by suaveboy
This is a very,very good first story. I am not used to the ways of this forum, although I have been on others, so am just judging the story on its merit. The story is believable, it flows fluently, the actions are well described.
The plot is very romantic, which may explain how it ended up in here. I agree with you, though. It's better suited for EC because the Romance crowd is really big on the "Show, don't tell" philosophy concerning stories. You've done a lot of telling for this one, which is better for a sexy one-page EC piece than it is for a 4-6 page romance (that's the general length of the most popular stories in that category).
Anyway, congratulations on a great first story. I hope to see more from you in the future.