All Comments on 'Mother I Hate'

This story really deserves a part 2. Voted a 4 because it's at least a good start.

looking forward to the 2nd part.

Good start the sex was hot. My only real suggestions are either get an editor(you can find some on Lit) or at least have someone proof read it and make it a little longer. maybe even have the son witness mom acting slutty around his friends. Love the young partner angle. As I said very good and look forward to future chapters.

nothing here right now but a couple of comments.

definitely hoping to see some more

...but it ends with the sublimal promise of a continuation. In the intro you said the topic was incest, but none to be seen.

I am looking forward to a continuations, thus have earmarked you as a favourite writer, and hope that you are not going to disappoint me.

You didn't give enough to justify the incest category.

Whether you continue to write or not is purely up to you. But man up and do what makes you happy instead of basing your decision on the posters. *

and I hope the son does the right thing, reveals the video to his old man and the cheating bitch/mom gets burned real bad.

Ok, I am no fancy literary critic and I understand that the situation could exist in future chapters for there to be mother/son and son/sister sex thus the incest category.

My suggestion would be more background in chapter one. Since you have poster that already do it to begin chapter two. Develop father a little more and explain how in more detail the couple got to separation from wife and husbands view . Then charge forward. Thanks

Ed

I hope you do continue it.

lefrog says that he should show the film to his dad, his dad will think the film was disturbing to himself, but his dad will wonder why, if his son was so disturbed by the video, then why did his son enjoy so much to masturbating to the video. why is it none of you people catch on to the small details. anyway, i think this author means to continue with the dad sending his son to a nutty psychiatrist, and he needs to get his loose daughter away from the sick mother. her mothers adultery is ok, but his mothers sick language of her boyfriend calling her a bitch and his mother wanting slapped, i do not condone this behaviors. i can understand her son getting off on watching his sick mother being abused. she deserves it. but her son doesnt have to enjoy her abuse so much that he has to masturbate to it. great story.

I was prejudiced against this story right from the very title, "Mum I hate". It is a sad feature of so much modern society that many people aren't aware of any emotion at all in between love and hate. How many times have we heard schoolgirls say "Oh yes, I used to love so-and-so, but now I hate him"? There's the clue - schoolgirls. It is childish to use the word "hate" for every negative emotion. Hatred is the most extreme negative emotion, and should be used sparingly by a writer (and ideally, not at all by a real person in their real life!). Try to think of some other words ... you can resent someone, or dislike them, or feel contempt for them, or be irritated by them, or be disgusted by their actions or be disappointed in them ...

Is there supposed to be something between these?

Mother I Hate

bymorhamza©

bymorhamza© 12 comments/ 0 views/ 13 favorites

Put a little more effort into your next story.

Don't let the other commenters dissuade you.

The sex was a little rushed and the grammar could use some editing. Have someone proof your work. Not a bad premise. Don't stop because of comments. Some people are just rude and mean. Not a bad first story. I've seen worse.

Intro story so I'm not so worried about the sex. I didn't have any issues with your story to be honest. Wish it was longer but short of that it was good

The story's premise has a LOT of potential. I would write a second, longer chapter one that YOU will enjoy. Never write for other people. We can tell when a writer does because there is little emotion involved. If you are just writing a wank story, no worries, but if you are trying to write a STORY with sex for "enhancement" (hehe) then write what would get you to read the second chapter. Then find someone to act as an editor or proofer to help you polish it. If the story is there, people WILL read it.

For an intro story even, it was short, but I get not wanting to put a lot down since you are putting yourself out there. If writing is something you love, do NOT abandon your career/dream/love.

Considering it was just the opening chapter I thought the pacing and background were fine. When you get to the action with the protagonist you will probably want to go into more detail and draw out the action longer.

Ultimately though I agree with the others, write for your own enjoyment unless you have the goal of going "pro".

I like how you have set up the mother as a subject of disdain who will get "what is coming to her". It makes the protagonist more sympathetic and sets the stage for a power/dominance struggle between mother and son which will play out in the bedroom. Hot hot!

Please continue it...

Please write more to this.

I agree whole heartedly with LeFrog08's comment. Burn the bitch and to hell with the incest. She treated her son like shit, all his life, so using that video to fuck her hard in the divorce settlement is far better revenge than black mailing her into fucking him. Besides, she obviously enjoys having her cunt fucked by young guys.

Put the video on Youtube and Facebook and then let the filthy cunt get thrown out of her law firm because the partners don't want the raunchy notoriety that comes when the video of her fucking her husband's Jr. partner goes viral on the Internet. Also, she'll most likely lose custody of her daughter... leaving her available for her son to fuck.

Okay wow! The story is actually doing better than I expected. Thank y'all that gave it a high rating and took your time to comment.

Anyway, getting a proof reader is going to be hard. I haven't told a soul I write erotica, it's kinda embarrassing. If you knew where I'm from, you'd know why.

Editors take too long editing the story, it already takes ages to get the moderator of the site to approve and post a story.

If I started using editors now, the time between posts would become longer. So bear with it for a while, I'll get better.

I've already started writing part two. *spoiler* if you thought he was going to blackmail the mum for sex, you'd only be half right.

It's weird, I wrote this story and didn't even notice that none of the central characters have names, gotta work on naming them.

You have to write more to the story now! I am on the edge of my seat to figure out if he does both his mom and sister now and uses the video to help his dad in the divorce settlement.

son needs to put her in check

she is a bitch make her pay!

great start please make it good

Good start, but that's the easiest part, will you be able to keep it ? ;-)

would like to see what happens next. please write more, thanks.

Please continue. With this story.

Perfect, characters, plot and writing.

This is a good start for an ongoing story. Keep up the good work.

need to continue the story now we are just hanging

I LOVE that mommy was in stockings. Nothing sexier than a horny mommy in them.