Notes From The Underground

"Stop her!" Laura shouted rushing to the table. Kelly, Stacy, and Phoebe, tugged at Erin trying to straighten her body out on the table.

"Erin!" shouted Kelly. "Erin!"

"Move aside" commanded Laura pushing her way to the front of the table and grabbing Erin's head.

Erin looked up at her, though a haze of pain, her eyes watery and glazed. Laura's face appeared fuzzy and her expression was serious and concerned. Erin was surprised for a moment then despite the pain, she managed a smile. However before she could speak, a spasm of cramps convulsed her body, and Erin moaned again in pain. Laura's face seemed to spin about her turning red as it faded into a hot haze of pain. And then, suddenly everything went mercifully black.

***************************************************************************************************************

Much to her surprise, upon opening her eyes, she saw Katrina's face, looming large; its expression grave, but calm, as she watched and waited patiently. Erin blinked and rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands as she tried to clear her mind and remember where she was and why.

"That was very foolish of you" said Katrina, matter-of-factly. "And pointless too, I should add."

As Katrina's face receded from view, Erin pushed herself up using her forearms. She was lying in bed, a white sheet and blanket covering her otherwise naked body. Looking around she realized that she was in the Dungeon infirmary. Behind Katrina, an anxious Echo stood watching her, lines of concern on her face. Erin sighed, remembering what had happened. She had not known whether the food would actually kill her and obviously it hadn't. Laura's quick reaction had probably precluded such an outcome. However, it didn't really matter since she had proved her point, despite Katrina's statement to the contrary. More importantly she now had a tested weapon to threaten Zax with, one that could not be taken away. Katrina's presence in the infirmary validated that.

"I think not" said Erin. "I can do it again."

"No" said Katrina. "More to the point, you won't."

Erin scoffed and said "And why not?"

"Because ultimately, you don't want to" replied Katrina.

Erin was surprised by Katrina's remark but she said "You're crazy." However there was uncertainly in her tone since she knew that, whatever else she thought about Katrina, the woman was anything but crazy. Worse, Katrina was not given to unsupported remarks, and this also troubled Erin.

"I think not" replied Katrina matter-of-factly.

"And why not?" said Erin.

"The very fact that you are here proves it" said Katrina.

Erin looked at her confused. "Just because I survived…"

But Katrina cut her off, laughing. "Don't be so obtuse my dear. Not here in the infirmary, here again in the Dungeon."

Erin blinked, taken aback, but Katrina continued. "You were a free woman, yet you chose to give up that freedom to be a slave again."

"I didn't choose to give it up" said Erin angrily.

Katrina smiled and said "Didn't you?"

"You are crazy" said Erin.

"Hardly, but that's beside the point and a distraction from the issue at hand. "

"If you think that I actually wanted to get caught, so I could return here and be a diapered slave again for the rest of my life, then what else would you called it besides crazy?"

"Engineering" said Katrina.

"What?" said Erin dumbfounded.

"More precisely, the Venkatesan Modification."

"The Venkatesan Modification is a sub-conscious reinforcement to insure compliance with the law, not an inducement to break it" replied Erin.

"True enough" said Katrina, "but you miss the point again."

"How so?"

Katrina sighed and said "For the vast majority of women, what you say is true. The Venkatesan Modification as applied to the so called average woman acts, by-and-large as a deterrent to crime, as intended. But the 'average' or (more precisely) the statistical norm is not where the problems lie. Like all good engineers, Nina Venkatesan knew this well. The problems are always in the tails of the statistical bell-curve, or more colloquially with the exceptions."

Erin looked at Katrina, but remained silent.

"Even before the New Social Contract and the Servitude Laws, the vast majority of people, for the most part, always obeyed the law. In more primitive times, of course, poverty and other social problems were the chief, but not exclusive, cause of lawlessness. Once these causes were removed however, crime still persisted, albeit at a much lower level."

"Hence the Venkatesan Modification" said Erin.

"Yes, it reduces, but does not completely eliminate the problem" said Katrina. "Even with the Venkatesan Modification it's impossible to eliminate all anti-social behavior; worse still is the fact that although their numbers are very small, the 'exceptions' tend to be extreme sociopaths: revolutionaries, mass murders, and the like."

