by omarqairt
English apart (obviously not the author's mother language) and some lack of writing technique the story is erotic and lively. I am not a fan of non consentant sex but I've read much worse stories in this site.
Some of the comments here just reveal the difficulty (or non willingness) of accepting a foreign culture or in a word - chauvinism.
I'd love to tell you how great this story was.
I'd like to say how turned on I was.
Instead I'll just use one word
CRAP !
I didn't go past this and based on other comments if would haqve been a big waste of time.
"I messaged her breasts"!!
Wow, tits that can receive texts, what a concept :)
The story has it's good points even though it's rough to read.As with any first time poster, I think the author will improve by the way of experence. Good feedback and an editor, is what this author needs, not cheap shots at his work. Thanks
I did a better job on the day I lost my virginity than you did on this what you may want to call a story, I call it crap!
I would suggest having someone proof read your paper as well as using spell check. The lousy spelling takes away from the story. Good luck in the future.