All Comments on 'One Night with Lady Gaga'

Terrible. It didn't excite me at all.

Really great story.

I was on board with this idea at the start. I always did feel like Gaga could inspire some interesting stories along these lines, and the dominant angle you had her showing at the start was also a nice idea.

Unfortunately, the way its written kind of undermines a lot of the potential behind the idea. The story moves too quickly through the sex, without really giving the reader a chance to properly get excited by it. Remember, this is sex, nothing wrong with a little textual foreplay to help set the scene. Also, some of the prose and phrasing kind of hurts the drive - I can respect you're making an effort to just keep to more than just 'dick' and 'pussy' ad nauseam, but even with the variety, the actions described feel just...there, and in one or two cases, the choice words ('shining hilt' being the main example) just feel awkward.

I commend the effort, and really do hope we're able to see more stories involving her in the future, cause the entire persona there does lend itself to some interesting ideas, but as it stands, this story's still a pretty rough effort. Not bad for a first attempt, but definitely has room for improvement.

Keep at it, though! You've got some promise, just need to pace yourself a little more and work on setting the scene a bit better.

www.cockw.com