"That's why the Servitude Laws exist" said Erin. "This is all common knowledge. I fail to see what this has to do with me."

"Consider" said Katrina "what exactly is anti-social behavior? Our engineers and the best and brightest among us debated this for decades. In the end, what they discovered was that anti-social behavior is not a genetic trait per se but rather a definition."

"I don't understand" said Erin blinking.

"What is the difference between a genius and a sociopath? In both cases, such individuals are typically callous, impulsive, egotistical, irresponsible, and the like. In the case of the genius we tolerate this behavior and even exult the individual for her achievements because we as a society find them useful. With the sociopath her 'achievements' are not seen as socially beneficial and instead of being honored, she is punished. However what is beneficial and what is not is purely a matter of perspective or if you will definition."

"But surely…" began Erin.

However Katrina cut her off, waving her hand. "There are no buts. The human genome is complex as well as twisted and highly intertwined. You cannot simply alter some part of it without causing other, usually undesirable, changes elsewhere. Engineers have a term for this; it's called a trade-off. Think of a piece of metal. You want to make it lighter, so you modify its molecular structure. The result is lighter but softer. If you change it again to compensate and make it harder, it becomes brittle. Try and make it flexible again and the metal becomes weak, and so on. The human genome is infinitely more complex than a metal, and as such, so are the trade-offs."

"But if what you say is true, then the Venkatesan Modification is pointless." Erin said.

"Quite the contrary my dear" said Katrina. "The genius Nina Venkatesan's Modification is that is side-steps all these problems. By linking sexual arousal and with society's definition of anti-social behavior, compliance with the law becomes a matter of conditioning, as Echo here can tell you. Geniuses and sociopaths and everyone in between fall under the same rubric and the problem resolves itself."

"But surely the Venkatesan Modification had its own side-effects or trade-offs, as you call them."

"True" said Katrina "but these tend to be minor or relatively unimportant since the genome is modified for behavioral response instead of behavioral change. Self-esteem, sexual inhibition, confidence, and the like are diminished; but import traits like creativity, intelligence, and drive are largely unaffected."

"Even if what you say is true, "I still fail see what this has to do with me" Erin said.

Katrina smiled again and said "Don't you? It's all so simple; call it one of the trade-off's if you wish. For those of us who are in the tail of the bell-curve, the level of our desires is matched to the level of our ambitions."

Erin was stunned; it was as if Katrina had thrown a bucket of ice-water over her head. "No! Surely…"

Katrina smiled and said "We are very much alike, my dear, more than you wish to admit."

"I'm nothing like you!" said Erin angrily.

"Aren't you?" replied Katrina. "We are like two women standing face to face on an island. Even though we are looking in opposite directions, we still see the same ocean of desire and ambition."

"No!" said Erin again, but even though her tone was hostile, it lacked confidence. Katrina's words had the unmistakable ring of truth.

"We both exist in the tails of the distribution" said Katrina "the only difference is, you are in the opposite one. Your denial of this fact is futile, not to mention useless."

"I will never serve you or Zax, no matter what you say" said Erin. However even as she stated her defiance, she could hear the hollowness of her statement.

"You are as much a part of Zax as I am" said Katrina shaking her head. "Zax was created for all of society's exceptions: both its leaders and its revolutionaries. It is as necessary as the air we breathe, a sort of safety-valve for superior desire so that it can be harmlessly released without causing the disruptions and problems so prevalent in the past. This is the reason why Zax exists; it is a necessity, not an indulgence."

"No…" began Erin again, but her mind was spinning with Katrina's words: 'this is the reason why Zax exits; for both leaders and revolutionaries'. As Erin fought to find a rebuttal to Katrina's argument, its truth became even more apparent. It explained so much…Could it really be true? Did she really belong here? Worse did she actually want to be here, as Katrina suggested? "No! You are trying to poison my mind, just as you poison us with the food we eat. I know that there is something in the food we are forced to eat that increases our desire; it's artificial, not like you say at all!"

Katrina threw her head back and laughed as both Erin and Echo looked on, astonished. When she stopped, she said "You are always looking in the wrong place, my dear. There is nothing in the food. There is no need, for the desire is within you, its built-in. It needs no external reinforcement. When you understand this, you will then be able to fully appreciate the Venkatesan Modification and all its profound and wonderful implications."

