Notes From The Underground

However at that moment Phoebe walked into the room and said "Erin? Is that you?"

"I'm afraid so" said Erin getting up and greeting Phoebe. After a few hugs and the usual pleasantries, Phoebe grabbed a tray of food from the wall dispenser and sat down across from Erin.

"Kelly and Stacy told me that you have seen Kathryn and the others" said Erin.

"Yes" said Phoebe. "In fact, I just came from there now."

"How are they?" said Erin.

"Well enough, I guess" said Phoebe looking at Stacy and Kelly.

"What does that mean?" said Erin.

Suddenly the room was quiet and Kelly and Stacy looked down at their hands on the table.

"I guess you haven't told her…" said Phoebe looking at the reticent pair.

"Told me what?" said Erin.

Kelly looked up and said "We were just about to when you walked in." Looking at Erin, she continued "I'm afraid you're not going to like this."

"What else is new?" said Erin sarcastically. "What's going on with Kathryn and the others?"

"It's Katrina" began Stacy. "She took Kathryn and…used her"

"That's not particularly surprising, even if unfortunate" said Erin. "Surely this can't be…"

"She's apparently been using Diana for years" said Stacy, "and the word is, she's developed a special…well…liking for her."

"So?" Erin said still not understanding. "It would make sense that she would like Kathryn then. I still don't see…"

"She likes them both" said Phoebe "together."

"What?" said Erin at first failing to understand what Phoebe had said. However a few seconds later the look of confusion on her face was replaced by shock. "No!" said Erin. "You don't mean…"

Kelly, Stacy, and Phoebe looked at her, nodding their heads. "Yes" said Kelly "she uses them together."

"And if that's not bad enough" said Phoebe "Zax plans to do the same with the other three."

Erin gasped, her face turning white. "Oh god no!" she said "Oh god no!"

"I'm afraid god has very little to do with this" said Stacy.

But Erin didn't hear her, for she had wrapped her arms around her head, covering her ears, and slowly she placed her forehead on the table.

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The revelation changed Erin. Looking back, Erin knew it was naïve stupidity on her part. It made sense that once enslaved in Zax's dungeon, Kathryn and the others would sooner or later be called to service alongside their mothers. The mathematics of their small numbers and Zax's busy Dungeon calendar made this a virtual certainty. Erin had realized this intuitively, even if she had not consciously acknowledged it. What had not occurred to her was the fact, that Zax would extend these pairings beyond mere obligatory service and into uninhibited mother-daughter incest. Katrina and Prudence had probably intended this from the very beginning, almost two decades ago and the thought made Erin sick. She had not only lost her own personal gamble, but in doing so, she had condemned not only Kelly, Stacy, and herself to diapered slavery, but Kathryn, Karolyn, Krystal, and Krystyn to a lifetime of torturous incest. Erin spent the next several days wracked by guilt and anger. She blamed herself for the current situation, reliving her past decisions over and over again in the blinding light of hindsight. Cathy had been right! She had been stubborn and obsessed to the point of recklessness and she had ignored her responsibilities to the women who followed her and those she had sought to save.

As Erin retreated into this world of self-recrimination and self-pity, Kelly and Stacy tried to console her, but she would hear none of their excuses. After a day or so, she could no longer bare their company, and for the most part she stayed in her cell alone. The only good news was that for the time being, Zax was leaving them alone. Of course, that wouldn't last for long Erin knew, but she was too troubled with the past to worry about the future. As the days went by, guilt and anger gave way to a profound depression and a fatalistic and apathetic resignation. Erin seclude herself in her cell, ate little, and said even less.

"What's do you think is wrong with her?" said Kelly.

"I'm not sure" said Stacy "but she's clearly depressed."

Kelly nodded. "I feel so helpless. I wish there was something we could do."

"Hmm" said Stacy. "One things for sure, if she keeps loosing weight, Laura is bound to take notice. I'm surprised she hasn't already."

"True" Kelly said. "Maybe that might not be such a bad thing."

Stacy looked at Kelly but remained silent. They had seen very little of Erin and were therefore surprised when a few minutes later she walked into the rec-room, and taking a tray of food from the wall dispenser unit, she sat down alone at a table on the other side of the room. Both women watched as she picked at her food in silence, head down.

