by M-Y-Erotica
A delightful story - I almost remember being that nervous, eager, and inept way back when I was a teenager.
And I loved the ending!
I strongly recommend that you continue writing erotica. This story displays great potential.
You have a knack for creating realistic and original dialogue that amuses the audience to no end.
Even if you do not write any more erotica, I'd recommend that you consider writing professionally.
I've really come to appreciate the dialogue and the emotion in this story.
The relationship between Thuy and Jake is absolutely amazing.
I wish you'd write more, but even if you don't, you've created a masterpiece.
this story is amazing, and i think the story of Jacob and Thuì is worth the long build up.
i hope you right more similar to these...
Whew...well everyone has said it all and in some instances in great detail! Great story, best I've read on here so far, you've raised the bar. Please, please, please keep on writing.
The majority of what I read on here has been trashy. This isn't trashy in the least. I loved it. The characters were so believable and humorous. I found so much I could relate to. Brilliant.. if this was a novel it'd be so amazing.. You should really consider writing a romance novel. I loved it.
Amazing. Loveable. Fantastic... I think I need to get a Thesaurus for this comment.
I truely enjoyed your story from start to finish. I knew there was a reason I added you to my fav. auth.files. keep up the inspired work ;D
Absolutely loved it. Well written, super sweet, full of joy and love. Totally adorable characters.
I wish my first time had been like this.
I read books, alot of books, and everyone has a unique and wonderful story. All the erotica i read before this was a waste of my time. This is a love story worthy of being published and sherished by everyone. I loved everything aobut this story. Just plain amazing.
Honestly i had read this story long time ago but i had to read it twice. Its simply amazing, i'v wondered why the author didnt post more stories. I hope she'll continue writing some day.
Lovely story, brought a tear to my eyes it has to be said as memories of loves gone past flooded into my mind and body. So sweet, very well done!
Good God! What an incredible story you have crafted!
I would love to see you re-write this story as the script for a stage play. It's that good!
The sweet but corny banter, the trust and respect these two young people have developed over the years of being "best friends" . . . just amazing! Please give us more!
Fantastic story, one of the best i've read. Great humour and perfect themes. Great!
Amazing. Loved it. So much better than other crap on here. Honestly brought a tear to my eye.
I loved your story. It was so sweet and innocent and true to how you feel when you fall in love and have sex for the first time. Amazing, simply amazing.
I have been reading erotic stories for over 6 years now, and i dou't think i have ever read something as beautifully written as this...keep it up...!
Let me tell you, I love for what u've written and the way u brought it out! One of my own biggest fantasies.
This is what famous auther Norman Mailler refers to as "mental vomit". The posting is a string of happenings and emotions so trivial as to be not worth remembering; and even less worth telling anyone about
you have a gift that is to touch the heart of your readers. I would have given 100% but i think you have got more and i look forward to reading it
This is one of the better stories on this site. It has lots of feeling, so the sex isn't just sex for sex's sake. I really feel like I know the two main personalities and appreciate their genuine love for each other. Great Story!! Keep writing.
Wish there were more stories like this here. Really wonderful.
Great character development. Jake and Thuy seemed like people we know and love. I felt almost like their parents at the end.
Really great story of two people who is in love. One of the best stories on the site and you should write a book!
I understand the mental vomit point Anonymous was making, but giving the story zero for that is unfair in the context of an amateur story website,
At times, it certainly does read a little bit too much like a shopping list of occurrences, so if the author would like improve from a prose point of view that is certainly something to work on.
Having said that, to talk about Mailler's standards here is just plain unfair and this is way better than the vast majority of thoughtless unrealistic bilge that gets posted here.
loved it =D btw, is thuy vietnamese? just wondering, cause it sounds like it
So many times in our lives we are so busy looking for that special one that we overlook the one that is meant to be our soul mate. This is a shinning example of that. Many times we overlook the very thing we are looking for in the name of friendship. We need to slow down and pay attention to our feelings. When we do, most of the time it is right in front of our face. You have written the life story of many out there. Keep up your work. You have a great talent.
Oh wow. I didn't want this story to end! The build up for these two was perfect, from that first caress to them finally making love.
And it was truly making love. What a beautiful story, the reactions, the emotions, everything just perfect.
All the above have said it all ! WELL DONE !! (SIGNED: A VERY senior citizen)
This is, thus far, hands-down, the best short story I've read on this site.
Though I am, deep-down, a closet romantic, I've read NO story on this site that stirred those hidden, dormant, romantic feelings...until now.
