All Comments on 'Someone Will Die'

A sad tale, but the cheaters paid.

Being on the wrong corner of a love triangle. Been there ...

Write in the third person, or the first, but not a mix of both. If you chose 3rd person for this story you would have had to flesh out the narrative and make it smoother. A good beginning. Keep writing.

I was in the Corps. I was a sniper with actual kills before there were sniper teams. I was alone doing my job for my guys. I am now a shrink. If we had anyone who would behave like this we would have kicked his ass out of the squad or fire team and made sure he was discharged. The punishment needs to fit the crime and this fantasy is way over the top for everyone who has moral development more mature than 8 years. And yes I have been betrayed by women more than once, not as much as JPB however. One time it was a classic. I got crabs. Her reply was I did not think it counted if I was out of town. The revenge I ensured myself was consistent with the sin. The above is just ridiculous. The writer is excused because he realizes it is his fantasy therapy. THe others not so much.

Revenge stories like this are a crock of shit. Period.

dont we all wish there was a drug like that...yes i agree if your spouse cheats let it fit the crime...n damn lol that would sure fit the crime...when a wife or lover cheats...that is worse that death...so in that respect i really think they got off cheap..we need more stories just like this...maybe if we had drugs like this n cheaters had it happen to them a few times we may have less cheating...think

Excellent i just love it when the punishment fits the crime.Please write some more of this type of story there is too much of the roll over and forgive.I know it is just fiction but i do love to see the good guy win just once and awhile .please keep up the good work.

The only problem is that when my parents were kids Society "knew" that all tales should be moral building and designed to be imitated. In trying to entertain ourselves we help some think about things that will cause them problems.

I would first like to point out that the story as told is a flash story with a lot of repetition to fill it out. The repetition gets a bit boring. And then point out that there is a horrible detail. In order to get his revenge he killed a third person who nothing to do with her betrayal. Just because it was a South American whore is not a reason for handing out collateral damage.

The only missing element for me was clarification about why Greg and "the slut" disrespected him so much. Nicely done. Thanks.

I DO condone murder . For anybody that cheats , rapes , breaks into your house , anybody in a gang , or is a pedophile , a few more , but you get the picture . Well written , I loved it . Keep on writing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we need more like this . Too bad they dont have public hangings anymore like they did in the 1800's . I think people today have things too easy and need a dose of reality . My girl is from an eastern block country , and she thinks we in general are very sadly an over permissive , self indulgent , frivolous people . She thinks if we had to live like she grew up , we would be more appreciative of what we have and do what is right , and not do things just because we can . I have to agree .

One you switched between first person and third person a lot.

For example you started off the story in first person telling it from the vantage of the wife. Then you switched to the betrayed husband, not bad, but then you put everyone in third person by referring to the wife as "she" and "her" when she spoke. That made it kinda of hard to follow.

Later I realized there were "four" people in the room, but that made it even harder to know what was going on with the wife when you moved back and forth like that. When you refer to others by their names and pronouns when they speak, it puts them in third person. When you switch back and forth with "me" and "I" when a character speaks it switches back again.

Doing that a lot becomes very confusing over time.

The story was, uhhhmmm, disturbing, but I don't speak for everyone or what they would do (^_^).

But once you get the tenses down (I know how hard it is because I'm still working on them) you'll get the hang of it >=)

Laters.

-Risq

It is curious that 99% of cheating spouses both male and female are under the illusion that they still love their partner while cheating on their partner. I don't really understand the logic on that one.

As for the story? A good old fashioned revenge story. Not many frills but still that's what is was supposed to be. Anyway thanks for the story. I hope you write more in the style.

Stories like this require the reader to step into a different world, like watching a James Bond movie. If the reader is willing the story moves along. If not, the story seems silly. Accepting the story in the world in which it was written I enjoyed it. He booby trapped them and gave them multiple chances to save themselves. They are slimy people and of course didn't care about him or feel guilty at all so they reaped the reward they deserved. Yeah, a death penalty is over the top, but that's what happens in the world of James Bond.