For Erin, it seemed as if she was moving though a thick grey fog. Hours and days passed, but nothing changed or happened. Her life was a timeless and reference-less series of routine events that repeated over and over, going nowhere. She ignored Kelly and Stacy; aware of her friends concern and their wish to help. But what assistance could they offer? Although their compassion tugged at the fringes of what remained of her tattered emotions, she pushed these feelings aside. In fact, their presence irritated her. Out of the corners of her eyes, she could see them as they periodically glanced at her, talking in hushed whispers, no doubt, about her. What did they expect anyways? Yes, she had messed-up and badly, for sure. But Kelly and Stacy's seemingly causal acceptance of their fate and the fate of Kathryn and the others suddenly made her angry. What were they doing about it? Nothing! Yet they expected something more from her. Suddenly furious, Erin stood up and picking up her tray and threw it across the room. "Damn you!" she said, running out of the room.

Kelly and Stacy half rose looking at each other. "What was that all about?" said Stacy.

"I don't know" said Kelly, but perhaps we should find out."

However Stacy grabbed her arm before she could move and said "I think it might be best to leave her alone, at least for now. Sooner or later, she's bound to come around."

"I hope so" said Kelly skeptically, but she sat down.

Outside the rec-room, Erin stormed down the red-lit corridors of the Dungeon. The diapers made walking fast awkward, but Erin was too upset to notice. When she arrived at her cell, she threw her body at the small cot, bouncing slightly as the tick diapers absorbed most of the shock of her rough landing. The exercise from the rapid walk had left her breathing hard and sweating, but it had also calmed her, and as Erin's mind cleared, the fog that had surrounded her for the last several days also seemed to lift as well. She had been a fool, again. Wallowing in self-pity and guilt had not accomplished anything but waste time. Whatever the past, she could not change it. Instead, she would have to focus on the future (no mater how bleak), and the limited options still available to her. Pushing her emotions aside, Erin's thoughts once again turned towards examining her alternatives. Escape was impossible, resistance futile, and outside-assistance unattainable. OK, fine. So what else could she do? Think. Use the brain for its intended purpose for once. Well, so she knew what wouldn't work; good. Perhaps it was time to examine the matter from a different angle. Up to now she had been focusing on what Zax could do: escape was impossible because Zax had put them on an island and implanted tracking devices in their bodies; resistance was futile because Zax had removed everything and anything that could be used as a weapon and had the power to punish them into compliance; assistance was unobtainable because Zax had isolated them in the Dungeon cutting off all access to the outside world. So what hadn't Zax done? Or more to the point, what couldn't Zax do?

Erin pondered this for a moment. Well she thought, one thing Zax couldn't do was physical harm them, at least to the point of killing or driving them insane. That was illegal. Zax also couldn't (or rather wouldn't) sell, permanently isolate, or otherwise dispose of them; they were simply too economically valuable. Even for an organization as wealthy and powerful as Zax, the loss of even a single diapered slave would be a major catastrophe. Erin paused, thinking about this last point. Despite their lowly social status and lack of control over their lives, they were valuable; perhaps the most valuable women on the planet. It was ironic to think that in some ways she, Erin, a diapered slave, was more important that Katrina (arguably one of the richest and most influential women on Earth). If fact, if push came to shove…Erin smiled; although such thoughts were amusing, they were also leading her astray. Best to say focused. OK, they were valuable, and more importantly they knew they were valuable. So how could she use this fact against Zax? Well, if Zax were to loose one or more of them, or more to the point, if Zax were to be threatened with such a loss that would certainly give them a powerful weapon to wield against Prudence and Katrina.

Outside, when she was free and head of Varinia, Erin had done pretty much that: threatened Zax with the loss of their diapered slaves. Apparently she had been successful too, thought Erin grimly, since Zax had found it necessary to destroy Varinia. Inside, Erin's options were much more limited. Still, their value was the key, she was convinced of that. The question was: how to exploit it? Getting up, Erin started pacing her cell, thinking excitedly and rapidly. This new realization represented a paradigm-shift in her thinking. However Erin quickly recognized that she should share her ideas with Stacy and Kelly. Together, they might come up with something workable. Moving to the door, Erin walked back to the rec-room still pondering the mater. When she got there, Kelly and Stacy were still seated in the same place, and Phoebe had joined them. All three women looked up as Erin entered the room. To their surprise, Erin walked over to where they were and sat down.

