by Aliyahlovinsex
Tight and well told tale. It brings the reader along for a fast and satisfying ride. Thanks
Such a clean and neat little story, and very visual. Makes me sorry that it was so short.
You have a lovely imagination, darling. You should set it free and run with it and see where it takes you. We'd be happy to follow you. :)
Good story. Excellent discriptive writing but I agree it could have used a bit more dialogue.
to add! LOL
An enjoyable story, but too short for my taste. You did a very good job though. I liked it.
Good luck in the contest.
Black Tulip
A tale well told. The plot is a familiar one, perhaps, but the language rich and beautifully wrought. A refreshing read.
but I agree with what the others have said, that it was too short. It could have used more dialogue but what was here was very good.
which ideally need more fleshing out (pardon the pun!) to reach their full potential. Maybe more details/reaction/dialogue during the sex scene would have screwed the tension even more. I think this is a good beginning though....good luck!
Its very Anne Riceish but there is deffinetly a good basis for a more extended story here.
very well written and easy to read. But I agree, it was too short.
Smooth reading. Very much liked the discriptors and narritive.
Could have used dialogue and stronger sense of scene or place.
..it was very short. Perhaps you could have added more sex to draw the readers in, but since I know your writing style :) I liked that it wasn't over-sexed.
Besitos,
Flay