by Navy_Fox
Great job! I loved it, very vivid and exciting!
What is it with some people? Why on earth does someone always suggest that the story would be furthered by the woman getting pregnant? What is erotic about two lustful strangers enjoying pure uncomplicated sex ending up with a child no-one wants?
not for a first submission at least. just try to add more of a plot next time, you definitely have potential.
When you write, try not to assume that all of your readers are horny teenagers. I gave up on this story after the amateurish opening paragraphs of your story.
the Ct. Yankee
Chapter two is in order here. Perhaps they can continue with her wanting to get pregnant?
The flow of passion was just right, and the 'coming back down to earth' as well. Chapter 2 could be just as good!
Roger B
I enjoyed the instantaneous hotter-than-hot event. Carry it on to the next chapter.
Can't wait for the next part of the story - Please let there be another part.