All Comments on 'Next Door Neighbour'

I know, rather than make the effort to get your shit together, PRETEND THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS JUST NEVER HAPPENED!! It takes ALL KINDS of time and effort to actually compose a story that doesn't suck, but it only takes A FEW SECONDS to remove a comment that hits... a little "too close" to home to be really comfortable? Am I right, or am I right?

If your writing didn't actually strike your readers with how awful it is, your three stories you've posted so far would have better scores. Only one of them managed to (barely) squeak by with just a 4.07 (so far), but this is the LOWEST ONE YET! 3.5 stars? Trust me, if you don't spend more time writing a story that doesn't suck dog balls, your scores will continue to slide. Remember that after you whine to the mods to get this comment taken down as well. Regardless of whether you make any effort to improve, or just continue to hide your head in the sand and pretend that "...everyone loves my stories, since there are no negative comments now that I've gotten them deleted...", I'll be laughing.

Seems like you are the only person who doesn't like my stories, if that is the case why read them in the first place ??? I also see that you have not written any yourself, maybe you should then see what others think if your story

penckay90, while I found the story a little rushed, especially since the protagonist lept from being shocked at being caught to a submissive "Yes miss Becky" in the space of three sentences, but you obviously know what you want to say. My reccomendation is you slow down the pace a little bit. Allow Becky (or whoever) be established as a dominant personality before the "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" starts. The concept isn't bad. It's a fairly commonly addressed fantasy on lit, but by no means have all ways to write the story been explored. If you don't feel you have time to craft lengthier stories, then drop some of the fluff about cleaning and whatnot and concentrate more on the personalities of the characters involved. Let us understand why they act like they do. That will make the story sexier, because to me, the psychology of the seduction or dominance or submission is far more of a turn on than the simple mechanics of it.

Now...as for your foul mouthed critic, who can't seem to understand why you'd delete the river of filth they pour onto the page, ignore them. Since they can't seem to be analytical in their critique and offer any ways to improve your style, instead peppering their "thoughtful" commentary with such illuminating turns of phrase as "sucks dogs balls", they're certainly worth deleting. After all, there are two words that describe such a person in the modern lexicon...Internet Troll.

you both make legitimate points on the qualifications of the abuser, and the ups and downs of learning the writing craft (especially erotic fiction). Hard as the diatribe was to take, keep in mind that he makes a telling point: each successive story is getting a lower score. All that means is that you have a choice: quit, or persevere and improve your craft.

I hate to hold up Samuelx as an example (I dislike his style, and the way he treats his subject matter), but when he started he got slammed worse than you. Check his author bio/submissions list and you'll see that he has over a thousand submissions -- he persevered (hate to say it: he DID improve, but I still don't like his style -- I only know this because I was away for a couple of years, and I was surprised to see he was still around).

So yeah, there's room for improvement. Maybe even a lot of improvement. But your author name is NOT on my 'skip list'; I'll still read your stuff. So keep trying to get better at this.

;-)

P.S. -- like your author avatar :-D

Similar criticism as before. An editor would help your work, but mainly you just need to practice your craft and keep posting. Not all stories need to be massive 5+ pages but 2/3 pages gives you enough space to establish a character & the sex scene.

This one started off well bit then jumped and that jump jarred with the earlier part. Wil still read your work as I think you have promise

Loved this one; I get turned on by teen girls dominating older women, both in life and in print.