All Comments on 'Right Over There'

by AngelSaint

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Perfect

PERRFFEECCTTTTT

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
so sexy

I wanna try this!

BurningMonkeyBurningMonkeyabout 10 years ago
Ended too soon, and too abruptly. :(

You need to put some "finish" on this piece, like a good wine. Don't just end after the cumshot, add a taper-off at the end. It doesn't have to be long, a sentence or two just to round it out. It's like watching Star Wars and having the movie end abruptly right after the Death Star blows up.

Otherwise a good read. Keep writing!

Anonymous
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