"I don't believe you" said Erin. But it was herself that she did not believe. Confronted with the truth, Erin felt cornered; it was easier to deny the truth than accept the implications of its awful reality.

"You don't have to" replied Katrina. "You need only examine your own desire."

Erin looked at Katrina in a daze as she tried to cope with the internal struggle within her mind. Glancing at Echo she noticed a stack of heavy diapers, on a small table, near the door where she stood. A twinge of pleasure went through Erin's pussy and she could feel her nipples hardening. Oh god, no! It can't be!

"I've talked with both Echo and Cathy" continued Katrina. "Both have told me about your 'Ranch" and what went on there: the orgies, the promiscuity, and other non-conventional activities. Although a bit tamer perhaps, it's not unlike the things that happen at Zax. Echo tells me this is a manifestation of your sub-conscious desires to be a slave again. But no matter, whether or not you wish a technical explanation, if you are honest with yourself, you will surely have to admit to this truth."

Erin's face went pale as her mind's resistance collapsed against the weight of the evidence against her faltering denial. Katrina's words penetrated her mind and her soul. The desire was there and had been all along, she could not deny it; the sight of the diapers and the thought of sitting in her own mess sent tingles of pleasure though her pussy and her body, making her shudder.

"I can see from your reaction, that you understand" said Katrina. "In the end, of course, it doesn't matter. The outcome is inevitable, for you cannot deny your own desires."

Erin's face flushed and she whispered "Oh god, please, no!" But she could feel the desire in her mind and body; it was unmistakable and denial was impossible. It was true: she had wanted to come back all along, to Zax Island and to the Dungeon, to be a slave. A sense of relief and peace suddenly swept though Erin's mind. "Please…" she said.

"You are very lucky my dear" continued Katrina. "Few women ever really understand themselves, and even fewer get to live out their desires. Consider yourself among the fortunate few." Looking at Echo, Katrina nodded, and Echo opened to door. Outside Laura turned and, looking at Katrina said "Yes Mistress?"

Nodding at Erin, Katrina said "Take her and give her a pussy whipping and then diaper her. I'll be wanting to use her next week."

With that, Katrina, turned to leave the room. However, before she could go, Erin rushed out of bed and knelt in front of her, and taking her hand, she kissed it. "Mistress" she said.

Katrina patted Erin head and said, "I know my dear." With that she turned and walked out of the room.

"Let's go slut" said Laura.

Erin stood and followed Laura out of the room and into the familiar red-lit, black-stone corridors of the Dungeon. Echo followed quickly behind, watching Erin, a surprised expression on her face.

'Why did you do that?" she asked, catching up with Erin.

Erin paused for a moment and blushed. Her pisshonie was tingling as she thought about what awaited her. "Because" she said, "for the first time in my life, I am truly happy." And with that, she turned and followed Laura.

Epilogue

The petite young woman sat alone in her darkened room, surrounded by a clutter of symbols, an external manifestation of her ideas and thoughts. To the untrained observer, it looked like so much gibberish and nonsense, like a child's first scribblings as she struggled to learn her letters. However, a second examination would show that this first impression was too hasty, for there was an unmistakable order in the symbols, a neatness in their execution and layout that betrayed meaning, even if it was indecipherable to the uninitiated eye. The young women moved her hands slightly and the symbols changed, rearranging themselves into new patterns. Nodding, she sat back in her chair and sighed, satisfied with the results. She would present them tomorrow at the seminar. The fact that this meeting would be attended by only a handful of mostly older women did not bother her in the least. There were only a few women who would understand her results anyways and it would be pointless, as well as a distraction, to include other, less well…informed individuals.

