My Coming Out - A Look Backward

When we arrived at my house, Avi slowly walked me to the door. "Would you like to go out on Wednesday?" he asked softly.

"I think I might be free", was my response. We softly kissed and I went inside. As I was climbing the steps, I noticed that my legs weren't working all that well. The combination of being spread wide in the car and on the tombstone had caused me to use muscles that I hadn't utilized for a long time. I concentrated on trying to walk normally and stepped into the living room.

As luck would have it, both Beth and Janet were still up watching television. Beth looked at me and laughed out loud, "Well, my, my, my. Look what the cat dragged in!"

Janet's stare would have frozen water. She said nothing but I didn't really care.

"See ya in the morning," was my only response. I went down to my room and closed the door. Looking in the mirror, I could see what Beth was referring to. My hair was all over the place and my lipstick was a total disaster. Again, I had to smile and think to myself that it had been totally worth it.

That weekend set the tone for the entire summer. Just like clockwork, on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday nights, Avi and I would end up in that old country cemetery. That was a routine that I never got tired of but, like a lot of good things, it had to come to an end.

When Avi and I began our relationship, both of us knew that it would end when his time at UGA was over. There was no way that Avi would have remained in this country and I would have never considered moving to Israel. Our relationship was, in a sense, purely physical but that didn't mean that it wasn't meaningful.

Gary's older brother is a huge (and I mean HUGE) fan of Bob Seger and a few years back he gave a Gary a copy of Seger's "Greatest Hits" album. There's a track on it called "Night Moves" and every time I hear it, I think about Avi and that special summer. There's a line in it that goes something like, "I used her and she used me; neither one of us cared."

I think that just about sums up the relationship that Avi and I had. I mean, we didn't use each other in a mean or selfish way; we were just at stages in our life that we needed something and, fortunately, both of us had what the other needed. (You can make of that what you will!)

Whoops! Back to the present time! Gary's taking the steaks off the grill and they smell absolutely heavenly. Time to eat!

I glance back across our back yard. There's going to be a full moon tonight. The crickets and cicadas are chirping and there seems to be a zillion fireflies blinking on and off. A cool breeze has just started and the leaves on our big oak tree are gently rustling. All in all, a scene that takes me back again.

Since our marriage, Gary and I have been to a lot of places and have seen a lot of things. We've been to the Rockies in the winter, New England in the autumn, and even Paris in the springtime. They're all great. But for this country girl, NOTHING will ever beat a "southern night" in Georgia. Try it sometime. You'll see what I mean.