Reality or Perception

"I'm gonna cum soon. Inside you or not?"

"Inside! Do it you bastard! Fuck me harder and cum in me."

Well now, that was something I hadn't heard much before. Actually, I kind of liked it and it did seem to increase my stamina. I was in control and she was mine! I would show her! I fucked her as hard as I could, my hips bucking into her ass and my fingers squeezing her nipples as my hands massaged her tits. My hips were moving at a blur as I felt the fluids move through my balls, and into my cock. The hot liquid shot up the tube inside my cock and out into her waiting body. I let it go and felt the walls of her pussy grip and milk me dry. She had a climax that almost shook me off right in the middle of my ejaculation but I held on till it was over. I collapsed on top of her and she fell flat onto the bed without a whimper. I pulled my arms out from under her and took some of my weight off her. Surprisingly, she seemed to want to be pinned under me so I just wrapped my arms around her and we lay that way for the next five minutes without a word.

I finally rose up and slid off of her to lay beside her. I faced her as she turned her head sideways to look at me. She was smiling thank God. It must have been good for her. I had to admit, I was worried since this was my first time trying to be rough. I waited for her to say something.

"Thank you. You may not believe it but I know that was hard for you. I knew from the beginning that you were not a rough person and that was what gave me the courage to do this with you."

I was surprised. That was not what I expected to hear from her. I guess I thought that she was into S&M and that I was going to be a disappointment to her. I smiled in relief but I was very confused.

"I don't understand. If you wanted someone who was into rough sex, why did you pick me? You say you knew that it would be hard for me. And by the way, I enjoyed it very much, thank you. I wouldn't want a steady diet of it but it was fun."

She looked into my eyes before she continued.

"What I want to do now is to have you make love to me. What we just did was special for me and before this cruise is over, I'll explain it to you. But from now on, we make love or we just fuck, depending on how we feel. No demands, no commitments. OK?"

I looked into her eyes and wondered how she could even ask that. All she had to do was look into a mirror. Any man would consider her words a prayer answered. I grinned like a teenager and gave her my mature, considered answer: "Hell yes!"

The rest of the cruise was magnificent. Rachael and I spent more and more time together while the two girls were content to have a lot of freedom. There was nothing on the cruise that could be a problem and Rachael and I always knew when, where, who with and what the girls were planning. We were responsible but we also were having fun.

By the time the ship was steaming toward San Diego, I thought it was time to make some future plans. Over the past two weeks, I had come to the belief that Rachael was someone I wanted to spend more time with. It appeared that she was free, fun and available for a higher level of commitment than we had shared on the boat. I felt that she was everything I wanted or needed. We were about the same age, she was beautiful and a lot of fun, we were certainly compatible in bed and we shared many of the same interests. She adored Mickey and they got along well. This was a case where my perception of Rachael could not possibly change.

The night before we were to dock, Rachael and I had spent several hours in bed together. She seemed highly agitated and couldn't seem to get enough of me. I had no complaints but I finally had to ask her what was wrong. We were laying together, just recovering from a bout of mind-blowing sex.

"Rachael, love, tell me what's going on. I know you're upset about something. Did I do or say something wrong?"

She reached for my arm and pulled it tight to her breast as she looked at me. She finally seemed to come to some conclusion.

"Stuart, do you remember when Susan introduced me as her Aunt Rachael? Well, she forgot to tell you there was an Uncle Jack. I'm married. My husband's name is Jack Willows."

I was stunned! Married? She had no ring. She never mentioned a husband. I was in shock! I wasn't able to say anything. I just stared at her with my mouth open and my cock deflating like a pricked balloon.

"I'm sorry to tell you like this. I wasn't going to but I'm afraid that I'm beginning to fall in love with you and I can't let that happen. I'll try to explain to you what's going on."

"First, I never expected to meet anyone like you. This cruise was just supposed to give me time to cool down and time away from Jack to try to decide what I want to do. You see, I found out that Jack was cheating on me with his secretary. How lame is that? Well, we had a furious argument and I made him leave the house. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and we hadn't had time to talk about it. I just wanted him gone."

