by Clayton Long
It sounds as if you are TELLING it to me; it’s too in-your-face. It should all be “shown” to me. BUT...
Great sex scene. Terrific, even. So much so I give it 4 stars.
this story was discusting.I know you can write better stories. My question is why spend your time writing garbage?
The prose is to flowery for my enjoyment. Though you do play out scenes well.
Great story, thanks. I think the male readers think of themselves as the husband and that is why your story received the votes and comments that it did. I think writing in the third person avoids that, but your story was more powerful written as you did write it. Keep it up!
But since I didn't much care for the subject matter I couldn't give you a 5. And you are in law enforcement???
lol fuckin great story i got engrossed in the passion and eroticness of this story amazing write..
Clayton, what a turn off. You didn't even let the lover get his cock sucked by the husband or give him a rim job for his arsehole. Why didn't he get his beown growler fucked?
He did demonstrate a good deal of submissive behaviour by eating her after the fucking but she should have never got any part of her body around hubby except her pussy and arse.
She, her lover, and the other woman could have urinated and deficated in his mouth after the sex.
OOOHH, I just about cum thinking of it all.