All Comments on 'More Than Human'

Good start...

Please write the total story in one place and start releasing on 2 or 3 pages. this may give you good fame...

How can specifically werewolves be older then people. The were part of the name means man, literally Man-wolf. Vampirism i guess you could claim as some kind of infection that can exist anywhere but if it existed in nature outside of humanity youd think we'd have noticed. Animals, not giving a shit about who knows what they are, would not even bother to try and hide what they are and would have been discovered.

Great story, but you should write more :)

Pretty dark picture you're painting. Marisol a love interest perhaps? Or are they just combat buddies? She's barely mentioned. Interested to see more.

You could have added a bit more about the unnamed aunt and uncle. Obviously he feels little for them as they are unnamed. Did they not have children of their own? What did Frank do besides let him hang around? Why did the old man do that? Helps the reader to identify with protagonist if they understand why the two became friends, and why C.D. felt compelled to track down his killer. If his grades plummeted, what is he living on?

You could have a bit more background information. You don't have to do a lot, but a bit more to go on would be helpful.

Golems are artificial constructs, and by definition, from inanimate matter, the difference between them being what they are made of. One of the most famous ones is the Golem of Prague.

Assumption here is that his father is a flesh golem, as that would be the only type that would be fertile with humans. For those who don't know, Frankenstein's monster is an example of a flesh golem, and it was Mary Shelley's genius to consider dead flesh as a source of inanimate material for building a golem.

The race bit on C.D.'s background appears to be irrelevant considering his father's "other" status. You stress that he is half-human and half Other, and toss this in. It muddles the plot. Because of how golems are made, do we know for sure that all of his father was entirely black? I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, but why say he's half black and then say he's light skinned? Is the fact of him being a half-breed make him magically white? He doesn't like Others and is now on a crusade against them, yet he somehow identifies himself as half black because of his father? "I love you but I also hate you, Dad?" A distraction from the story. Unless ... C.D. has a black dick and maybe black balls to go with it? That would be weird, but could be an interesting kink in the tale.

FWIW, Ted Sturgeon wrote a novel many years ago with this same title, though the plots are obviously much different. Not relevant here, but a bit free association.

Good plot it need fleshing out to be a 5 for me

Try outlining your stories. What you wrote here would be I. Introduction. there should be at least three story sections where a conflict happens and is resolved and then conclusion.