She got up and slipped on her robe. I hated to see her cover up that wonderful body but I guess under the circumstances, it was probably best. I followed suit and went to get some coffee from the decanter on the counter. We could both use some.

"I finally got my temper under control and we talked. He swore it was over and that he never wanted me to find out. He apologized and promised to do anything I wanted, like marriage counseling and such. I listened but I wasn't sure what he could do that would make things right. I told him to move back home but to stay in the guest room. We have no children so it wasn't an issue for us."

"It was about that time that my sister Paula, Susan's mother, called to ask me if I wanted to take a cruise free. All I would have to do was share the cruise with Susan and sort of watch her. She told me about Michelle and you and made it seem like a free vacation. I saw it as time away from Jack and time to think."

She stopped to see how I was taking this. I have to admit, I was beginning to become interested in where this was going. We had shared a wild and wonderful couple of weeks or more together and I would welcome her into my life on a more permanent basis but that was if she wanted it. I still wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"You were so wonderful Stuart, and very attractive and I thought to myself that this might be a way to even the score with Jack. I admit that at the beginning that was what I wanted. That's why I told you to take me the first time hard and fast. I wanted it to be partly out of my control, and less like cheating willingly. You did it, and I was grateful that you tried to be rough with me but you couldn't. It was actually very sweet. You made my betrayal of my marriage vows as pleasant and painless as it could possibly have been. I will always remember you that way. And the sex was really fantastic. I think you were even better than Jack. But, he's my husband and I promised for better or worse. This affair of his was him at his worst. I have to forgive him and try again."

"I need for you to forgive me for deceiving you. I have loved every minute of my time with you and I will never regret one minute. I hope you can forgive me for using you and remember me fondly. I know that I will always love you a little."

Now that it was out, I wasn't sure how to react. I was falling in love by the end of the first week and I had convinced myself that this was going to be the woman for me. I had visions of our life together and I was beginning to be happy again. My beliefs had once again failed me. My perception of Rachael and our future was wrong.

"Rachael. I understand and I do forgive you. I hate it, because I also was falling in love with you but I know that you have to try again. That's who you are and I respect that. I won't wish you luck because I honestly hope you will come back to me if it doesn't work out."

"Thank you Stu. I want you to know how much this time has meant to me. I think you were the perfect person to help me to find my way back. I knew after the first few days that I could trust you completely. I should have been honest with you but I didn't think you could do what we did if you had known I was married. You're just not that kind of guy and I don't want you to feel guilty now. I took advantage of you. But, I'll never forget you."

Well, we got dressed and went to find the girls. This last night we would spend as friends rather than as lovers. It was only right and I probably would have had problems now that I knew she was married. I honestly hoped that she would get tired of that son of a bitch she was married to and give me a call. I gave her all of my numbers and she promised to call anyway just to let me know how things were going. She even hinted that we could get together again after we docked if I wanted. I wanted but didn't tell her that. She needed to have a clear head to deal with her marriage. I actually hoped it worked for her down deep in my heart. Shit!

Number Four: Sherrie

Well, the boat docked and we all parted before going ashore. Rachael told me that Jack would be there to pick her up and she would just as soon not have him see or meet me. He would probably get very suspicious when he saw me. I agreed, kissed her privately before we left the deck and wished her well. I reminded her of my numbers and told her to keep them safe. She promised to call in a week, just to update me. I watched her walk up to the railing on the top deck to join Susan and Mickey. I stayed back in the shadows as they looked out and Mickey seemed to understand. She came back to stand with me and we waited a reasonable time after the boat docked before leaving the boat ourselves.

At home, Mickey contacted all of her friends and I contacted my receptionist to schedule my appointments for the next week. I was back to work, still single and still confused. As a high-priced shrink, my ability to understand and predict women was really piss poor. At least when they applied to me. I seemed to have no trouble fixing other people's problems but my own? No dice.

