All Comments on 'On The Farm with Camille'

The dialogue was a real challenge this time around. I finally stopped with what is there when I had said all I wanted to say, even though it wasn't as in character as I would have liked. Friendships that I have known and seen have disintegrated when challenged by sexual congress. That is why I had the friend disappear. She initiated things and she was there at the end to help ground out Camille after it was all over.

I like the concept. I like the characters; not too outlandish, but also not the same characters in every story out there. The weak point I think is your dialogue, which tends to stray out of character sometimes (especially the discussion about buying the two devices). Also, I felt like you developed this whole relationship with the friend, and then the friend just disappeared, so some of the introduction was wasted. But overall, I enjoyed it and look forward to seeing more.