Operation Fit Bird

"Work all right?" Will asked Ant. "How's that girl you were ogling?"

"I wouldn't know, mate," Ant said. "I'm a one-woman man nowadays. Only got eyes for Charlotte," he grinned.

"Jesus," said Will. He paused for a moment to pass the spliff and thought about Ant and Charlotte. Even though his friend was a boorish, homophobic prick he was still his best mate and he didn't like the thought of him making a total twat out of himself. "That didn't take long."

"Yeah, I know. Like I was saying though, she's got the lot so why look elsewhere?" said Ant.

Will looked at his friend and tried to picture him and Charlotte ten years down the line, married with kids, living the family life. From what he'd heard about Charlotte's background, and had seen for himself at her house, he couldn't see her parents being over-enamoured by the prospect of Ant as a son-in-law.

"Meeting the folks on Sunday," Ant said proudly. "Going round for dinner. Gonna meet Grandma and Grandad, her brother and sister, all of 'em."

Hearing that and seeing Ant's happiness Will felt bad for having such elitist thoughts. He knew nothing about Charlotte's parents and, after all, it wasn't as though he was from a pedigree background himself. Snobbery was not an attractive trait he reminded himself but still, perhaps out of a genuine concern for his friend, he couldn't help feel Ant needed to slow things down a touch for his own well-being. "Charlotte's as keen, then?" he asked.

Ant turned to him, "How could she not be?" he asked. "No, but seriously mate, she's fucking mint. I'm loved up."

The mention of love touched a nerve with Will. He'd told a girl he loved her once, and regretted it ever since. They'd been very young and he'd been very naïve, thinking he should share - so she could share her own with him - the euphoric feelings he was experiencing with the girl whose breasts had most probably been the cause of those feelings. After about a fortnight and three clumsy fumbles he'd declared his love for her on her doorstep and was promptly dumped via her best friend the next day during double chemistry so hearing Ant talk about his ardour after such a short time set alarm bells ringing. He couldn't help himself, he had to warn Ant. "You wanna be careful, mate," he said. "Don't go in too heavy too soon."

Ant looked at him with disgust. "Thanks for the advice, Casanova," he said. "How would I cope without you? Seriously, Will. You can be a proper jealous knob sometimes. How do you know she hasn't told me she loves me already?"

"Fair enough, I don't. I'm just looking out for you," he said.

They'd just arrived at their smoking spot and Ant laughed incredulously as he turned off the engine. "Let's see here. Who's the one with the girlfriend and who's the one wanking over pictures on the internet?" No reply was needed. "Now shut the fuck up before you piss me off; and roll that fucking reefer."

"Okay, okay," he said. Sensing his well-meaning sentiments weren't landing Will decided to quit while he wasn't too far behind and did as Ant told him. A few moments later the car had filled with smoke and Ant seemed to have relaxed. Will, on the other hand, was teetering towards paranoia and was considering the inconceivable -- turning down the spliff when it came back his way. He looked at Ant, fearing his friend was stewing over Will's ill-judged advice. "We cool?" he asked tentatively.

Ant looked at him and laughed. "Getting a bit para are we? Will can't handle his weed! Fuck, you're not gonna whitey on me are you?"

"Fuck off," Will shot back, overcompensating but relieved the tension had been broken. He looked at his watch. "We're meeting Julia at half seven. What you gonna wear?"

Ant rolled his eyes. "Something Charlotte can get into easily," he replied. "Homo."

A homo he wasn't but Will did spend longer choosing his outfit for the night than he might have done if the girl he'd spent the last few weeks fantasising about wasn't going to be there. Assuming it would be pretty warm in the club he settled for a burgundy checked shirt and his skinny jeans with his new grey Nike high-tops. All scrubbed and smelling irresistible -- his mum told him so his way out -- he walked the few paces to Ant's house. His phone vibrated and, when he saw it was a text from Julia, his pulse quickened.

We r gonna be late but ur names are on the door. See u in there hun x x

A mite disappointed he wouldn't have as much time to woo Julia but pleased with a hun and two kisses he tapped out a reply:

No sweat, hun. See u when u get there x x

"Julia won't be there for a bit but our names are on the door," he said coolly to Ant as they walked towards his car.

"What does that mean?" Ant asked, lighting up.

"You know," Will said. "On the guest list."

"Oh right, of course," sniggered Ant, looking at him. "Will Weston, you're so cool."

