No More Wasted Time

"Yeah, it's the alcohol that's causing that." My brother comment was just a tad sarcastic. We all chose to ignore it. In my family, ignoring each other's teasing was a survival instinct. Tommy said his goodbyes, and then he and Emily drifted away leaving Jess and me alone. We stood there in silence, looking at each other for a few seconds.

"Okay, so this is awkward."

Jess wasn't wrong and I wracked my head for something to say. It should have been easy, but as it turned out, not so much. I guess it was because were alone for the first time. I was saved a moment later by the DJ. He put on a slow song.

"Let's dance."

"Are you sure that Adrian wouldn't consider that a PDA?" I couldn't tell if Jess was serious, having fun at my expense or just stalling.

"I'm willing to chance it." I pulled off my jacket for the first time all night and dropped it on the back of a nearby chair before taking her hand and pulling Jess onto the dance floor. She came into my arms willingly enough.

We moved together as if the years that passed since the last time we danced meant nothing. I loved the feel of Jess in my arms. That was never our issue. The connection between us was still there. It was more than there. It was visceral and real. That became obvious the longer we danced.

The music changed, but we stayed on the dance floor, moving together from song to song, each one making it harder and harder for me to keep my hands to myself. I had the feeling that Jess knew exactly what she was doing to me and was enjoying it almost as much as I was.

Thankfully, the last song finished and the wedding ended before I did something stupid. Well, not stupid, but definitely against the whole 'no PDA' thing.

"I haven't danced that much in a long time, and frankly, I can't believe it was with you at your daughter's wedding." Jess sounded more than a little amazed.

"You?" I snorted. "Earlier I was feeling like an old geezer, but right now I'm feeling better than I've felt in years. Just being here with you is like drinking from the fountain of youth or something."

"You're just horny," she laughed, surprising me. It's not like I'd forgotten how blunt Jess could be, but it was going to take some getting used to again.

"Well yes," I admitted. "But that's your fault, too." Jess rolled her eyes in that way I remembered. It was an odd mix of annoyance and amusement. It always made me grin.

"That's my cue to leave. It's been nice seeing you again Johnny." The thought of her leaving almost ruined my good mood, but then I remembered something.

"You need a ride home." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I can Uber it." Jess always was a stubborn girl.

"Don't be ridiculous," I snapped, perhaps a little too aggressively. She raised an eyebrow and I forced myself to calm down, or at least act calmer. "I'll give you a ride home. As I said, I'd like a chance to catch up." Jess didn't say anything. "Just give me a few minutes to wrap everything up here."

Again, no response. I wasn't sure if her silence meant agreement, indecision or that she just wasn't willing to discuss it any further and was going to leave the moment I turned my back.

"Wait for me." I started to leave, but couldn't resist turning back and adding in my best Liam Neeson accent, "If you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." It was a stupid thing to say and the accent was pretty bad. I can only blame it on nerves. Thankfully, Jess's reaction didn't disappoint.

"Good luck." The good news was that her response meant she got the movie reference and wasn't freaked out by the threat. Well, that and she had a surprisingly sexy eastern European accent. The bad news was that her response certainly didn't sound like an agreement to stay.

"I'm serious," I said, but then thought about it, grinned and clarified. "Not so much the killing, but definitely the looking and finding." Finally, she cracked a smile.

"I can't believe you still like to quote movies." Jess was clearly amused, which was a good sign.

"I can't believe you still always get the references," I retorted.

"Well, at least it's not from The Godfather." That made me laugh, bringing back some good memories.

"What? You want me to 'Make you an offer you can't refuse'?"

"And there it is," she sighed, sounding exasperated, but still looking entertained. We shared a briefly laugh.

"Actually, I stopped quoting movies a long time ago," I admitted afterword. "I guess you bring it out in me."

"Lucky me." I shook my head and almost laughed again at her monotone delivery. The last thing I wanted to do was end this conversation now, but the wedding was over and there were people I needed to see off.

"Look, I really do need to do a few things before I can leave. Please wait?" I saw her waffling, which is not exactly what I hoped for, but was a lot better than I feared. "Let me give you a ride home. We can stop for some coffee and dessert on the way home. We need to talk."

