No More Wasted Time

"I'd forgotten how good it could be," I said, finally rolling off of her and onto my back.

"Me too." Jess shifted next to me and laid her head on my shoulder. She also pulled up the blanket, leaving the sheet at the bottom of the bed. It wasn't in any shape to be useful.

"That was incredible," I said, feeling truly drained in a good way for the first time in forever. "You are incredible!"

"You're not so bad yourself," Jess replied groggily. I kissed the top of her head.

"Jess, I love you." That caused her to nuzzle deep into my shoulder and chest.

"You'd better," she threatened, making me smile despite my exhaustion. "Now go to sleep."

I was exhausted and completely spent to a degree I never imagined, yet despite that, I didn't fall asleep. It felt too good having Jess resting her head on my shoulder. I lay there for at least twenty minutes enjoying the reality of the moment far more than I had any day dream about her I used to imagine.

"You can't sleep?" I was surprised by Jess's question. I thought she'd passed out already. Maybe she's power napped. She did sound groggy.

"Not yet," I smiled, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

"Are you worried? You don't have to be." I had no idea what she was talking about as she lifted her head and looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come inside me, but I needed to feel truly wanted. It's been so long." I tried to respond, but she covered my lips with her fingers as her expression turned sad. "Robbie and I tried for children over a year and that was when I was a lot younger. I can't get pregnant, and even if I did by some miracle, I wouldn't make you..." I pushed her hand away from my mouth.

"Jess, what part of me saying I love you and plan on never leaving you again didn't you understand?" I asked, annoyed and more than a little hurt.

"Yes, but I shouldn't have..."

I silenced her with a kiss. She returned it quickly enough, but I could tell she still had some misgivings. I refused to accept that, so I rolled on top of her once more.

"What are you doing?" she moaned as I ran the head of my cock up and down her center once more. I was careful because I was betting she was a little sore by now, but that didn't stop her body from reacting. "I couldn't possible again! I'm completely spent." Her legs opened to me despite her words.

I kissed Jess deeply and continued to do so until her body responded the way I knew it would. I slowly worked my length inside of her. This time we moved more slowly, enjoying the feel of our bodies pressed against each other. Our lips remained locked together as we moved in sync. Our passion built as time passed, but neither of us quickened the pace. Still, there was only so long I could survive what we were doing without release.

"Jess, I'm close again." It was the first time our lips parted since I rolled on top of her once more. Hers looked swollen and chapped. I'm sure mine weren't in any better shape.

"Me too!" she gasped, our eyes locking together.

"I'm going to come inside you again." I wanted her to know it was my choice this time, that I wanted to give her what she obviously wanted, if humanly possible. To let her know what she meant to me. "I always did want more kids, and to have them with you..."

"I told you, I can't have kids!" she interjected as I continued to move in and out of her welcoming body.

"You don't really know if that's true." Poor Jess. She wanted what I was offering, but by the same token a part of her was so afraid; afraid how I'd react if she did become pregnant, afraid how I'd react if she didn't.

"But if it is?" she asked, watching me.

"Then we'll adopt if that's what you want." I paused to make sure she knew I meant it. "Jess, you're the love of my life and I will give you whatever you want as long as it's in my power. You have to believe that." Her expression turned warm.

A smart man would have stopped there, but whoever said I was smart? "But I'm still not sure you can't have kids so let's focus on thinking 'boy'. A son would be great!"

"I'm too old to have a child!" she moaned, but she also wrapped her legs around me once more, pulling me deep. "Besides, I always wanted a girl!"

"Boy!" I insisted, finally quickening the pace.

"Girl!" she retorted, scraping her nail down my back.

Jess and I were always the type of couple to disagree, sometime vehemently. That probably wasn't going to change any time soon. Then again, so much of the other stuff had changed that it didn't matter.

"Jess, I love you!" I groaned when my release was only moments away.

"Love. You. Too!" Jess cried out as her orgasm burst free. Mine followed and our bodies thrashed together until we were both completely spent. Jess had to help me roll off of her this time.

"You're going to kill me," I complained, feeling completely content for the first time in forever.

