All Comments on 'Return of a Princess Ch. 02'

I'm not sure what to make of this storyline now. Seems a bit rushed in my opinion. There's hardly any character developement. The Queen and the faux princess are introduced then swept off to jail; the King and Lil rush off to have sex, etc. It's ok to have a few chapters with no sex scenes in order to unfold the storyline to draw the reader in and develop the characters so that the reader may fall in love (or hate) with them. Also, please read the comments on your first chapter about getting an editor. I think it would greatly enhance your writing. I believe your imagination is there but your writing just needs to catch up.

This would be a wonderful story if you developed the characters a bit. Slow down tell the story not the outline and please get an editor it would do wonders for what you've already posted.

This story was fair, but it could have been great, and you are the writer who can make it great. Don't rush, get an editor to help, and you will become the writer we all want you to be. Above all, hang in there and keep writing!

this story is going well. I do really like it and ejoy it. And this is just my opinion, but maybe slow it down a bit. It does seem like you are rushing into so many thing. :) But again, i really do like and i hope you continue asap.

this story is going well. I do really like it and ejoy it. And this is just my opinion, but maybe slow it down a bit. It does seem like you are rushing into so many thing. :) But again, i really do like and i hope you continue asap.

sent for scent, for one. I too think you should slow down and give more character develpment. They seem a bit flat. You've got promise, just maybe find an editor and don't be so fast to get to the meat of the story.