All Comments on 'My Two Sisters and I Ch. 01'

Don't just narrate what happened in long paragraphs - have the characters talk to each other!

The plot seemed enjoyable, but the way the story was put together needs alot of help. Please get your next story edited before you publish.

if you add to this,please try to abreviate the paragrahs.....way too long. i don't usually do a critique on someones work,as i'm not a writer,just someone who knows what he likes.

Christ, he's telling a story from their past and intends to follow up with the story that is in the present give him a chance to continue before you tear him apart. Everyone is perfect except the authors. It's no wonder that so many stories get started then abandoned by there authors.

Keep writing and some of us will keep following along.

These stories are written by amateur authors, if they were professional you would have to pay big $$$$ for their published works. Give 'em a break and hopefully they will get better as they progress.

I enjoyed reading your story & I can't wait to read more.

I agree with the firat three comments, and also the next two. It could use some editing, shorter paragraphs, etc. However, that being said, I thought the story was a little rushed, but it piqued my interest. Continue the story and I will read it. I give this story a four, keep trying.

really needs more

You left me hanging with this one. Please finish it!

Thanks for writing!

Don't rush into Part 2.

This story was like the day my nine year old came home all excited and trying telling us about her day.

Take some time and organize your thoughts. Concentrate (or have someone else) on sentence structure and punctuation.

The constanat switch from first person to third and back is really distracting. Specially when you do it in the middle of a sentence.

I agree with the comments that have already been posted. It's good, but needs a lot of work. I don't understand why people don't use the spell and grammar check utilities that come with most word processors. If you did, the page would have been filled with errors marked in red. Please fix the problems before posting another story.

The story was not horrible but the grammar was. Helpful editors are at your fingertips on this site- use them.

always use editors before posting if the webmasters had any brains they would demand it but that said i would like to adress one of the commentors if these writers were paid most would be broke because the stories are way below par most here suck big time and the writers never listen or improve so stop bitching about honest opinions it's better than your kissass opinion

Must do a part two

I really enjoyed this