All Comments on 'Shalyn's Story'

I don't know the rest of the story, but this is a good start. But, that's about it. It's just a start. The only major problem I had with this, was there were too many people being introduced without context. This is going to either be a medum to long story, or you don't have the story arch thought out yet. either way, you need to focus on the point of the story. But, this is just my two cents worth. Happy writing!

Although I don't yet really know the jest of the story, I'm intrigued. You have put alot of info into this first chapter. Whether it's characters, locations, or the folklore, you have given me enough to peek my curiosity. Since chapter 2 posted today I'm going to read it and hopefully get a better feel for your story. I would like to say congrats on your first story, and regardless of how I end up feeling about your story, I hope you have a successful writing career!

This is a great first chapter! You word things so much better than many people on this site, although it wouldn't hurt to describe a new character when introduced. Keep up the outstanding work!