"You?" she moaned. "You know, I'm not as young as I once was."

"No one ever is." I laughed gently. "But you're even more beautiful than I remember, and the thought of spending the last couple of decades of my life with you gives my life a whole new meaning."

"Couple of decades?" she snorted. "Better make that a few, especially if by some miracle I do get pregnant. We wouldn't want our kid to lose their parents young."

"Yes dear." I grinned, but Jess didn't see the humor.

"Which means you'd better start taking care of yourself better," she continued. "You still in good shape for a man your age, but I saw all that red meat you ate for dinner at the wedding. You're going to have to cut down on that."

"Never in a million years," I retorted, laying on my back, pulling her head back onto my shoulder and wrapping my arm around her. I loved the feel of her body against mine.

"We'll see." It was so Jess that I couldn't help smile. It didn't hurt that she snuggled deeper into my shoulder as she said it. I was in such a good mood that I decided to let Jess have the last word. There would be plenty of time to continue the argument later.

We lay that for a few minutes as I felt her slowly drifting off. I knew it wouldn't be long before I joined her, but I was enjoying the moment too much not to fight sleep, at least a little bit. Sometime later, I kissed the back of Jess's head just before I felt myself slipping off.

"Jess, you have no idea what it means to me to have you back in my life." The words came unbidden. They were the most heartfelt I'd even spoken. I was surprised when she actually responded.

"You?" Jess said groggily. "As soon as I saw you at the wedding, I realized that I've been waiting for this moment for over twenty-five years. All that wasted time ..."

I knew what she meant. I couldn't regret the life I had, but that didn't mean I didn't regret all the time I lost that could have been spent with her.

"I promise," I said softly, meaning it with every ounce of my being. "No more wasted time." Jess sighed gently and fell back asleep.

*****

"Dad, Neil says the steaks are almost done and everything else is ready. How far out is Jessica?" Bethany glowed in the way pregnant women often did, despite her concerned expression.

It was a beautiful summer afternoon. My daughter was four months along with her first child and I was having a barbeque with my family. What more could a man ask for?

Bethany was finally starting to show. It never ceased to amaze me that my little girl was having a child of her own. A part of me wanted to argue that she was still too young, but Bethany and Neil had waited almost four years after getting married before deciding to start a family.

"Dad?" Bethany prompted when I didn't reply. I guess I'd been lost in thought longer than I realized.

"She should have been here ten minutes ago." I wasn't particularly worried. Jess was late to most things. It took some getting used to, but she was worth it.

"Mom is at the light on the corner." Maisie was looking down at her cell phone as she spoke. My soon to be adopted daughter was almost eleven and already a beauty. She was playing Kan Jam with her cousin Tommy Junior on the lawn.

"Thanks, little sis," Bethany sighed. I smiled at both my daughters. I was glad they took to each other as well as they did.

Jess and I got married at a justice of the peace about three months after we got back together. There didn't seem to be any reason to delay, and plenty not to. We were no spring chickens anymore, and Jess was the love of my life. That became more obvious with every day that passed. Besides, it wasn't like either of us wanted a big ceremony. It was the commitment to each other than mattered.

We researched the adoption process a couple of years later. Jess really wanted a little girl of her own. As it turned out, there were an awful lot of rules and restrictions, especially for a couple our age. The one way around most of them was to take an older child, but even then, it could take years and a lot of money. On the other hand, it only took us four months to become foster parents.

Jess was reluctant as first, but it didn't take a huge effort to convince her because she still wanted a daughter, and by that point having one naturally was out of the question. Our contact with the foster care system was a very helpful woman named Sunny who understood our plans to foster-to-adopt. I knew everything was going to be okay the moment Jess laid eyes on Maisie. It was love at first sight, for both of them.

Unfortunately, it took six months for Maisie to accept it. It was a tough half year, but after that, things settled down, mostly. I'm sure the unconditional love Jess poured on the kid helped.

Maisie was an easy child to love. She had her emotional issues from everything she'd been through, but then again, don't we all?

The legal issues with freeing her up so that she could officially become part of our family had finally resolved themselves a few months ago. The formal adoption was scheduled to be finalized by the end of the summer, but for all intents and purposes she'd been our daughter from the moment we laid eyes on her.