Closing her eyes, she rubbed the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb, relieving the pressure in the sinuses under her eye sockets. The equations were beautiful and elegant and they spoke of wondrous and perhaps magical ideas and truths. How unlike the woman around her! They seldom spoke the truth, at least not directly, and instead of beauty, elegance, and magic, there was more often than not, ugliness, shabbiness, and pettiness. She had learned this the hard way. Her teachers had been liars, her mother had betrayed her (and others), and the few friends she had managed to make had proved to be jealous opportunists. She had abandoned them all. Her brilliance had set her apart from her first days at the University. Within two years she had become a full professor, outpacing her peers by years, then decades. Those had been turbulent times filled with both the excitement of new ideas and the disappointment of failed relationships. Now, still a young woman, she had leaned her lessons well; the simpler lessons of mathematics and the infinitely more complex lessons of life. Both served her well.

As a full professor she used her position to insulate herself from others. The title itself meant nothing to her; she placed little value in such external things. Her mother of course, had contacted her when it had been awarded, but she had ignored her as well as her proffered complements. Others had called too: her former Headmistress, various friends, and even strangely Katrina Felttle, the head of Blue Onyx! She had ignored these women too, with perhaps the exception of Katrina. Not that she was impressed by the woman or her obvious power. Rather it was her tone, more than anything else. Although their conversation was brief, it conveyed ideas that belied its short length. Talking to Katrina had been like talking to an older sister, or perhaps a wiser, more experienced version of herself. A kindred mind, both intelligent and cool, and more importantly, keenly interested in facts and the manipulation of information. She had found the conversation refreshing and stimulating, despite its brevity. She would make a good mathematician, the young woman thought. Perhaps, Katrina had missed her calling.

"A great achievement" said Katrina.

"Yes, thank you."

"If in the future, you grow…bored, please feel free to contact me."

"I will".

"Good. And remember, superior achievement, is driven by superior desire…and ambition. When you are ready, great things await."

"Thanks."

Katrina nodded and her image vanished. But her words remained: superior achievement, is driven by superior desire…and ambition. She had thought about those words often. They were neat and concise, like her equations, and more importantly they contained hidden layers of meaning waiting to be discovered. Desire. She had her share of that! And not just for math. Her equations seemed to drive her physical desire as well. Masturbation was something she practiced nightly, sometimes even during the day. The harder she worked, the greater her physical desire seemed to be. The discovery of a new formula or an implication of an equation seemed to not only thrill her mind, but her body as well. The inferences contained in Katrina's words, their hidden meanings, also seemed to be revealed just like her mathematical discoveries, as she pondered and toyed with them. She would have to explore the matter further one day, she knew, for they explained this link between mental and physical passion. Perhaps she would even take Katrina up on her offer. She had not been to Zax Island in years. It would be interesting to go back, perhaps, and visit it again. And explore the parts she had not seen. There were truths to be discovered there also, truths about herself.

Standing up she stretched and looked at the time. She had been sitting for 16 hours. How the time flew! Walking over to her bed, she took off her clothes, and lay down, reaching between her legs. Closing her eyes, she sighed, as her hand moved, sending small ripples of pleasure though her thighs and up into her breasts. Opening her eyes, she looked at the symbols, frozen the air around her. They were sensual, stimulating, and she could feel the pleasure between her legs building. Yes, she thought, perhaps after the seminar. A trip to the Island would be…interesting.

On the other side of the world, another woman lay in her bed, surrounded by three women all wearing diapers. Two of these were blond, and except for a twenty year age difference, the pair was almost identical. The third, stood in stark contrast to the other two; not only was she older, but her hair was raven black. The woman on the bed sighed. She always enjoyed using these three together. The younger blond was so innocent and beautiful, so willing to please, even though it embarrassed her so. Her older twin was also beautiful, but not nearly so innocent. She hated being with her younger companion. Her movements were tense and reserved, even reluctant, but this strangely added to the excitement. The black-haired woman was perhaps the most interesting of the three. Her cracked green eyes bespoke of an internal struggle cataclysmically lost and from which she had never recovered. Still, a spark of fire remained in those beautiful eyes; a spark of passion and intense desire. Pointing between her spread legs, the woman on the bed said, "worship your Mistress". The blacked-haired woman moved instantly been her legs and kissed her naked pussy reverently. Between her own legs, beneath the heavy diapers she wore, she began wetting herself, the dark stain spreading across her white crotch. The woman on the bed signed. "Yes!" she said, 'yes, that's it, yes." Then looking at the older blond and pointing to her younger twin she said "take her up the ass."