Reality or Perception

Once he had his breath back, shithead decided to be more cautious. He backed away. Well now, that wasn't going to work for me. I couldn't beat the shit out of him if he was going to run away so I advanced on him with my arms slack at my sides and my hands open. As I got within reach, I raised my right hand and smacked him across the face with a resounding crack! This was not designed to hurt: only to anger, and boy, was he angry! He swore a lot and rushed me again, all caution forgotten. I watched him come and met him with a fist to the solar plexus. The air whooshed out of his lungs and he had this stupid look of surprise on his face as he sank to his knees, both hands held tight against his stomach, and gasping for breath. I suddenly just felt tired of him and this crap. This time when he finally got back up, I decided to end it. I took his rush head on, slipped sideways and brought my hand up in a chopping motion to the side of his neck, low and toward the front. I was careful not to crush his larynx: I didn't want to kill him. He stopped dead, as if he had run into a tree. I knew he was struggling to breathe. His breathing reflex was semi paralyzed by the blow. I could see the fear in his eyes now. He knew he was a dead man.

After watching him struggle for a few seconds, I saw the panic and pain in his eyes and felt sorry for him. I reached over to pinch just the right spot, relaxing the spasm I had caused. He gasped and staggered back, all fight gone. He sucked in huge gulps of air as he tried to get the cobwebs out of his oxygen deprived brain. He tried several times to speak and finally croaked out something.

"I'm sorry man. God, you scared the crap out of me. I thought I was gonna die. I promise you this ain't never gonna happen again. Your wife's safe with me from now on. Just promise you're not gonna kill me."

I looked at him in disgust but needed to ask.

"Was this the first time? How many times have you fucked my wife? I want the truth. Lie and I'll make sure you won't ever screw another man's wife."

"Man, no. This was the first time for me. Maybe other guys, yeah, them's the ones told me about her, but not me. I just met her this week. Never before man, never. Swear to God!"

"Where did you meet her? Who were the guys that told you about her? Tell me!"

"I work for a guy that uses one of the lawyers at her place. My boss said he did her and she was good in the sack. That's the truth man." As my face clouded with anger, he backed away and finally croaked, "Don't kill the messenger, man."

I believed him so I just stepped back pointing at the door. He left in a hurry, carrying his shoes and jacket with him. He didn't even bother to say goodbye. Rude bastard.

I sat on the couch, that only a few minutes ago had been the scene of the end of my marriage and I cried. I just sat there and cried. I had only loved one woman in my life and that was Karen. I was simply overwhelmed. I had no idea of what I was going to do but at that minute, I knew that my life had changed forever. I loved Karen with all my heart, but I knew that love had just been dealt a death blow. I began to feel a void grow in my chest starting from where my heart was. It continued to grow and a darkness spread from it to my mind. As it grew, I slowly felt a feeling of emptiness take hold.

I wiped my face, splashed some water on to clear my eyes and walked up to the bedroom to confront my wife. She was sitting on the bed. She had been crying but was calm now, apparently relieved that I had let shithead leave without killing him. I sat down beside her and just waited.

"What can I say? This was the first time I had ever done anything like this. I met Carlo last week at the office and we got to talking. I told him where I lived, but I never gave him the address. He must have looked it up. He showed up here today and one thing led to another and you walked in on the result. I am so glad you did. You stopped me from doing something very stupid. I'm sorry, so, so sorry. Please forgive me?"

I won't go into a lot of detail but what happened was that I listened to her, discounted everything she told me and decided to find out for myself. My perception of Karen had now changed and my belief was that she was a tramp. I soothed her by telling her I believed her and that everything was going to be fine. She calmed down, actually being stupid enough to believe me. We made love, since I got to them before she did anything with shithead but it was without feeling on my part. The emptiness I had felt growing had taken me over completely. She really outdid herself. I may live for another 50 years but I don't honestly think I will ever find anyone else who could give a blowjob like Karen. She had an awesome mouth. Dumb bitch! She had it made and she fucked it up.