The story perfectly portrayed the budding love between these two characters and I can't think of a thing I'd add to it that wouldn't actually do damage to the story...but it pains me to think that this is all we get of the story of Thuy and Jake.
No, seriously, some of the stories here, well, actually, most of them, are only good because of the sex scenes, and the rest of the writing is, well, bearable, but this one could stand on its own, even if you were to replace the description of the love-making with an allusion to it. I love your tone and writing, the way you make it so realistic. Lots and lots of luck. Seriously. I don't usually write comments, but I just feel so good when commenting on such a fabulous story. :D
it warmed me body and soul, no short has touched me like this one, so sweet and yet amazingly sexual. i am amazed at your talent, and you really should right a book :)
I totally loved your story great characters and interactions it even had me laughing a few times.
This story was brilliant, it's really interesting to read it from a guys perspective, one of the best I have ever read or maybe the best, it was great :) I love romance!
It felt real. It held the emotions. It told of true love before both parties knew it.
I added this to my favorites!
Excellent story and highly erotic. Obviously the work of a talented writer: aside from a couple of corney exchanges of dialog it is faultless.
Best I have read so far. Good story line makes it erotic as hell. Not just another slam,bam,thank you mamm.
Best I have read so far. Good story line makes it erotic as hell. Not just another slam,bam,thank you mamm.
I had long ago given up trying to find a good story here and then I stumble on this. REALLY REALLY GOOD STORY. Thank you author for your time and effort and PLEASE continue. Maybe a folow up story about the two lovers?
This may well be the perfect story. The dialogue is thoughtful, pacing is good, and the payoff is well worth the wait. My only complaint is that there isn’t a sequel. Nice work!
Absolutly best I have ever read. It completely crossed the line into the world of literature. The words were real and the emotions were real. I forgot that I was reading it on this site. You turned sex into making love. Words cannot even describe. Amazing work. Thank you.
Keep it up!!! :)
this story is incredible, so believable as well. it isn't just fantasy, you could actually be Jacob and have this story happen to you. kudos to the author!
This story was very well written. Every step more they took make me think about the time I took that same step with my wife to be. The only difference was our steps took over a year, and completed on our honeymoon. The emotions were the very similar to what you wrote. We just took more time and smelled the roses along the way more. A lot of the enjoyment was learning together. Now 40 years later and 7 grandchildren we are as much in love as ever and still learning. I can't wait to read more of your excellent writing.
This leads the best stories ive ever read ,exellent emotions and expressions.i jus love the story,i must have read it a couple of times and it i always feel its the first time ive read it...
WOW, AND WOW. One of the best stories I have ever read. Your writing is flawless and your storytelling is absolutely breath-taking. Bravo!
I've read this once before. Came across it a second time, and realised halfway down page 1 that I've read this before, but still got drawn in and still found myself turned on by the love and the sex coming together like that.
Absolutely fabulous!!
- JT
you were right about the relationship making the sex. this was such a great story! and, it was beautifully written! good work!
Absolutely amazing. It's not just a sex story, it's about loving someone, and that just makes it really beautiful. You're a fantastic writer :)
The name Thuy throws me off, as it's not phoenetic, but every other aspect of the story is spot-on. Terrific characters, just enough descriptors to let us fill in our details, and a wonderful building sense of relationship...
Thanks for the great Love Story.
M
you should make another, yes the name does need to be changed but everything else fine
That comment reminds me of a certain American exec of a very large multi-national who asked me in an angry way, (and I quote) "why can't all you Europeans speak *!*!*!*g English?" when I told him the training and comms materials would need translating into French, German, Czech, etc etc. Amazing for a man from the so-called 'land of the free'. Amazing too that 90% of the rest of the world does not speak Americanese - for it is not original English either. And I got recently chastised for not speaking English when I used the affectionate term for mother, i.e. mummy, because that was supposed to be the exclusive domain of mummified corpses!!! I've kept the comment on the bottom of one of my stories to just remind myself that we are two countries divided by a common language.
The story was lovely, bar the reference to a crack pipe. Anything to do with drugs (unless it's a fantasy story about mind control) turns me right off. I've never needed the excuse of drink or drugs to have a good fuck, so what is it with this over-used device to accelerate the story line? :)
Re-read ref to crack as went back through to start and oops sorry, missed the joke. See two countries divided by....a sense of humour? lol
I've read a helluva lot of stories on here, but this is probably the best. Good job, man. Write another one like this
If young love has ever been described any better, I have never read it.
it's gorgeous! lovely! and everything! i love their dynamic. the bantering and added details made everything so believable and realistic -- also much more romantic. i love the build-up, and like you said, it was worth it.
you have a talent for dialogue. it made me laugh and feel with jake. it's just... amazing. there's no other words. this is the best erotica i've read -- ever.
make more please! of thuy and jake. :)
This is one of the best erotic stories that i've read, this is just great, five stars through the roof!!!