"Are you crazy? I may not eat for a week after this wedding! Besides, it's way too late for coffee." The sparkle in her eyes gave me hope, despite her words.

"Fine, then just a ride home." I stared into her eyes, willing her to accept my offer, but like I said earlier, Jess was always a stubborn girl.

"I live over an hour away."

"Perfect! That will give us time to catch up. I really am interested in learning more about you and your life." I hesitated, desperately trying to come up with something that would make her accept my offer. "I know you're interested in doing the same. After all, you did come to the wedding because you thought Bethany was my daughter."

"Maybe I've already learned everything I wanted to know."

Neither one of us believed that, but the question was, how could I make her see it? I decided to go for broke. I leaned toward Jess and stole a kiss. The look in her eyes was priceless, but she didn't pull away.

I instantly knew that the kiss was a mistake, but not because it scared her away. Jess returned my kiss with surprising passion. The sparks that had been flying between us ever since we first saw each other blossomed into a full-blown fire. I'd call it a damned inferno, but this was neither the time nor place.

"So much for your promise of no PDAs." Thankfully, the voice that interrupted us this time was my son-in-law Neil's, and not my daughter's, or worse, my ex-wife's. I pulled back reluctantly.

"I never promised, and even if I had, somethings can't be stopped."

"Not that you looked to be trying particularly hard." Neil seemed more amused than anything else, but I could tell he was also a little concerned about how Bethany make take what happened if she saw.

"A fair point," I admitted slowly. I didn't regret the kiss. I couldn't, but I didn't want to upset my daughter, or my ex for that matter.

"Bethany is looking for you," Neil said, letting the subject drop.

"I'll be right..."

"That was fighting dirty." Jess had finally recovered from the kiss and was looking at me, ignoring Neil. I could tell that she was really angry now, but that wasn't the only thing she was feeling.

"You didn't leave me a choice," I shrugged, still not feeling particularly guilty for the kiss. "I'll be back shortly. You can yell at me while I'm driving you home." I knew Jess might too, but I didn't care, just as long as she was with me.

I hadn't felt so alive in a long time, and there was no way this was going to be the end of it, of us. I'd made that mistake once. Never again.

"You might as well wait. It will be a lot cheaper than calling for a ride," Neil threw in, looking at me while talking to Jessica. "Plus, he'll just end up showing up at your doorstep anyway. There's no way he's going to let whatever this is go." He finally turned toward Jess and added, "I know that look in his eyes. I've seen it before."

"Me too," Jess agreed, not sounding particularly happy about it. "But I wasn't expecting this." She then paused before adding more softly, "I'm not ready for this."

"Sure you are," I disagreed. "You're just scared. Me too, but I'm not going to let fear rule me. Not this time." That obviously caught her interest, but now wasn't the time to explain.

"I need to get back to Bethany," Neil interjected, deciding it was time for him to disappear. He looked at me and added, "I'll stall as long as I can, but people are looking for you." I nodded in thanks and understanding as he slipped away.

"Here," I said, surprising Jess by putting the keys to my car in her hand. "Hold these. If you want, take my car home. We can talk when you return it." I paused before adding, "Or, you can wait and I'll give you a ride. It's your decision. I can live with whatever choice you make, just as long as we see each other again."

I turned and left before Jess could try and force my keys back on me. I also said a silent prayer that I wouldn't find her gone and my keys on the table when I returned.

The most frustrating part was that it took a lot longer than I expected to say goodbye and settle everything. Bethany and Neil left for their hotel not long after I joined them. Adrian and Don disappeared right afterward, but some people took a lot longer. My siblings helped me usher the last of the guests to the door for a while before saying their goodbyes.

Jess was gone by the time I returned, but at least my keys weren't on the table. That was a good sign, right?

The odd part was that my tux jacket was gone, too. I couldn't find it anywhere. I was hoping someone thought it was one of the groomsmen's and grabbed it. We all rented from the same place so as long as they returned it, it shouldn't be a big deal.

Worse case, I'd have to pay for. It wouldn't be cheap, but then again, nothing about the wedding had been. On the other hand, it seemed to go well. More to the point, Bethany was happy with the results.

I pulled out my phone to set up an Uber pickup as I walked out of the reception hall. That's when I bumped into my brother.