Things went as normal for the next two years. We had taken a couple of vacations since the cruise but always together and never with another chaperone. I was just as happy since I was not ready to try again. After one crappy marriage and two aborted relationships and probably three dozen one or two date tries, I was convinced that I was doomed to die single. Mickey always told me that I was too picky about women and wanted to fix me up with some of her friend's single mothers. I declined. She gave up.

Graduation was coming up soon and Mickey and I began to make the tour of colleges. She was bright as hell and her high school grades were always top notch. Her SATs were very good and she had her choice of all of the top schools. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go but she was leaning toward Princeton. She had a girlfriend that had gone there the year before and she sent Mickey pictures and brochures and all the stuff she needed to give her the bug. I had no problem since that was where I graduated from but it was not my place to guide her that way. Sure. If you believe that . . .

I wanted to be sure that I had all of the paperwork in place for Mickey's tuition. It was to be paid out of the trust fund that I had set up for her all those years ago. It was more than sufficient to pay all of her bills and I had a trustee arrangement with my law firm and they would handle all of the payments. The trustee assigned was a woman by the name of Sherrie Duquesne. She was about five years younger than me, very attractive in a sexy kind of way, fairly tall at 5"8". She had very interesting eyes, a gold/brown that seemed to have some kind of gold flecks that sparkled when she smiled and reddish blonde hair. I had never seen that combination before and it hit me like a ton of bricks. But of course, you see where this is going. I always fell like a ton of bricks for certain women. None of them were the right women but how the hell did I know that? I know what you think: as a trained Psychiatrist, I should know people. I should be able to tell a lot about them just by talking and listening. Doesn't work for me!

Anyway, I worked with Sherrie for a few weeks, setting up targets and preset spending limits and we wanted to issue a couple of credit cards as well with limits and presets. She was very good at her job and we were able to have everything in place before Mickey and I set out to investigate Princeton. I liked her and she seemed to like me but we kept it all business. I was still not willing to put it out there like I did with Helen and Rachael. Karen was another story.

Mickey and I flew into Newark, NJ and rented a car for the trip south to Princeton. Princeton University was in the town of Princeton, NJ and the trip from Newark took only about an hour or so, down the NJ turnpike to exit 8a. I drove down 13 for a ways and then crossed over through Plainsboro to Rt. 1 and we were there. We had reservations at the Sheraton on Route 1 for the evening and we wanted to take some time to see the campus and the town. We were on a tight schedule because I had a couple of court appearances scheduled for later in the week. I wanted to get as much done tomorrow as I could. We made it to the hotel and checked in. Neither of us was tired even though it was three hours later here than at home. So, at 7:00 p.m. that evening we were driving around Princeton and looking at the wonderful old brick buildings. We went down Faculty Place, along the river where so many of the sculling races took place and found a parking place so we could walk up into the campus. It was all I remembered it to be and it brought back some very sweet memories. I was pleased to see that Mickey was as taken by it as I was. I took her past the house where Albert Einstein lived when he taught there. We spent an hour or so just looking around before heading back to the hotel. We stopped for something to eat at a Ruby Tuesday's nearby before resting up for tomorrow.

The next day went very well. Mickey saw the campus, talked with the Registrar and I arranged with one of the professors that I had remained in touch with for a tour. Mickey loved it and we finished the day with her pretty much sold on Princeton. I was pleased and tired but ready for the trip home that evening. We made the trip to Newark, turned in the car and got to the airport with time to spare. We made it home by late that night but both of us were satisfied. It had been a great trip and I enjoyed the time with my daughter. We still enjoyed each other and that was a great gift in itself.

*********

The school year passed and Mickey graduated with honors. I went to graduation as a proud father and was proud as hell when she walked across that stage. I couldn't help but stand up and clap. I wasn't alone! I was surprised and shocked to see Karen standing up and watching our daughter receive her diploma! I had no idea she was coming and no idea she even knew we were alive. I looked inside myself to see what I felt and was pleased to find nothing there that I couldn't control. Karen was just a woman I used to know and someone who knew Mickey. Sure she was. I remained for the rest of the ceremony, still glowing with pride for my little girl.

