things to answer for."

The two men carried on their conversation for another half hour before Robert got up to leave. He had added a few more minor details from the overheard conversation, but nothing of significance to Kevin, who was still thinking about the whole starter husband thing as he finally drifted off to sleep a couple of hours later.

After work the next day Kevin stopped at one of the major grocery stores that were on his route home. He had decided that it was time to start eating more healthy foods; something better than the fast food he'd been living on for the last six weeks. He had just emptied his cart onto the checkout belt when the cashier asked, "Aren't you Kevin Reilly?"

Kevin looked up and immediately recognized her as a former high school classmate. "Hi, Wendy; I didn't realize you worked here. It's been a long time."

They carried on a pleasant conversation while Wendy checked out his order. After paying for his purchase Kevin asked, "Say, Wendy, you were quite friendly with Carol Reese; have you heard anything about what became of her or her mother?"

Wendy thought for a moment before saying, "I remember hearing that she got married, but that was years ago. Her mother still lives in the same house, although she remarried a few years ago."

"I hadn't heard that. Do you know Mrs. Reese's new married name?"

Wendy thought some more and replied, "I think it was Smith something; Smitherman or Smithson maybe."

The two old friends finally exchanged goodbyes after agreeing to meet for coffee one day. As he returned home Kevin was in a better mood than he had been for quite some time. Meeting an old friend had brought back a lot of pleasant memories to his mind, and he was grateful for anything that took his mind off his soon-to-be ex-wife. After he made himself a healthy supper for the first time in weeks, he went out for a short jog, a warm up for what he had decided would become his new nightly routine; proper meals followed by regular exercise.

Shortly after returning from his run he decided to look for Carol's mother's phone number and soon found it listed under Smithers in the phone book. Knowing that there was no time like the present, he dialed the number.

Kevin was soon speaking with Marianne Smithers and got right to the point. "I was hoping to get Carol's address. I thought I might write her just to say hello."

"I was just going out the door to her place. Her name is Carol Janzen now, and you don't have to write her; you can just phone her." She proceeded to give him the phone number and added the information that Carol was now a widow. Since she was in a rush to leave the two quickly exchanged goodbyes.

After he was off the phone Kevin looked up Carol Janzen in the phone book and noted that her address placed her in an area of the city best-known as a troubled neighborhood of low income housing. He was quite surprised at that and wondered why Carol would be living there. He decided that one day he would give her a call.

The next few days saw quite a change in Kevin. His new healthier lifestyle rubbed off on his attitude, and he was now much more cheerful at work. He could actually begin to imagine that life without Keri would be possible after all. Just as that new mindset was taking hold a new email from Keri gave him more to ponder.

It was a very short email comprised of only one line that simply stated "I never thought of you as a starter husband." It was evident that Robert and Susan had had the discussion Robert was contemplating when he left Kevin's a few days previously. Susan had apparently passed on the information that Robert had overheard the women's conversation and had given the information to Kevin.

The message brought everything back to Kevin that he had been trying to forget. After considering her message for several minutes he sent her a reply, "Actions speak louder than words." She never replied to that comment.

++++++++++

Almost exactly three months after Keri had walked out of their house to join Trey, Kevin received his final divorce papers. The apparent ability of Trey to rush these papers through the system surprised him. After he returned from his now routine jog, he celebrated his status as one of the newly divorced with a single cold beer. When he had finished drinking it he went to his computer and sent Keri the message "You got what you wanted." It was the last email between them, and she never replied to it.

Later that night, after rereading and filing away his divorce decree, Kevin decided it was time to call Carol Janzen to say hello. He had considered calling her several times over the past weeks since he had been given her number, but he simply hadn't yet been ready to take that step. Since he was divorced and she was a widow he thought that perhaps they could share a dinner or a couple of drinks one night for old time's sake. With that in mind he dialed her number.

When she answered he had just identified himself when she said, "Kevin! I'm so glad you called. Mom told me that you had phoned, and I was beginning to think you had decided not to call me."

The two old friends spent the next hour bringing each other up-to-date on the major points of their lives since high school. Kevin found out that Carol had been married to Frank Janzen during her last year of university. He was in the National Guard and had been called up for service in Iraq. Three months after he arrived there she was told that a teenager on a bicycle had self detonated at the checkpoint her husband was manning, and he and another soldier had been killed. It had left her a widow with a now four-year-old daughter, Chrissy. The two of them were living on the survivor's pension she was receiving from the Army, but once her daughter was old enough to attend school Carol intended to go back to work in her field as an Occupational Therapist.

Kevin in turn told Carol of his new status and some of the details of how and why he had become newly divorced. Eventually it was time for them to say goodbye, as Carol had to put her daughter to bed. Kevin decided now was the time to see whether Carol would be interested in getting together with him.

"So, Carol, what do you think of getting together for supper or a couple of drinks one night?"

Carol hesitated before answering, "I'm sorry Kevin; I don't think I'm ready for that yet. My daughter is my big concern right now. Maybe another time."

Kevin was quite disappointed as he had thought they were reconnecting after all the years. "That's OK Carol; I hope I didn't upset you by asking. Goodbye and good luck Carol." He was finding that her reaction bothered him quite a bit, and so he had quickly hung up. Being officially divorced and then rejected by his old girlfriend combined to take him back to the refrigerator for another beer and when he had finished it he went straight to bed. It had turned into an emotionally hard day for him.

+++++++++

The next two months passed by quickly. Kevin's routine had become what kept him going, and he knew that eventually he was going to have to decide what to do with the rest of his life. He knew that there was no point in jumping into another relationship so he had put that part of his life aside, wanting to wait until Keri was banished to the very fringes of his memory. He was still finding it difficult to spend more than a few hours without thinking of her although he could tell these recurring memories were becoming less troubling to him as more time passed.

Kevin had canceled his newspaper delivery months ago when he had eliminated his landline phone and premium cable channels in an effort to cut his expenses. He was now dependent on reading the papers left in the lunchroom by his coworkers who infrequently brought one to work. He would sometimes listen to local news on the radio, but again it was not on a regular basis. It was in this uninformed state that he went to work this particular morning.

During the morning coffee break he was engaged in a spirited work-related conversation with another mechanic when one of the other men tossed a newspaper in front of him and said, "You better read that, Kevin."

Kevin picked up the newspaper and read in the headline, "One Dead, One Critical." The accompanying story told of a fatal single car accident that had occurred the night before on the road leading from the local country club. The driver had lost control of his car, and it had gone into the ditch where it rolled several times. The driver, identified as Bradley Knox III, had been thrown from the car which then rolled over him. The passenger, Keri Reilly, had been critically injured and was now in intensive care in the local hospital. The police report indicated that alcohol may have been a factor in the accident.