Regaining Control

She wrapped her arms around my neck and tried to squeeze the life out of me while tears silently rolled down her cheeks. I kissed her and climbed off her slowly. I cleaned up the kitchen, messed around on the computer for a while and then turned in a little early. When Laura came to bed, she kissed me on the cheek and held my hand for a while before turning over and going to sleep.

I was working out, losing weight, eating right. I had control of my money and getting sex every night. It's amazing how much an orgasm every night helps you sleep. Then again, it could be my body was retreating into unconsciousness after I beat it into submission five days a week. Things were going so well that I knew they couldn't last.

The doorbell rang Tuesday night at 7:20. I was closest, so I opened the door. "Hello, Glenn."

"Hello, John."

I imagine we would have stood staring at each other across the threshold all night. Thankfully, Laura arrived to break the ice. "Hi, Glenn. Come on in." I noticed Glenn was carrying a manila envelope. It was easy to guess what was in it.

Laura took the envelope from Glenn and handed it to me. "Here are Glenn's test results," she said.

I walked back into the living room as I opened the envelope. "Thanks. You two have fun." The report said Glenn was clean. The TV was a welcome diversion. I was surprised at how well I handled the encounter. I had been expecting it, but I had done my best to avoid direct contact with Glenn.

He did come and offer me his hand when he left. I looked at it as if he were offering me a dead fish. "I'm sorry, Glenn. I can't shake your hand. I don't have any respect for you."

He withdrew his hand slowly. "I don't see any difference in what you're doing to Laura."

"I didn't do it to her behind her back."

All he could do was turn and leave.

I tried to fuck the shit out of Alex that night. It was a real grudge fuck. I pounded her every way I could imagine without regard for her pleasure or her needs. I'm pretty sure she enjoyed the hell out of it anyway. I lost about ten minutes of sleep over the whole ordeal.

It took six weeks for Laura to run out of money. It is a testament to how far she had come that she even lasted that long. She walked in the dining room while I had financial stuff spread out all over the table. "Laura, I need $478.56 to cover your part of the bills."

She came to a halt as I spoke. You would have thought I had struck her. "I don't have it."

I have been planning this conversation out in my head for weeks now. "How much do you have?"

"A little over two hundred."

"I'll need $150 of it, and you are going to start paying me the instant you get paid, at least until you get caught up."

"But, that only leaves me fifty dollars for a week!"

"Yes, it does."

"I can't make fifty dollars last until the end of the week."

"You're going to have to figure out how to make it last."

"How much does Alex give you out of her paycheck?"

"All of it." That gave her pause. I could hear the wheels turning in her head.

I did some calculations. At the rate I was squirreling away money, we could afford a really nice vacation this year. "Where do you want to go on vacation this year, Laura?"

She walked over and sat down across from me. I knew we were going to have a serious conversation by the look on her face. "We need to talk, John."

"Ok."

"I need you to hear me out and let me finish." Laura gathered herself. "I hate Alex... She is a wonderful person. She is kind, and giving, and sweet, and she places others before herself, and I hate her. I hate her, and I hate you. You have brought another woman into our home and I hate you. You have saved her, and picked her up when she was down and given her what she needed when I know you didn't want to. You are cheating on me with her and I hate you. I hate you and I hate me. I hate me for cheating on you and causing you the pain that you are causing me. I have never really understood the phrase 'I know how you feel' until now. You and Alex are wonderful people and I hate her and I hate you and I hate me and I don't want to go on like this. I want a divorce. I won't contest it."

I sat there, shocked for a moment. "You've really thought about this." Laura nodded her head.

My attorney was shocked when I asked him to draw up the divorce documents again. No fault, all assets divided right down the middle. I'll help Laura until she can get her feet underneath her. I'm happy. That's the important thing. I'm in control now.