Thanks for the bit of right wing revenge!! It makes up for the wimp hubby stories mis-categorized on loving wives I accidentally read.

Some will call it unrealistic. This could happen as easily as any other story here. We hate to admit it, but the things in the stories here have happened many times. Even the unbelievable ones. I was told in my early teens to never fuck a married woman, a shotgun would be the result. In my early twenties I slept with a woman who was separated and a couple of weeks away from divorce. It was all on the level. Her soon to be ex was moving again, so she let him store a few things at her house. I knocked on the door one day and was greeted with him pointing a pistol at my head. He was a cop. I smiled and walked away. He could not handle the fact that his marriage was over. The men in my family were wrong. It wasn't a shotgun, it was a pistol. Common sense told me never to do it again. If the consequences of fucking around were harsher people would not do it. The men who fuck married women will one day find a man who will pull the trigger. It is not a question of if, it is a question of when. All this is fine on a porn site, but reality is much different. I liked the story.

Thank you for drawing me into your weird world...a very fun short story. I loved the intensity and insanity! Do you people really exist?

Dude; this is rad stuff; who says that revenge is a dish best served cold (I know, I know Shakespeare said it, but anyway). And don't be so sure that the black ops assassination unit doesn't exist. I had a friend one time, started out in Marine Recon; he had some really weird shit stories to tell when he got good & drunk.....

do exist , every nation that is a nation has them . This interpretation is fictional but they do exist in one form or another .The Soviets made no bones about it .

I love a happy ending! I thought it was just an outstanding story and do hope you write and post many, many more.

I found that one comment about "Right Wing" revenge story to be really interesting. I didn't realize that revenge was a political attribute. I always regarded the Lefties of the world as a bunch of pantywaists and faggots, so maybe the analogy does fit.

Thanks for a great story. Definitely a Five Star read!

They Both Got What They Deserved.

Too Bad there is No BFF.

....and fuck you all if you think a streetwalker in Rio is sub-human. This plot's level of response does not match the infraction and that fucking decimates ANY righteousness it pretends to. I'm very sorry about your first wife and I am all for death but at least have the bitch whore herself out to her family for years and infect him with aids or something a bit more harsh. It makes you look like a wimp to me that you reacted this "stridently". That's not being tough folks. Overreacting is lame, weak and wimpish. Perifuckingod. And definitely not Black ops strategy. This shit called for castration and female genital mutilation at best. (I make no apologies for being a purist.)I gave it 4 stars though because this site needs writers with your slant.

...how come it's always conservatives that are caught wearing those pantywaists????

A little over the top but the writing was good and it was fun to read. PPPete, I'm not sure what you are referring to when you say you are a purist (genital mutilation?) but I do know one thing that if the liberals had there way, sure as shooting you would be shooting blanks. So, Pete you would not be packing , anymore, you socialist. Good news, though, I hear they still want Pelosie to lead the Dems in congress as the minority speaker for the next two years. That's great news for us conservatives. I figure by 2012 almost every Dem in the country will cross the isle. Remember, "You have to vote yes on the Bill before you can see what's in it" She needs to give Americans more credit.

They both sucked. Writing was o k, but the story line sucked. I can only speak for myself. Good luck on future stories.

what a genius you are. ???

But, that being said, the cheaters killed themselves so I would say it was suicide not murder. While BFF is a fictional disease as is this story, there are STDs out there that will kill you just as dead-- albiet slower.

I love the Figment of your Imagination. Keep letting your Imagination go like this and Reading will be Wonderful.

A well written story with a lot of thought used to write it.

Thanks for the read

Everyone should die... even the victimized husband for coming up with such an over the top revenge. I did like that it was self inflicted, but at the cost of a human life?

Next time start by keeping your character's point of view straight. Would at least help the readability.

great story, good revenge and the best thing is the husband's not a pussy

Seemed juvenile fantasy. I saw the title of this many times and ignored it just on that basis. Having read '...And Stay There' I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.