Wow. I've only been on this site about a month, but that was the best story I've read so far. I was touching myself from about 3 pages in. You're totally right, it's the relationship that makes the sex. I can totally relate to this story, and I'm planning on reading this story to my boyfriend, and sending a link to all my friends who are into erotic stories. Thanks for the amazing story!!
Thrilling, poetic, deep, real, magical, endearing, mind-blowing, funny, true, powerful, enchanting, sexy, sweet, natural, captivating, honest, soul-inspiring, intense, beautiful, moving, breath-taking...
An amazing fantasy, from beginning to end. I feel like I've just been handed an awesome gift.
Thank you.
AH
Just read this and remembered reading it before. To my chagrin I discovered I didn't post on it then, so here it is now. One of the finest stories I've read, on Lit or anywhere. Added to my favourites. Thank you.
Scotsman69
I absolutely love this, it's the best I've read. The sharp wit in the dialogue is what just makes the whole story. I was giggling myself silly at some of the things they said. Loveitloveitloveit.
A 10 star story.
this story is sooo amazing. itz romantic and it explains what some best friends go through and finally someone on here gets that sometimes sex isnt all about porn itz about how people love eachother and i thatz y i think this should be on the top lists and none of those incest, porn, bimbo, one night stands. keep writing!!!!
This story is incredible. How my imagination was running, the details were so vivid. Vocabulary made it so easy to imagine, everything was perfect and amazingly written! This is absolutely a 10. Bring on some more!!
- Briana
this was just great. everything from the first paragraph to the last quote are just perfect. a great plot, with impressive writing to really visualize the scenes. what an amazing piece!
I fully enjoyed reading this.. just for the fact that it wasnt all about sex but the love between them both. It made me smile and laugh in some places as some parts did remind me of me and my boyfriend.
Very well written
This love story brought tears to my eyes..and left my cock drooling...I wish we all could loose our virginity to some one like these two...thankyou
Robin
I loved this story, Well written Asian and first time. I am actually at a loss for words. It is now 2010 please write some more please.
This was the best story I've read in a long time. Very well written and easy to relate to. I went through something like this with one of my better friends and I had the exact same thoughts as Jake.
this story was just incredible! it's the best thing i've ever read! ... i hope one day i'm as lucky as Jake.
Wonderful story :) I wish my next door neighbor didn't have to move to a different state. We were best friends since we we're 5 years old. I miss him so much ): I sometimes wonder what we could have been if he hadn't moved away.
such a good story wish it could happen between me and the girl i love
I have been reading stuff here for months now... For some reason I hadn't read this one before...BIG MISTAKE!
This is the best fucking erotic story I ever read in my life. Very well written. THANK YOU FOR THE ORGASM!! TWICE!!
Omg I love how the dad goes " it's about dam time! Can I go home now!" I was like daaaaam XD
This reminds me of the skit off of The Holy Grail:
And there was much rejoicing....
yeaaaaaaaaaaa
I have dodged this story since i became a member and that was a mistake. Wonderful Story!
Funny one minute, intense the next. The realization of love, between the two just made me cry. There truly is nothing between them.
-NM
Unlike most stories very well written without blatant or too much sex and ending best of all. Seems like something which might acturall happen.
PLEASE write more of these! Honestly, the love-making was very detailed and exquisitely done, but these CHARACTERS! Jake and Thuy, my heart goes out to you both... we've got to have more! Have you written anything new about them since? They're so perfect.... 5 stars, all the way.
Funny, I guess I thought I'd forgotten what it was like, fumbling around until we finally got it right, but as I read this it took me back across all the years to those days of youthful innocence, lust, and love. Your descriptions are so accurate. In fact you're the only author who understands that when giving oral sex to a girl you can't figure out exactly where you are because you can't see anything, and it's only with practice that you get to know your way around down there.
For this story, on a scale of one to five, you deserve a twelve!
I'm trying to think of the right word to explain this story and it's characters, but the only word that comes to mind is 'perfect'.
This is the type of story that makes me go "awww" and *sigh* and "I wish I had a Jake." So good. So wonderfully, absolutely, incredibly and other-such-synonyms good.
Very enjoyable, very real ... and I'm sure it's made a few fondly remember the their first time.
Very awesome story. My first time was during High School, with a girl I didn't even love in the back of a tiny ass Honda civic in the parking lot of a baseball stadium. Wish it had been more like this.