All Comments on 'Paranoid'

scarey world out there

I thought this was going to be really good.

You fucked up the ending in a BIG BIG way!

That had me gripping the edge of my seat.

It's like you ran out of ideas and rushed the ending. You had the suspense, you held the audience. You fucked it.

why not have the souls of all the guys she killed come back and haunt her via her laptop? They can fuck the bitch to death?

I can't decide if I liked this or not...the beginning was great...and the ending was great. But, I feel like there should have been something else, or that the beginning and ending shouldn't have been in the same story. Either way, keep it up. Write for yourself, not random people like me. :) (BTW - I gave this a 100...not because I loved it, but because like I said before, you should write for yourself and it takes guts to submit something like this and let people comment.)

bit freaky with her spying and stuff. Cant decide if I liked it or not

For a minute there I got to laugh a few good times before the crazy chick killed "Jeff" off. The ending should have been more but the rest was pretty cool!

Your tale makes me think of an soft-porn version of Scream except the killer is Baby Firefly from House of a 1,000 Corpses. It functions better as a horror story rather than a sex story, but all in all it was really enjoyable and VERY creepy. Good job!

Interesting story, however the name "Jeff", the computer relationship, and the castration all bear a disturbing resemblance to the indie flick "Hard Candy" starring Ellen Page.... check it out.