Predictable and the switching of POV made it not particularly easy to read.

Not sure what happened to your writing style between the two stories but this is definitely the worse of the two.

The wife is telling the story, but then she dies or at least becomes a paralyzed mute who can't hear. So how is she telling the story? Wouldn't it have been better to tell the whole story from the husband's POV?

payback is bad but lack of it is worse. TK U MLJ LV NV

HA!

... being a whore is worthy of painful death? He injected an innocent woman, insofar as the prostitute had done him no harm, to infect and kill the cheaters.

Personally, I think his wife cheating on him was a pretty good 'reward' for being a murdering assassin. But that is just me..

i liked it, as far as the whore getting killed. doesnt bother me a bit. im sure all whores have broken up at least a few marriages. they are only after money anyway.

...most whores in Mexico and South America were forced into the role. Usually after they had been kidnapped and repeatedly raped. In their cultures it makes them unmarriable. And no, they don't break up marriages because wives are also unmarriable as they are no longer virgins. Only incredibly rich women can pull another husband. It is considered a sign of virility if the man has many women on his chain, though. Love the double standards...

So, basically, what you are saying is some poor girl who was kidnapped, raped, and forced into a life of prostitution deserved to die a horrible death. Wow. You really are a good person, TechRaider!

I just want to expound a little

Both asshole and slut were properly warned what would happen. They did not listen.

Lesson learned.

Don't cheat with your husband's best friend.

Someone will die.

OH YEAH

Death The great equalizer

More ........

Five stars - six if they were available.

Tsik Tseks is the disease a guy gets from infected Chinese prostitutes (females are carriers, but have no reaction)! Makes a large sore on penis (even if only cunnilingus happened) and fever and pain. Most Western doctors recommend immediate penile amputation. Most Asian doctors think that is extreme and unnecessary...after a week, the dick will fall off anyway!

THAT would be a more appropriate revenge (at least for Greg!).

4*

"A Few Good Men!" And the rest of them are psychopathic poseurs trying to live out their delusions of having overcome teen-age rage and inadequacy. And sadly, as they repeatedly tell us, there are no ex-Marines: It's a lifetime affliction.

Thanks for the offering.

Is GOOD -

To ASSume that every nice guy in the world is a doormat is beyond foolish - almost every human (minus the Saints) has a limit or a button that when pushed causes a violent reaction , often irrational. When someone is nice enough to tell you what that button is - you are an ass to challenge fate by pushing it and get what you deserve.

He gave them both every chance to live right up to simply deciding to end the affair - he is right they did it to themselves - the innocent hooker was more than a bit unfair I agree LOL

please write a sequel write maybe her response as a ghost her watching her husband does she feel guilty or not?

then our good Mike, also must have murdered the hooker in Brazil as well? Not very nice of him.

are always the best. TK U MLJ LV NV

The Fantasy was a fun one for anyone who knows how to hate.... The author says he does not condone murder but he certainly likes to write about snuff. Since I am very ancient, I find that I was brought up in a culture where this could come under the heading of justifiable homicide.

While extremely derogatory, your meaning is unclear. I'm getting on in years, and as yet I haven't experienced the psychological delusions you described. Can you hold out any hope for me? I was only on active duty for four years; and for two of those years I was in schools on Navy and Air Force bases being trained in advanced electronics. I'm hoping that because I was only stationed at an actual Marine base for two years; and then was able to be hired as an electronic engineer for a medical device manufacturer, that I might escape the ravages of dementia you allude to.

A little extreme but they were warned. I like to re-read the old BTB tales as it makes me feel all warm inside. The cheaters get theirs and I'm happy.

I'm also quite insane don't you know.

but till now I had not seen it to this degree.

There is literally nothing wrong with killing people that betray you.

24 years in the Corps and I never once got to off a tango with an unknown disease. Damn, now I feel cheated! Well play, game set and match. Mercy is for the deserving and wasted on the cheaters.