Three months later, a private investigator's report, complete with pictures of her and two other shitheads that I didn't know, and we were off to divorce court. She cried and cried and wanted to talk about it and explain, but I knew that I had to end it now. Cold turkey! I am a very smart man as you can guess and I really stuck it to her. The emptiness gave me that edge that eliminated any need to be generous or forgiving. She got off with just half of the marital assets in the local banks and we sold the house and split the proceeds. Since it was mortgaged to the hilt, we split half of almost nothing. I refused spousal support and when she balked, I threatened to send the report to her father in San Diego. He was very wealthy and she was his only offspring so she was looking ahead to Daddy's money when he croaked. As a result, she was scared to death of her father cause he actually liked me, so she buckled like a wet noodle. The divorce was signed and that was the last I saw of her. Oh, yes. I got full custody of Mickey. She had visitation rights but never used them. It just goes to show that sometimes your perception of someone can be so totally wrong.

Life Goes On: Me and Mickey

So, there I was, now a single father, 33 years old with a growing practice in psychiatry, making good money and already divorced. My life looked grim, trying to raise a daughter by myself. I had to find some way to get rid of the empty feeling so it would not affect my daughter. I decided then and there to begin to do some of the things that I had planned earlier in my life. I needed some money and I needed help quickly.

One more thing to know about me. Because of some of the things we did in Special Forces in places like Afghanistan long before the first Gulf War, me and some of my buddies were able to make a few bucks under the noses of our commanding officers. The drug trade was flourishing and we just thought it was our due to confiscate some of the dollars from the locals. It was a safe bet that they wouldn't complain and we were not a group that they wanted to make enemies. By way of warning, we found the meanest son of a bitch Tribal Leader in one of the many mountain ranges there, took him out, and mounted his head on a sharp stick. That was a very well recognized sign to the locals. It worked to a degree but we decided it needed a booster shot so we picked another mover and shaker and took him and his lieutenants out. Our rep was sealed, and we had few complainers. So, by the time I was done, I had a nice piece of change in several numbered accounts in Switzerland. No one, including Karen, knew about this part of my life and she knew nothing about the money. I had never had reason to touch it and of course, I never talked about it.

After the divorce was final, I pulled some money out of one of those accounts and invested it in a fund set up for Mickey for her education. I still had plenty of money elsewhere and I only drew on it as needed. My practice was beginning to take off and I had enough coming in to let the rest of it ride. Karen could never touch any of the funds I earned from now on since they were post marriage funds. She never learned of the other monies either.

So now it was just my daughter and I. We moved to a nice apartment just a short walk from my office and I hired a wonderful older nanny to make sure I didn't ruin Mickey's youth. She would give me the time I needed to find my way again and to let the hatred and pain of Karen's betrayal fade. They took to each other right away and made my life much more fun. I loved Mickey to death and I would have spoiled her every which way but nanny Grace made sure that didn't happen. Mickey grew up to be a wonderful girl and a beautiful one to boot. Her beauty she got from her mother. From me, she got her independent spirit and her love of adventure.

I spent more and more time at my practice and took an interest in the psychology of antisocial behavior. I loved the challenge of dealing with people who appeared normal in almost all respects but were deeply troubled and suffered from phobias, obsessions and other neurosis. I thought maybe it would help explain Karen. I took only those clients who could pay well and those whose obsessions were not public knowledge. I gradually got the reputation of one who could be trusted to get those people who were famous out of trouble. My client base grew as the years passed and I found myself more and more fascinated with the criminal element in that subset of famous people I treated.

More than one of my clients had committed a serious crime of some sort at one time or the other and I had been subpoenaed many times to testify in court. Criminal behavior was not protected by doctor/client privilege but I had a way of testifying that also included exculpatory information based on their psychosis. My reputation now included what some called forensic psychology. In any event, I would testify for $25,000 for any of my clients. I would not testify if I didn't know the client or hadn't sufficient time to be certain. My reputation grew, adding integrity to my resume.

As I became more and more well known, I dated less and less. At age 38, I wanted no complications in a life already complicated enough. Even now, five years later, Karen was never far from my mind when I did date and I found it hard to find a way to trust any woman. Only nanny Grace and Michelle. Those were the only women I needed or trusted. I did date occasionally and more than once I used the services of a very discrete escort service. I will say those girls were well trained. They were very knowledgeable and I usually sent them home early in the morning well paid. It kept the edge off.