"We were just talking about you" said Phoebe.

"Yes, I suppose you were" said Erin matter-of-factly. "I guess I owe you all an apology."

Kelly and Stacy looked at Erin, their mouths open in surprise. Erin's sudden change in mood was dramatic to the point of being miraculous. It was as if, she had risen from the dead, and it took several minutes before either woman could recover sufficiently to speak. "It's alright" said Kelly. "I'm just happy to see that you are feeling better."

"Yes, me too" seconded Stacy.

"So what happened?" said Phoebe.

"I've been thinking" said Erin.

Kelly and Stacy looked at each other and then back at Erin. "Thinking?" said Stacy.

"Yes. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life sitting around in this damn dungeon submitting to Laura and Alex and meekly serving Prudence, Katrina, and Zax."

"Oh?" said Phoebe. "And exactly what do you plan on doing?"

"I'm not exactly sure yet, but I have the beginnings of an idea."

"Surely you aren't thinking of trying to escape? You know we would never even get outside the Dungeon little lone off the Island" said Kelly.

"Yes" agreed Stacy "and we can't expect to get any help either.'

"That's correct" said Erin. "I've already ruled out escape and outside assistance as realistic or practical options."

"You can't be thinking or resisting either, I hope" said Phoebe. "There are no practical weapons and in any event, Zax would punish all of us into mindless submission for even thinking about it."

"Correct again" said Erin.

"What can we possibly do then? Stacy said. "You've ruled everything out."

"Not quite" said Erin.

"What then?" Kelly said.

"What's the one thing we have, the one thing that Zax can't ever take away from us? Erin said.

Kelly and Stacy looked at each other and then Phoebe again. "I don't know…" said Kelly dumbfounded.

"Our value" said Erin. "We're valuable. Zax can't take that away from us, ever. In a very real sense, it's the very essence of what we are."

"OK, so we're valuable, or at least you are" said Phoebe. "We already knew that. So how does that help you?"

"What do you do when you own something valuable?" said Erin.

"Keep it safe?" said Kelly.

"Exactly" said Erin.

"Yes by locking it away in a safe place, like a dungeon" said Phoebe sarcastically.

"Yes, that's one way. But more to the point, is why keep it safe?" said Erin.

"So it won't get lost or damaged, obviously" said Kelly.

"Yes. But why else?" said Erin.

"So someone else won't take it away" said Stacy, beginning to catch on.

"Precisely" said Erin. "But even more to the point, or more fundamentally, so you won't be threatened by its loss whether intentional or accidental."

"I see…" began Stacy. "We can use our valuable-ness to threaten Zax."

"Yes, exactly" said Erin.

"And how, do you plan to do that?" asked Phoebe.

"That's the question, isn't it?" Erin said.

"I still don't understand" said Kelly. "OK so we're valuable. I get that. But how can we as slaves, threaten Zax?"

"How indeed?" said Erin.

The four women were silent for a moment. Kelly was still perplexed and Phoebe looked skeptical, however Stacy remained pensive, pondering Erin's question.

"Well we could threaten to destroy…" began Stacy.

But Phoebe cut her off saying "Are you crazy? Do you realize what you are saying?"

The four women looked at each other and Phoebe stood up, throwing her arms in the air. "I'll have no part of this!" More out of frustration than for any other reason, Phoebe walked over to the food dispensers on the far wall and obtained a meal for herself. Picking up the tray of hot food, she went back to the table and sat down. Toying with her food, she said "Listen Erin, I understand your desire to do something, anything, but this is dangerous talk. If Laura even thinks you're serious she'll…she'll…"

"What?" Erin said. "Punish me? OK, but she can't do that forever. Confine me? She can't keep doing that either. Remember I'm valuable. If she does that, Zax won't be able to utilize me, and that's the very reason they bought me in the first place. If they can't use me, then I'm no longer of value to them, and it's the same with the rest of you."

"That may be true Erin" said Phoebe, "but you are playing a very dangerous game. Zax can be very patient when it has too and it has lots of ways to persuade you into doing what it wants."

"True" said Kelly, glumly.

"Yes" agreed Stacy, "besides if we threaten to destroy ourselves….I…can't…" But she stopped, the thought was too terrible to seriously consider further.

