by SistaFucka
I highly suggest getting someone to proof-read your work, since I am guessing you didn't do it yourself...
Come on mate, is that all there is?
The idea was there but you need to make it work. Not even enough to stir a reaction here....
Poor conception, poor syntax, no imagination and less feeling. This writer couldn't write advertising copy for a mortuary. He has not yet learned to feel. Has to be a he because no woman would be this stupid.