During the drive Ant regaled Will with the Skype sex he and Charlotte had just had, omitting precious few details and leaving Will in little doubt that Charlotte's reputation was deserved. Whilst not normally averse to hearing sordid tales all he could think about was whether he'd ever have the chance to do something similar to Julia, preferably in person. By the time they arrived at the venue Will was a messy mix of horny, jealous, stoned and anxious and had started worrying Julia had been winding him up and there were no tickets for them, VIP or otherwise. Ant parked the car and texted Charlotte to find out where she was waiting and the two of them set off across the road.

Charlotte was waiting in a blinged-up Porsche SUV that roared away as soon as she'd closed the door behind her and the happy couple reunited with such passion on the pavement that Will found it hard to believe they'd been performing live for one another only an hour or so before. Their mouths finally separated and Ant's hand reappeared from under Charlotte's skirt and he turned to introduce Will.

"You remember Will, don't you Lottie?"

Charlotte -- evidently known as Lottie to her closest friends -- gave him a big smile and kissed both cheeks. "Course I do," she said. "Ant talks about you all the time. He thinks the world of you!"

Ant shot her a slightly embarrassed look but Will decided to be gracious. "He talks about you a lot too," he said.

"Oh good," she said with a sultry look. "Has he told you how much I love little Ant?" she asked, rubbing Ant's groin.

"Erm, he might have mentioned it," chuckled Will.

"And I told him how much I love your tits," Ant said, mauling Charlotte's chest.

The mere thought of one another's bodies was obviously impossibly arousing and the pair were locked at the mouth again, hungrily exchanging saliva. When they came up for air Will thought he'd better move the conversation topic along otherwise they'd never make it to the door.

"Was that your dad dropping you off?" he asked.

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah he had to go and meet someone," she said vaguely, not dispelling one iota Will's preconceptions about those with showy houses and flash cars.

"Nice car," Will lied. He'd decided it would be as well to ingratiate himself with Charlotte if her and Ant were as besotted as it seemed.

"Eww, do you think?" she said, screwing up her nose. "I hate it. It's so tacky!"

Will shrugged and said nothing but smiled inwardly. He was beginning to like her.

The queue was already round the block and it had begun to rain. Will took great pleasure in breezing past the shivering hordes to the much shorter queue that led to the paradise that was the VIP bar. Near the front were a couple of people he recognised, one of whom was a great brute who had viciously scythed him during a match against another school team a few weeks before. He didn't bother to say hello but was delighted to see that the bouncer with the clipboard was only a few feet in front and would be well within earshot. A well-dressed couple were confirmed as being on the list and then Will stepped up.

"Guest list only, sir," the bouncer said, holding up a hand then gesturing round the corner. "If you'd like to join the back of the queue then doors open at eight."

"Yeah, we're on the guest list, mate. Should be three of us on there under Will Weston?" Will said clearly, and looked at Ant and Charlotte who were otherwise engaged. Will felt sure the word "wanker" he'd just heard from the queue was nothing to do with him.

The bouncer looked at him suspiciously then down at his list, running his biro down the list of names. "Weston, yeah?" he asked Will, and flipped onto the second page.

"Yeah, Will Weston," Will said, a slight sinking feeling beginning to develop. "On the VIP list," he said with more confidence than he felt.

The bouncer stopped and regarded him with a look of mild disdain. "This is all VIP, sir," he said, resuming his search on the list.

Will thought he heard a snigger or two from the queue behind him but ignored it, glad any redness of face was visible only to the bouncer.

"Weston... Weston," the bouncer said to himself as he searched the list, then his pen stopped. "Right, here you go, Bill Weston."

The relief was immense. "Will," said Will.

"Whatever," said the bouncer and looked at Will again. His hand came up like a policeman stopping traffic. "Got any ID?"

This time Will definitely heard laughter from the queue but by this time it was water off a duck's back. He was on the guest list to see Chase and Status, on his way to the VIP bar and the loser cunts in the queue could fuck right off. "Course," he said affably and fished out his wallet, handing over his driving licence.

"Enjoy your night," said the bouncer, unhooking the red rope and stepping to one side.

"We will," grinned Will, and allowed himself a look back at the queue but no one was watching.