After the ceremony, I walked over to where she was standing and spoke to her in a surprisingly steady voice. "Hello Karen. I'm surprised to see you here. How did you know about Mickey's graduation? Did someone invite you?"

"Hello Stuart. It's good to see you looking so well. It's been almost 15 years, hasn't it? Yes, I was invited. Michelle invited me. I guess you didn't know that she and I have stayed in contact over the years. Just to exchange addresses, nothing more. I'm surprised you didn't know."

"No, I didn't, but then that was between you and Mickey. She had every right to invite you. I may have if I had known where you were."

"I very much doubt that, but thanks for understanding. I have my own shop now, in the valley. I help professional decorators with acquiring rare antiques and other amenities for those with the money to pay. But you have no need to worry. I have no intention of interfering in my daughter's life. I gave that right away some time ago. I just wanted to see her graduate. You have done a wonderful job raising her by yourself. Congratulations."

"Thank you. She's a wonderful kid and I couldn't be more proud. She's probably told you she's been accepted at Princeton for this fall. It was her choice but I was pleased. We went back to see it a few months ago and she fell in love with it, just as I hoped she would."

"Well, that must have been a pleasant surprise for you. Your old alma mater. Well, she'll do well. She got your brains."

"And your looks. Thank God."

We both laughed a little but we had exhausted our reservoir of small talk. Karen gave me her card with her contact numbers but she only suggested that I keep it for emergencies, not for keeping in touch. I was spared from any more reminiscing by the arrival of Mickey, Sarah in tow. She came directly up to us.

"Hi you two. I see you found each other. Dad, I'm going to lunch with mom and Sarah. Do you want to join us?"

She looked hopeful but I quickly squelched that.

"No thanks. You guys go and have fun. I'll see you at home later?"

She agreed with a sad smile and then they were gone. I was still trying to recover from my shock when I heard a voice behind me.

"Who was that woman with Mickey? I've never seen her before. Someone you know?"

It was Sherrie. She had come to the graduation. Again, I was surprised. It seemed this was the day for surprises. I wouldn't have been shocked to see Helen or Rachael at this point.

"Hi, Sherrie. I didn't know you were coming to Mickey's graduation. Did she invite you too?"

"As a matter of fact, she did. I wanted to be here anyway since it's the beginning of a new time for her. I remember mine like it was yesterday. What's up?"

"Well, that woman was Mickey's mother, Karen. I haven't seen or talked to her for about 15 years. I didn't even know where she was living but apparently Mickey did. She invited her too."

"I see. Well, this is an important time for Mickey and I guess she wanted her mother to see it. I don't blame her, but she probably should have alerted you to this possibility. Do you think she had more in mind?"

"I have no idea. I know nothing about Karen's life now and don't care. She and I were divorced for reasons that I won't go into, but suffice it to say I have no interest in any contact with her. But that's enough about her. What about you? Do you have any plans for the rest of the morning? Seems I'm free for a while. Want to grab a bite to eat?"

"I'd love it. I'm alone so we can leave anytime. Should I follow you?"

"Why not just come with me and I'll bring you back for your car later."

We went to a small restaurant that I frequented and had a delightful lunch and conversation. While Sherrie and I had spent several hours together going over the trust for Mickey, we had not spent any time together outside the law offices. This was a pleasant first visit and I found that I enjoyed her company. We got to know a lot about each other. For instance, she had been married once before, just as I had. The reasons for her divorce were similar to mine, except that her husband had cheated where my wife was the wandering spouse. She had been divorced for just more than five years to my 15. She had no children and the divorce was amicable. They remained friends but not close.

As she talked, I found myself admiring the view. She was a remarkably beautiful woman and I had fallen for that hair color of hers. She wore it loose today, flowing across her shoulders and down her back. I wanted to run my fingers through it just watching her toss her head as she talked. She had the habit of pushing it back from her face as she got excited. When she looked at me, I was stunned by her eyes and those gold flecks that caught the lights. I was smitten. As usual.