"She's adorable."

I turned and smiled at my ex who was sitting at the picnic table with Don. They still hadn't gotten married, but from what Bethany said, it was just a matter of semantics. I was happy for them.

"Thanks," I smiled in reply. Adrian being Adrian, couldn't leave it at that.

"I still think you're crazy for starting over, but to each their own."

I nodded in understanding. I wasn't sure Adrian and I would ever truly be friends, but now that we were divorced and had both moved on, it was possible. Crazier things had happened. It was also easy to see why we didn't work. We didn't want the same things out of life.

A lot of people thought Jess and I were crazy for starting over in our fifties, but it worked for us and we were both old enough not to worry all that much about what others thought.

"Here." My brother handed me a new beer as he plopped into the lawn chair next to me. "Neil is just finishing up at the barbeque."

"Good," his wife Emily interjected, pointedly eyeing his beer as she placed the salad on the table. "You could use some food in you." My sister, Mary, who'd been followed her with one of the side-dishes, grinned, but didn't comment. Smart woman.

Tommy looked at me and rolled his eyes. I fought hard not to laugh. It never paid to get on Emily's bad side, and she wasn't entirely wrong. Tommy wasn't drunk yet, but he was well on his way.

"Where's your better half?" I asked my sister, deciding the best bet was to change the subject.

"Bob isn't going to make it until after dinner. He had to go into the office."

"That man does not get the concept of weekends," my brother complained. Bob owned his own company and frequently put in long hours, but he somehow found time for Mary. He was good for my sister. I liked him, which was a good thing, since Jessica introduced them to each other. My wife was talking wedding bells for them already, but time would tell.

"Mom is here," Maisie interjected, looking at her phone once more. "She says she needs some help bringing the desserts in." She started walking toward the gate immediately. Tommy almost leapt off the lawn chair and quickly passed my daughter.

"Tell her we're on our way!" My brother had a big sweet tooth, especially when he was drinking.

"Do not eat any dessert on the way in!" Emily called after him, but I was betting it was a waste of time.

"I'll help, too." Tommy Junior quickly followed his father and cousin. He was no dummy. My brother would share whatever Jess let him take.

I was slower to get up from my lounge chair. In part because I'd had my fair share of beers, but mostly because I wasn't going to ruin my appetite with dessert. I was really looking forward to the steaks Neil was just finishing up. It wasn't like I didn't eat red meat anymore, but with Jess it wasn't very often.

"He really is just a big kid." I heard my niece Sarah sigh, as she also placed a dish of food on the table. I tried hard not to laugh. Tommy's younger daughter was just like her mother. His older daughter was more like him, but unfortunately, couldn't make it today. It was her father-in-law's birthday.

"He always was," Mary added with a grin. "It's one of his few redeeming qualities." My sister-in-law said something that was most likely unkind based on her facial expression, but I was out of earshot by that time.

I guess I was moving slower than I thought because they were all on their way back by the time I reached the gate. Tommy and Junior were carrying tinfoil covered plates, but both were also chewing what I was betting were pilfered oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was their second favorite of the desserts Jess made, right behind her apple pie.

I grinned when I saw my wife behind them carrying said apple pie, mostly likely protecting it from the 'Viking Horde'. That was what Emily called Tommy and Junior when they were in this mood.

The sight of Jess always made me happy. She saw me looking and smiled before stopping to hand me the apple pie, but not before giving me a quick kiss. The touch of her lips to mine still sent a thrill through me.

"You're late." I guess she took my comment as more of an observation than an accusation because Jess didn't bother responding. Either that or she decided a change of subject was a better way to go.

"Did you put lotion on Maisie? You know how quickly she burns." Our daughter was far lighter skinned than either of us, despite her dark hair and eyes. Her skin was very sensitive to the sun.

"Yes," I smiled, shaking my head. "Twice. Emily did it at least once more not long after we arrived, and I think Mary snuck Maisie into the house about a half hour ago and did it again. The poor thing looks pasty with all the lotion she's wearing." I was sure my wife had talked to both of her sisters-in-law when she realized I would be bringing Maisie to the party by myself.