"There you are!" Tommy cried, sounding annoyed.

"What are you still doing here?" I didn't bother trying to keep the surprise from my voice. Instead of answering, he used his thumb to point to a bench off to one side. Emily was sitting there with Jess, who was wearing my tux jacket.

"Wipe that shit eating grin off your face!" my brother snapped. "I'm tired, but Emily refused to leave Jess out here by herself."

"I so owe your wife."

"Her?" my brother cried in exasperation. "What about me?" I ignored him and moved to the ladies.

"There you are." Emily repeated her husband's earlier words, but without the annoyance.

"Sorry, that took longer than I expected." I was talking to all of them, but looking at Jess as I said it.

"Can we go now? I'm tired." My brother was being awfully whiny, which wasn't typically like him.

"Please," Emily snorted, obviously amused. "Tired has got nothing to do with what you're feeling."

"Oh," I laughed, finally getting it. "Is Tommy junior staying at Emily's parents tonight?" My brother had three kids. One daughter was married and the other a freshman in college. They left about twenty minutes earlier.

Tommy's son was almost eight. My brother hadn't been thrilled with the idea of having a kid late in life, but he could never deny Emily anything she really wanted and at least he got his boy. They'd brought junior to the wedding ceremony, but sent him home with her parents before the reception.

"You got that right," my brother grinned. "Now if you and your girl would only stop cramping my style..."

"I am not his girl," Jess interjected, causing my brother to snort.

"Fine," he said, but then Tommy being Tommy, he had to add, "Thanksgiving is at our house this year. I'll expect one of your apple pies."

"Only you would remember that Jess's makes one of the best apple pies after all these years." Emily was looking at her husband, shaking her head.

"Are you kidding? I have dreams about her apple pie."

"You know, that could have a completely different meaning." Emily was giving her husband a pointed look. His reaction was so Tommy when he figured out what she meant.

"Please! I'll leave those types of dreams to my little brother. You're almost more woman than I can handle." Emily smiled, patting his cheek and gave him a quick kiss. "Just remember, I said almost."

"You two haven't changed at all, have you?" Jess's amusement was obvious.

"Sure, we have," my brother disagreed, but then turned to his wife and said, "Let's go! Your parents are coming to breakfast with the kids tomorrow. We're burning daylight!"

"Burning daylight?" Jess's confusion was understandable. After all, it was pitch black out.

"Old western quote. I'm surprised you didn't get it. He means that they only have a few hours left for his nefarious plans for Emily."

"Oh," Jess said, finally understanding and smiling.

"I told my parents and the girls to come over for dinner, not breakfast," Emily interjected with a sexy smile at her husband. His whoop of joy was pretty funny, but it didn't stop my sister-in-law from looking at me and adding, "Tommy's not the only one with nefarious plans for tonight."

"Sure, you two have changed loads," I snorted, causing her smile to turn to a grin.

Tommy and Emily said their goodbyes and left pretty quickly, which made sense, based on their plans for each other. I might have been jealous, but then again, Jess was still sitting on the bench with my keys in her hand and wearing my jacket.

"You waited." I didn't even try to hide my satisfaction.

"I figured I probably shouldn't drive. I'm not sure I'm sober enough." We both knew that was bull because we burned off most of the alcohol in our systems when we danced, but I didn't say that. Instead, I helped her up. Okay, so maybe I pulled her a lot closer than necessary while doing it.

"If you kiss me again, I will take a cab home." The panic in her eyes was somehow funny to me. I laughed and stepped back.

"They'll be plenty of time for that later."

"We are not kissing again!" Okay, so despite her waiting for me, Jess was obviously still coming to terms with what she was feeling. Me, not so much. I'd never felt so certain about anything in my life. Deep down, I was pretty sure she'd come to the same conclusion.

"Ever?" I asked, not able to stop myself from teasing her. For a second, I thought she was going to agree just to spite me, but then she relented.

"Not tonight." I heard the seriousness in her voice. It was obviously a stipulation she was putting on her acceptance of a ride home. "And based on how well you did with the whole PDA rule, I want your word this time."