"Hmm" said Erin. Phoebe and Stacy were correct. This was a serious matter: deadly serious. Still…what were the alternatives? Erin started pondering the matter again as the four women sat silently, thinking. Across from her, Erin watched as Phoebe idly toyed with her food.

"Even if we wanted to…well you know…harm ourselves, how would we go about doing it?" said Stacy.

"Yes" said Kelly. "How would we? There's nothing in the Dungeon that we could use."

"True enough" said Erin. And it was. Anything that could even remotely be used as a weapon was kept secured and it would be impossible to breach that security.

"We might try the Dungeon infirmary" said Stacy. "There's bound to be drugs and equipment that we might use."

"Possible" said Erin, "but very unlikely. It's kept just as secure as everywhere else."

"Maybe one of use could feign sickness or have some minor injury, a scraped knee or twisted ankle" ventured Kelly enthusiastically.

"That might get you in" said Phoebe, taking a bite of her food, "but you'd be with the medtech, and most likely one of Alex's staff the whole time. It's hard to believe that you could find, little lone take, anything even remotely suited to your purposes under those circumstance."

"I guess so" said Kelly, obviously deflated.

The four women continued to mull over the possibilities as Erin watched Phoebe pick through her food. Finding ways of harming themselves or each other was proving to be almost as difficult as effectively planning an escape. Still, Erin knew they were onto something. The problem was, as usual, discovering a practical and workable way of accomplishing their goals. After a while conversation stopped as everyone in the small group ran out of ideas. We're looking at this the wrong way again, thought Erin. Perhaps it was best to let the matter rest for awhile. Looking up, Erin realized that watching Phoebe eat, had made her hungry. She hadn't eaten much in the last week or so, and she could feel her stomach growling. Standing up she said "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but watching Phoebe here eat, has made me hungry. Shall we get something to eat?"

"Yes, why not" said Kelly. Then pointing a Phoebe's tray she continued "I sure wish we have what she's eating. I'm so tired of corn-whatever."

"Yes!" agreed Stacy "me too!"

However Kelly's words made Erin freeze, as if she had suddenly turned into a stature of herself. "Wait!" said Erin "that's it. The answerer has been literally right in front of us all this time; right under our noses so to speak."

"What are you talking about?" said Kelly

"The food" said Erin pointing at Phoebe's tray. "We can eat the food."

Stacy and Kelly looked at each other their eyes wide with shock. Erin's idea was both as horrible as it was elegant. By purging their digestive tracts and keeping them on special diets, Zax had destroyed the natural bacteria that were required for digesting normal food. If they were to eat anything other than the food allowed them, they would not be able to digest it. It would be like eating poison.

"The question is, will it be enough" said Erin.

Phoebe was also shocked by Erin's idea and she dropped her eating utensils. "Oh no!" she said "I told you, I won't have any part in this."

It was at that moment that Laura walked into the room. "On your feet sluts, all of you!" she barked. Looking at Erin she continued "You've been idle too long. Ready yourself for service immediately."

Erin looked up at Laura as if in a daze. She had come at an awkward moment just as Erin had found the solution to their problem! Laura's sudden and unexpected appearance and her barking words interrupted the elation of that discovery. As if being tugged simultaneously in opposite directions, Erin's mind froze and she stared blankly at Laura.

"What are you waiting for slut? Move!" said Laura.

Erin blinked and then looked at Kelly. The two women made eye contact and Kelly could see instantly what Erin was thinking. "No, Erin don't!" screamed Kelly, but it was too late, for Erin had already acted on her idea.

Before anyone in the room could react, Erin threw herself across the table and grabbing a large handful of the food on Phoebe's plate, stuffed it into her mouth, and swallowed. The food tasted delicious and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Initially, Erin felt nothing, except the warm sensation of the hot food entering her stomach. She had not eaten more than a bite in days, and her stomach was empty, so the food felt as good as it tasted. For weeks she had eaten nothing but various corn-based dishes; the food on Phoebe's tray tasted like gourmet fare in comparison, and Erin savored the sensation. However a moment later, she felt a hard knot forming in her belly. Her empty stomach had immediately started digesting the food, passing it into her intestines; her bacteria-free intestines. Unable to cope, her digestive system reacted immediately and defensively to eliminate what it considered harmful and dangerous. Almost instantly severe cramps spread over her entire abdomen, and Erin reflexively curled herself into a ball and moaned. That's when time started again.