All Comments on 'Rachel's Prince Charming'

Seemed like you ran out of ideas and steam at the same time and settled for trite.

Awesome story!!! well done, i loved it :) hard to believe its your first story! Please please please please keep writing

She goes from nearly being raped to deciding to fuck her savior. That's ok, but the transition is too slick. And the ending is pure saccharin. That's the criticism. The GOOD thing is you are interested in this genre; have a narrative style; and you are willing to discuss first-time fucking from a young woman's point of view. Get an editor, because the grammar and syntax errors are hurtful. Good luck!

I loved this story, I thought the story line was good, and the characters seem real. Though I agree with the comment that you should read over to check for grammar mistakes, I didn't see any syntax errors. Yea it did seem like you ran out of steam, I would encourage you to take a day and rest when you tire of the story- it'll give you the energy you'll need to carry on. GREAT first story! And one of the best under this genre that I've read!

love it. VAU, its breathtakingly awsom story. This is the way I woud treat a girl.