"Better safe than sorry. We can't have her burn again."

"You know, you're going to have to forgive yourself for that eventually?" Masie got a bad sunburn not long after she joined us. Jess blamed herself. I got that. I also blamed myself. The only difference was that I forgave myself, eventually. "Lesson learned. Let it go."

"I know, I know, but I can still picture her..."

"Yeah, ain't parenthood a blast?" I teasingly interjected, making her smile. "Just wait! Masie's only a couple of years away from being teenager. That's when the real fun begins."

"Don't remind me." Jess laughed nervously as I pulled her into a second kiss with my free hand. Afterward, we both turned toward our daughter who was trailing the rest of the group because she was holding hands with Jake and leading him to the yard. Our son was three and adored his sister Masie.

I was surprised with how well she fell into the role of older sibling. Masie was good with Jake even during the initial six months when she wasn't all that sure of us. It didn't seem to bother her that he was our biological son. I was hoping that was because she realized we couldn't love her any more even if she shared the same genes as us, but time would tell.

"So, are you going to tell me where you were this morning?" I asked Jess as the kids passed us. It was more to distract me than anything else. I wanted to grab both kids and hug and kiss them, but they looked too cute to interrupt. I did lean down and plant a quick kiss on top of Jake's head as he went by since I hadn't seen him since earlier that morning.

"I took Jake to the doctor for a checkup." Jess was lovingly smiling down at our kids, which I enjoyed seeing, but I knew part of it was that she didn't want to look at me.

"You had the first appointment of the day. That means you stopped somewhere else afterward." I knew something was going on with Jess. It wasn't anything bad. She would have told me if it was, but she was definitely keeping something from me which wasn't like her.

"Later," she replied, quickening the pace. "Masie texted that the food was almost on the table. I didn't want to make Bethany mad at me." My older daughter and Jess had an interesting relationship. They got along pretty well, usually, but today Adrian was there, so that always made it a little stressful. Jess and Adrian were always polite to each other, but plain and simple, they'd never be friends.

I felt bad for Bethany because when we were all together that made it hard on her, but she was the one who invited us all. I guess she was hoping it would get easier with time. Weirder things had happened.

Jess grabbed Jake as she passed the kids and began carrying him. I did the same with Masie. My younger daughter rolled her eyes, but then started laughing. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was tickling her.

It had taken Masie a while to trust me enough to let me do something like that, and maybe it wouldn't last long since she was getting older so fast, but I was going to enjoy as many moments like it as I could pack into her life. Masie deserved to laugh.

We joined the others, putting the kids down once we were on the patio. Jess said her hellos, and I was about to drop back down in the lounge chair when my son-in-law came over from the barbeque carrying a full platter of steaks.

"All right everyone. It's time to eat! Find a seat." Neil was grinning as he plopped the steaks in the center of the table.

"You must be in Heaven," Jess said to me as we took our seats, knowing how much I enjoyed a good steak despite her best attempts to remove red meat from my diet.

"You have no idea," I retorted, but I was looking at her, not the steaks. Jess smiled and actually blushed, if only briefly. She knew what I meant.

"No PDAs!" Tommy interjected when he saw the way we were looking at each other, which was silly considering we had Jake sitting between us. He wasn't in a high chair anymore. Some days I missed it because like most three-year-olds, he refused to sit still. Masie was sitting with her cousins.

Still, my brother's teasing reminded me of the night of Bethany and Neil's wedding, when Jess and I reconnected. I'm pretty sure it was also the night Jess and I conceived Jake, which was another reason why we got married a few months later. We might have rushed the wedding with getting married at a justice of the peace and not having a big reception, but Jess hadn't wanted to look pregnant in our wedding photos.

The doctor made sure to let Jess and I know that the 'shop was closed 'after Jake was born. Our son was born healthy, but it took a lot out of Jess, and he didn't want us to try for another. Jess was disappointed, despite her age, but I refused to contemplate going against the doctor's orders. There was no way I would chance losing Jess. That's why, when I realized that she really did want more kids, we looked into adoption.