All Comments on 'My Slut Wife Ch. 02'

I got confused with the with the flash back...

Great story so far. Looking forward to more.

I'd have to say reliving the infidelity from everyone's perspective is just taking up time from being creative. I like a longer story but one that keeps me interested. The picture created is good, the emotion is obvious but most of it could be said in half a page with 'good' effect.

Where is the husband going with this? What's her plan? Is she going bi in the long term as a fall back...I hate those. She is just worn out from what...?...and then she chats all day with her sub?

I want to encourage you to go on as the 1st chapter held a lot of promise. That's the problem for many I think; finding the end.

Rb

I think that the flow of the story was a little bogged down with flashing from one character to the other.

It might not have interrupted the story if her side was presented all at one time. But that's just my opinion.

A good story though, interesting and entertaining.

Thanks

I have problems with the flash backs as well. Flashbacks usually are used to add a piece of information to a story. We already know what happened. Going back over the events and just adding more detail, especially detail that doesn't add much to the story is a distraction. It's nice that he's at a tropical resort but it seems like there is time being spent on what he is doing but it adds nothing to the story. I can understand rich writing but there needs to be something of the storyline in the middle of it. You talk about his day but nothing of his feelings or thoughts about the impending divorce. The hotel info, as nice as it is, is just filler. It seems that, while she had her head up her butt, she didn't do too much. Bad enough but probably fixable. It bothers me she showed little remorse until he confronted her. That doesn't make her very sympathetic character for the reader. Looking forward to the next installment but try to move it forward.

and I'll continue to enjoy it. Looking forward to the next chapter.

xtremedd

I have to say your story is great. Very enjoyable! My wife and I are looking forward to the next chapters!

I didn't think I was going to get into this one, but it's growing on me. I still can't see the wife as a sympathetic character because her actions show her primarily to be a whore, trading her body for advancement, but she wouldn't be the first man or woman to get into that situation. This chapter did seem to be more marking time, but it did give us a better view of what happened and why. The husband is obviously the sympathetic character here, but I want to see what the wife's game plan is and if you can make readers (who hate cheating wives) empathize with or forgive her. It can be done. I've seen stories in here where a lot more egregious behavior occurred and there was a reconciliation if that's the direction it's going.

I don't know how Ashley will win him back. She quit her job and was checking his computer history but he has a solid case with the photos from her cell phone. Also all the problems they have been having for months and mentioning he didn't want to beg anymore for hand jobs or a mercy bang. Sounds like this is deeper than a bj like she thinks. Anyhow it is extremely well written and I find it quite interesting and I know that Ashley has something up her sleeve and can't wait to find out what it is. I like the husbands style and just goes on a vacation to chill out for two weeks. Thanks for sharing this interesting tale with us.

the sex scenes where great , I think you should try writting more group sex stories. I kinda don't like your scenarios so far though.

Looking forward to the rest

it wasn't quite a flashback so much as it just seemed out of sync. The second chapter took us no where, but I will be looking for the third one!

After reading the first two chapters I'm looking forward to the third. The flash backs didn't bother me (I was a Lost fan), and I think you have an interesting story line going so keep up the good work.

To the contrary of the "literary experts" out there, I thought that your use of the flashback was well placed and helped make this an interesting read. I'm looking forward to your next installment.

But where is this going? I am still interested. I did find the flash back style

in your story bothersome.

So I await the next installment.

Thanks for writing!

I dont think the flashback worked either. It could have used a couple of sentences of "setup", and the momentum you so expertly created in the first chapter just ground to a halt.

That being said, I look fwd toyour next instalment

At the end of the previous and the beginning of this chapter she seemed to be devastated

realizing her wrongdoings caused her marriage to fall apart and she felt like going to do everything to get it back. However just a few days after that she initiated and actively participated in another one of those “satisfy the customer whatever it takes” parties. Plot inconsistency or else I don’t know, but it doesn’t make much sense to me......exception to

the case if this is supposed to be a “real slut wife” story (referring to the story title).

I think it's a good story and i wasn't confused at all by the flash backs. I'm interested to see what happens between the husband and Brittany, and what Ashley does to try and win her husband back.

a legitimate intervention. And it was absolutely a little awkward, because it had no introduction really. Eminently readable plot so far. Tough call on recon. No torchable offenses I'd say, but her actions definitely warrant unilateral divorce offensive. Then again, the treacherous,lecherous,pusillanimous caitiff (there I go being a "pseudo-intellectual again!") did swallow foreign cum, never having extended said hospitality to her supposed "spouse". This just may incite the scorched earth team into mobility. Hope I don't have to endure how he meets a babe to wash away his ills within mere days of the revelation. Hope I can find an engine for the 4-runner.Hope they plug that damn hole too, but not before it lays some tarballs on the beaches of Long Island. Then you'll see some action baby.

Despite the the flaws that we all have to some extent in our own stories there are some who just can't resist throwing a few stones at a fellow author. Remember we are (for the most part) amateurs here. We do this for the pure enjoyment of writing, having our story's told, and for the chance of stimulating and entertaining the readers. On those counts alone I'd say this story is very well done. For those of you who have never tried to write a story ... take you best shot and try, you'll soon find out it's not as easy as it looks. As for my fellow authors... I'm sure you will agree with me that constructive criticism is always welcome but vitriol serves no point. One last thing Pistolpackinpete good job with the use of CAITIFF I'm impressed.

You told the same dumb ass story like three times and told use nothing! Get a life or at least finsih the story!

"The LW Long Distance Runner."

Others here mention the common themes of LW stories and this has the most common one, the male tucking his tail between his legs and running off to avoid confrontation. Pretty sad writing.

The writer must be a teenager. There is no point to dissect the story. It is what it is,as bad as it is. It is low skill of the writer that should be considered. Mayhaps when she grow-up the writing would be better. As it is--1 star.

With the flashbacks, we see a lot of duplication of aspects of the story which are not in question, or which are not terribly vital to the overall development of the story. Each one COULD have been formatted so as to be immediately obvious as a flashback, but it honestly did not take long to figure it out, especially on later flashbacks!

The story is getting more interesting as we get into it more!

Now we have the details. However it added nothing to the tale. It seems we could have went from ch.1 to ch.3 without missing anything, I will continue...

Obviously some of this chapter belonged in chapter 1.

Ashley really screwed up. Husband probably shouldn't take her back. Foolish woman.

Same ol, same ol. yawn. LP