The VIP bar, it transpired, was actually part of the regular bar but with another red-roped area to separate the chosen few from the hoi-polloi. The place was surprisingly brightly-lit and scruffier than Will had expected, and smelled of disinfectant. It wasn't quite what Will had been picturing but then again he hadn't been a VIP before so didn't have a lot to go on.

"Drink?" he asked Ant who was, for the first time since their reuniting, apart from Charlotte as she chatted to someone she knew.

"Fuck me, you buying?" asked Ant.

Will gave him a grin and waved a twenty pound note. "Sure am. Enjoy it while you can," he said.

"Right then, vodka Red Bull it is," said Ant.

The two of them stood by the bar. Will was pleased to see that the VIP section at least had a dedicated member of staff on hand. "Three vodka and Red Bulls, please," he said, his folded twenty between two fingers. He turned to face the room, which was beginning to fill up, and scanned it for Julia. Music began playing quietly through the bar's sound system and Will turned to Ant. "Must be the warm-up DJ," he said knowledgeably.

Ant nodded. "Mate of yours, is he?" he asked sarcastically.

Will gave him a fake smile and leaned on the bar. "Eighteen pound, ninety," said the barman behind him.

"Fuckin' 'ell, I didn't want doubles," Will protested.

"They're singles," said the smirking barman. "Eighteen, ninety please, sir."

"Right," said Will, and handed over the note. He looked at Ant who was stifling laughter.

"Pretty slick," Ant said. "Spoken like a true high-roller."

"Fuck's sake," Will muttered, pocketing the change and picking up his drink. "Oi, mate," he shouted after the barman. "What about ice?"

"Machine's broken," the barman replied, and went to serve his next customer.

Will rolled his eyes and looked at the tiny plastic glass in his hand. "I don't know what you're laughing at," he said to Ant. "You're buying from now on."

Ant giggled as they made their way to the red sofa where Charlotte sat with two other girls. "It's like hanging with Jay Z," he told Charlotte, nodding at Will.

Charlotte grinned, thanked them for the drink, and went back to her friends. She took a sip and screwed up her nose. "No ice?"

As Ant guffawed Will opened his mouth to explain but at the same time the music was turned up and his voice was drowned out.

If Will was honest he was starting to think maybe Julia wasn't going to show. The bar was full, as was the non-VIP section a few feet away, and Chase and Status were due on at any minute. Will had had plenty of time to take in the gig-goers and he'd decided that there was a discernible difference between the appearance of people on one side of the rope and the other. He might not have any money and the girl he was spending far too much time thinking about might not be here but he was, nevertheless, on the right side of the rope, hanging with the cool people. And Ant, of course.

It was looking very much as though Ant and Charlotte were indeed made for each other. Charlotte's friends had already gone into the main room to hear the warm-up DJ leaving Will with the young sweethearts who were currently exploring the inner depths of one another's throats with their tongues, hence the amount of time Will had available to look around him. She was attractive, Will thought of Charlotte; a buxom brunette with big brown eyes. What she saw in the great lump whose face she was eating he had no idea. Will took out his phone for the hundredth time and at that moment felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey you," Julia said and Will leapt to his feet. She kissed both his cheeks leaving a delicious fragrance behind. "Sorry we're late. Dad sent a limo and we got stuck in traffic."

"No problem," said Will, smiling at the five or six, mostly male, people she'd arrived with "We've just been having a drink and chilling out here."

"Cool, well I'm glad you got in okay. These are some friends, I'll introduce you later," said Julia, waving towards her group, then went to kiss Charlotte.

Julia, predictably as far as Will was concerned, looked stunning. Her hair was curled and cascaded in waves down onto her bare shoulders, and she wore a black choker around her throat that instantly made Will horny. She was wearing a tight, and insanely short, strapless red dress which had tiny slits up the side of the hem - as if enough thigh wasn't already on display - and black stiletto heels with a red sole that seemed to match her dress perfectly. As she leaned over to kiss Charlotte Will was treated to a flash of white underwear that, if all his plans failed and nothing more ever happened between them, was almost as sexy as seeing her topless and could fuel his fantasies for years to come. He was still lost in the glory of Julia's appearance when he realised one of the guys she'd arrived with was talking to him.

"I said would you like a drink?" the bloke asked. He was older than Will and had a similar accent to Julia's. Whether this made him posh or just southern Will wasn't sure.

"Oh, yeah, great," Will replied.

"Champagne okay?" the chap asked.