Mickey turned 13 and we had a major blowout party. She invited all of her friends and I had rented out a bowling alley since that was the 'in thing' at the time. She must have had more than 60 kids there that night and I just had the concession stand do what they normally did. I paid for everything that evening and the kids enjoyed the party tremendously. At least Mickey said they did and she would know. Nanny Grace was there but she only watched and smiled a great deal. She and Mickey were more like friends now, not nanny and ward, but Grace had only to speak and Mickey listened.

At the party, I met many of the parents, especially mothers, of the girls. I was sort of famous and a lot of the mothers were very friendly. I tried to be gracious and well behaved but my eye was wandering a lot. Once, I was very tempted to ask the mother of one of the girls if she would consider meeting me later, but I noticed she looked a lot like Karen. That stopped me cold. I spent the rest of the evening just smiling and watching.

Time passed and Mickey had grown into a teenaged woman. I was proud of her in so many ways. She was a sweet, pretty young girl who had a lot of friends and always seemed to have someplace to go or someone to see. Grace always knew who, where and when and if I asked, she always had the answers. I knew Mickey was in good capable hands, but it had been almost nine years since we had a woman in our lives. I began to pay more attention to the females around us.

A New Start: Helen

It was just after Mickey's birthday party that I met Helen. She was one of the mothers that I met at the party but she was a single mother, about mid 30s, and that made all the difference. She and her husband Chad were not divorced yet but they were officially separated. She was extremely good looking and intelligent. Someone, I can't remember who now, introduced us and wanted to set us up on a date. With my recent introspection, I decided to give it a try. Helen was hot! She was about 5' 6", with long black hair and dark eyes. She had a very nice figure with a chest that promised good things. She always looked nice and she seemed very intelligent when I met her for the first time. We went out, and seemed to hit it off very well. My immediate perception was that if Helen was all I thought she was, she could be perfect for me.

I called her a day later and we made plans to have dinner. We had a few more dates and they were enough to make me want to see more of her. I decided to take the plunge and asked her if she would consider going away with me for a weekend. She hardly thought about it before telling me she would be delighted. We planned a weekend away for just the two of us at a nice resort in San Quintin on the Baja. I had been there before and knew it was perfect. It had a wonderful restaurant called Los Jardines that I knew Helen would love. I chartered a small plane with a pilot and we arrived early on a Friday afternoon.

Once we had checked in, Helen put on a pair of very short shorts with a tank top that was also just a size too small. For me, it was perfect. She put on a pair of sandals and pirouetted for me.

"How do I look? Would you go out with me looking like this?"

"We certainly could go out and give all of the locals a heart attack but I have a much better idea. I think you should take those tight things off and come over her and sit on my lap while I try to measure you for something better?"

She giggled, walked over to me and pulled the top over her head, pushing her 34C's in my face. I was very pleased with this development. We had made love twice before but both times were awkward and tentative. This time, we had three days to learn about each other and I was looking forward to the education. It would seem that finally my perception of someone was correct. Time would tell.

Helen pulled my face to her breasts and encouraged me to take her nipples into my mouth. I was happy to oblige. I worked on both breasts while trying to slide her shorts down over her ample hips. She was making things difficult, while laughing at my attempts. She finally took mercy on me and stood up. She stepped back and watched my face as she slid her shorts down to the floor. She was wearing no panties. She stepped out of them and stood before me in all her glory. She was magnificent!

I also stood up, hurrying to take off my clothes. I couldn't get naked fast enough. As I finally got free of everything, she had moved over to me and put both hands on my chest. She rubbed her hands up and down my chest, over my stomach and down to just above my now erect cock. She teased me this way for a minute, just watching my eyes. When I could finally take no more, she dropped to her knees, sat back and took my cock in her hands. She stroked me a few times, making sure I was hard and ready and took me into her warm mouth. She used her tongue to moisten the head and the first few inches before sliding her lips down and over the first half. She moved back and then repeated the motion, beginning a slow in and out motion. As she did this, she was sucking gently, her cheeks collapsing inward. It was the most erotic sight I had ever seen. I thought Karen gave great head. Helen could give her lessons.