"It would so not be a public display of affection," I grinned, stressing the word public. Jess blushed and shook her head. I think she was even a little amused, but that didn't make her back down from her demand. I nodded to myself. "But okay, I promise not to kiss you tonight. Although, I will accept any kisses you're willing to offer."

"Keep dreaming," she teased, relaxing slightly now that I'd promised. Jess knew I wasn't the type to break my word. Of course, I was pretty sure not doing so was going to take an awful lot of effort tonight.

"You have no idea." I'd been dreaming about kissing Jess again for a long time. Frankly, I'd always felt a little guilty about it. I'd never cheated on Adrian, but when things started going bad between us, I spent far too much time daydreaming about Jess. Of course, I never expected to actually see her again.

"I'm cold. Let's get going." Jess handed me the keys. I smiled and nodded at her change of subject. It was probably safer to allow it, not that I felt like playing it safe tonight. Still, I said nothing and led her to my car. We got in and out of the cold quickly.

Jess and I sat in silence as my car warmed up. It was like we didn't know where to start now that we were finally alone. There was a lot to say, but so much relied on how the conversation went that I think both of us were afraid to take the next step.

I pulled out of the parking lot as soon as the windows cleared and the car seemed warm enough. I was looking at Jess almost as much as I looked at the road, but still, I hesitated to speak. That didn't stop me from reaching out and taking her hand in mine. Thankfully, she didn't pull hers back. I glanced down at them and smiled.

"It's been well over twenty-five years since we've held hands, but it still feels so natural." It was meant as a simple observation, and maybe an ice breaker to slowly ease us into our talk. It didn't work out so well.

"And whose fault is that?" Her tone made it sound like a joke, but Jess wasn't smiling. She was always one to try and hide her emotions when she got upset. I was terrible at reading that about her when we were younger. It was one of the reasons why we used to fight so much, but I was no longer the naïve kid I was and I understood what she was really saying behind her attempt at humor.

In some ways it surprised me that she could get upset so quickly over something that happened decades ago. I hated making her unhappy, but I can't deny that it also made me feel good because it meant she still cared.

"My mother's." It wasn't just an attempt to lighten the mood, but I'm sure it seemed that way to Jess. She reacted as expected.

"Don't you dare try and blame your mother!" This time Jess did try and pull her hand free, but I was ready for it and refused to let go. "You dumped me!"

"I didn't dump you," I said seriously. "In fact, if I dumped anyone at the time it was Adrian. I was dating her when we bumped into each other. It was just after you graduated college. I wanted to go on a date with you so badly that I broke up with her, despite the fact that Adrian and I had been dating for over a year and a half."

"Two dates. That's all it took before you decided to go running back to her." I hated the pain I saw in Jess's eyes, but she had a right to it and I couldn't let it distract me from saying what needed to be said.

"Two dates, the second of which didn't go well." It really hadn't. I could still remember my disappointment afterward.

"And whose fault was that?" Jess asked again, only this time I had no argument.

"Mine," I admitted. "We went to Benny's party. You told me you needed to leave early because you had plans the next day, but I tried to convince you to stay when the time came to leave. You refused."

"And that was the last time we talked." Jess was shaking her head.

"I had to make a choice, the hardest in my life. In retrospect, it was probably the wrong one, but..." I didn't get any further before she interrupted me. This conversion was so not going the way I'd hoped. Everything had seemed to so perfect when we'd been dancing. This was different, harder.

"Probably?" Jess interjected, her annoyance obvious.

"Only because of Bethany." It was the God's honest truth. I couldn't regret my marriage to Adrian because it gave me my daughter. It also made me the man I was today, for better or worse, but I wasn't going to say that.

"Okay," Jess said more calmly. "I get that."

"But just so you know, part of what happened between us really was my mother's fault," I couldn't help adding, smiling without humor. This time Jess shook her head.

"How do you figure?"

"You and I always had a volatile relationship," I explained. "We fought all the time, and let's just say that I was no fun to be around every time that happened. I was downright miserable when I went off to college and we broke-up the first time."

"And whose fault was that?" she asked for a third time. I was really starting to hate that question.

"You broke up with me." It was the wrong thing to say and I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth. I also knew what caused it. It was the thought of reliving this memory again. It was bad enough when I replayed it in my head, but this time I'd have to do it out loud with Jess.