Will nodded, pleased that finally someone was living up to the VIP standards he'd been expecting from the night.

The regular bar was emptying rapidly suggesting the band were about to come on. As Will sipped his first ever taste of real champagne and felt highly sophisticated he tried not to ogle Julia too obviously. She was busy saying hello and generally being popular with various people but, to Will's disappointment, seemed to be staying quite close to one or two of the men she'd arrived with. They all looked so similar Will was finding it hard to tell them apart although the bright red trousers one wore were at least a distinguishing feature. None of them were obviously a boyfriend but Julia clearly knew them well. Will reminded himself that nothing had happened to suggest she was single anyway, apart from the strip in her bedroom and that, of course, was just because she was confident and mature, rather than a massively sexy flirt. During an orbit of the bar she appeared beside him, moving in time to the music, a huge smile on her face. She looked so relaxed and at ease, unlike Will who was torn between trying to maintain an image of cool that he'd decided was worthy of the VIP bar and actually enjoying himself.

"We'll go in in a minute," Julia said, lifting her glass to salute someone else she knew on the other side of the room. "You having fun?"

"Yeah, great," said Will. "Thanks again for sorting the tickets out."

Julia gave him another million-dollar smile and told him not to be so silly, it was no biggie, then drifted off to chat to someone else, leaving Will feeling like he'd had a chance to say something more exciting and had missed it. Before he had another opportunity the DJ stopped and the crowd cheered, meaning Chase and Status were about to come on.

The gig was as good as Will could have hoped, a huge sound system sending visceral thuds of bass through his body, lasers and complex visuals singeing his brain. The effects of the last joint he and Ant had smoked still lingered, making his senses all the more susceptible to the stimuli they were receiving. If the VIP bar hadn't quite met his expectations then the balcony they were on, above the writhing, sweating mass of bodies below them on the dance floor made up for it. The atmosphere was charged, with everyone moving, the music generating a sense of togetherness, helped along by the champagne that kept appearing in his hand, courtesy of Julia's friends.

"Fuckin' top, innit?" shouted Ant, who was beside him one minute then back grinding against Charlotte the next. There was an energy that made it impossible not to dance and Will looked out at the sea of bodies below and at the slightly less sweaty but no less involved people around him. Julia was just off to one side, dancing sexily, her hands above her head, her bum wiggling as the bass thudded. She gave him a grin then danced towards him, holding his hands, moving with him, their bodies close together. She spun around and pressed against him, her bum against his instantly hardened cock and wiggled in time to the beat. Will backed away slightly, a touch embarrassed to be so obviously aroused so easily and Julia gave him a smile over her shoulder. He looked down at her stupendous body, transfixed by her killer heels, her shapely legs, and gyrating bum and the northward creeping dress and had to stop himself running his hands over her arse and up her dress. He had to behave. It was the gentlemanly thing to do. Will saw from the corner of his eye Julia's friends looking in his direction but he didn't let it bother him. They danced like that for the rest of the song, Julia wiggling tantalisingly in front of Will, Will enjoying the view then, as one track segued into the next, she moved away slightly, towards one of the guys she'd come with to dance with him. It didn't take long before her hands were running down his body and, Will could hardly fail to notice, across his crotch. Will's first thought was that he must be a boyfriend after all, but after a few seconds gyrating Julia had turned to one of the other guys and was dancing with him, her head back, eyes closed, hands locked in his. Disappointed, but glad he hadn't made a fool out of himself dancing inappropriately with her Will told himself to forget about her, that she was a flirt and a tease after all and to enjoy the music and atmosphere.

It was going well, Will was having a great time, it was just that every time he looked over at Julia she was with another bloke, dancing and hugging and, quite often Will noticed, feeling them up pretty blatantly. It occurred to him that maybe she was doing it to everyone there, that this was how she got when she was out, and that perhaps his turn would come again soon. Maybe he'd be a little less subtle next time. Perhaps Mark hadn't been exaggerating about how randy she was. Maybe she was doing it because she loved turning guys on, loved knowing that everyone there was aroused by her. Will supposed that must be quite a feeling of power. He watched her bum jiggling to the beat, her little dress working its way further up her thighs until her white knickers came into view again. Occasionally she'd remember to pull it back down, but not very often, and Will began wondering how high it might go. Jesus, she was turning him on and he wasn't even one of those she was stroking. He worked his way over to Ant.