As I began to enjoy the sensations, Helen began to take more and more of me inside her mouth. She finally succeeded in taking all I had without gagging. She looked up at me with those dark eyes of hers as she dropped her hands into her lap. I looked sideways to the mirror and what I saw was something I will never forget. I saw a beautiful woman with golden skin on her knees, sitting back against her heels. Her back was perfectly straight, her head was tilted slightly upward and her hands were sitting quietly in her lap. The contrast of the pure bikini white skin around her tits and pussy next to the golden skin was erotic as hell. She was moving slowly up and down my shaft and I saw a man in heaven.

As I watched my reflection in the mirror, I moved my hands behind her head and held her motionless as I began to move my hips to drive my cock into her warm wet mouth. I started to fuck her mouth and she seemed to like this as I watched her face twist into a smile. I begin to move in and out, leaving just the head in on each stroke and holding back as long as I could. I looked down into her eyes and told her that I was not going to last too much longer. She sucked a little harder for a second, letting me know that it was OK to continue and I nodded. I finally let nature take its course. I began to pump a little faster and a little harder. She seemed fine but reached up to put one hand around the base of my cock to protect her throat if I got a little too aggressive. I felt the contraction of my balls and I knew I had to let it go. I began to really pump into her faster and faster. She reached up with her other hand to grab my balls and gently squeezed them as I was moving in and out. I finally felt the semen pump up the tube and out into her mouth. I came for what seemed like ages. She continued to suck until I began to shrink. She opened her mouth to let me out.

I was panting and almost out of breath. That was the most intensive climax that I could remember having. I looked down at her sitting there, smiling at me. I reached down and pulled her up and held her body next to mine. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth. That wonderful mouth that had given me so much pleasure. I could taste myself on her but I didn't mind at all. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back with passion. I could feel my cock slowly responding, probably because of the little pill I had taken several hours ago. She pulled back and looked down in surprise and apparently some joy based on the smile that formed on her face.

"What have we here? I am quite surprised, but pleasantly so. It seems that someone wants to play some more. Any thoughts?"

I released her and walked over to the bed to sit down. My legs were still shaky and I wasn't sure I could remain upright.

"I'm still trying to get my head to think again. You literally blew my mind just a minute ago. I can't even begin to describe what I felt. Where'd you learn to do that? God, it was incredible."

"A girl can't tell all of her secrets. And it wasn't your mind I was blowing. Are you prepared to return the favor?"

"I'll do my damndest. I don't know if I could ever compete with that, but I'll give it a try. Come over here to the bed and sit down."

She came over to where I was sitting and stopped in front of me. Her close trimmed pussy was almost directly in line with my face and she moved as close as she could, straddling my legs while taking my head in her hands.

"I think I'll remain standing if you don't mind. I like looking down at you. Maybe if you do a really good job, I won't be able to stand very long. Think?"

I took the hint and pulled her into my mouth. I used my tongue to moisten her outer lips and to begin the job of opening her up. I ran my tongue up and down her lips and found her clit just beginning to stick out. I nibbled on that little bump until it was standing proud and then took it between my teeth. She seemed to like that since I could feel her trying to force her crotch down my throat. I used my fingers as well, neglecting neither her pussy nor her clit. I continued this until I could feel her breathing become ragged and her hips moving almost constantly. I reached around behind her and massaged her cheeks as I used my tongue to drive into her as deeply as I could. I wanted to give her the same pleasure she had given me and I tried to make this as good for her as I could. I used two fingers and finally three as I plunged them into her. As I did this, I used my teeth and my tongue on her clit, stimulating her even more. I moved my hand faster and faster, as my mouth pulled and nipped at her clit and I used the other hand to hold her in place. She was now moaning almost continuously and her hips had begun to buck into my face faster and faster. Her hands behind my head had been holding me tightly but now were becoming demanding. My neck was beginning to ache from the strain.