MorganDeWolfe

Yes, this story was definitely over the top, but it was still enjoyable. As long as the cheaters lose and the non-cheaters win, I'm happy. Don't condone the killing but not to broken up about it. They were so disrespectful. Felt sorry for the hooker that was sacrificed...that was bad. Should have figured a way to save her. Thanks for the story.

As you can tell by the rating I gave your story. The thing I liked is that this is one story where the husband, didn't say " was so turned on watching them fuck " he did something about it, in one of the most unusual ways. For the whore and his suppose to be friend, I say to bad, they got what they deserved. again loved this, your story.

But, that's what made it so GD enjoyable.

Should be in humor.

The hooker didn't deserve to die. And also, She's a hooker. what about the other customers she has. Do they deserve to die also.

pretty bad...

he's such a pussy ass little man Gave you a5

really great

The whore arranged in Rio should have been a rampant STD carrier, including HIV positive. She should have met Greg as soon as he got there so that she could give him the diseases in bucket loads. Then when Greg returns he infects Jessica. Mike comes up with any number of excuses to stop having sex with Jessica, which she doesn't really mind since she's horse fucking Greg. Somehow Greg gets notified that the whore in Rio has died of AIDS, and he is instructed to get tested and to notify all sex partners, which he doesn't do. Then, due to his failure to respond, Greg's employer is notified that Greg may be HIV positive, and Mike tells him he must get tested. In later conversation, Mike just happens to mention to Jessica that Greg has been found to be HIV positive, and must notify all his sex partners, who then must notify all their sex partners. Jessica panics, but does not tell Mike she has been fucking Greg and may herself be HIV positive.

Mike suddenly announces that he is ready to have sex with Jessica, which she agrees to, rather than admit she has been fucking Greg. She simply hopes she is not HIV positive. Mike video tapes their preparation to have sex, giving Jessica every opportunity to warn him she may be HIV positive. Just before they are to have sex, Mike stops, then hands her the divorce papers, telling her, she knows why.

In the divorce Mike takes Jessica to the cleaners, warning her that if she contests the divorce he will have her prosecuted for attempting to knowingly pass HIV infection to him. Jessica leaves the marriage financially and physically wrecked. She and Greg continue to fuck since they have no one else, until one or both dies from Aids. Mike moves on to find a real woman to love and live out his life.

Less complicated and messy than the BFF disease scenario.

The trouble with the HIV scenario below is that Greg has already proved he would fuck anyone alive wearing a skirt. He would probably infect innocent people before he found out the results. That's assuming he has a conscience. Good story I thought. A shame that BFF doesn't exist hahaha.

very much. A happy ending is always appreciated and as always, nice guys finish last. Or at least those two "finished" before he did. And as for the dumbass who said that all Marines are demented and delusional fucks I will say this. When the shit begins to hit the oscillator it's these "demented" fucks that I want on either side of me. You can face it on your own, Youngfart. In your mind you will be in better company until the end. And so will I.

Thanks for the read.

No misspellings, no grammatical errors, no emotion, no feeling, no real imagination, and therefore, no real story.

Hoorah!

they should know, they do know and still do. TK U MLJ LV NV

But what kind of fucked up person is he to infect an innocent hooker and subject her to this horrible death.

Her life was screwed up enough being who she was....

I know it is just a story. Stories can convey universal truths. One is that at times a person can think that adultery is so terrible that to harm the one committing adultery it is ok to infect someone so as to infect the lover then spouse. That is real sick.

As someone who actually did have assignments to take out targets and one who has knowledge of others, fellow Marines, who did also. None of us could have managed 450. We would have been fucking crazy probably drooling. A person can take only so much of that kind of life and taking of life and it overcomes you. For 40 years I could not talk about it and now 50 years later I can put the message on a screen but not without turmoil in my stomach. Till recently I was under the terms of my discharge that I could not tell anyone of the circumstances of those trips.

I cannot understand many of the crazies on this site who have such emotions about adultery. It hurts like hell but it is not equal to kill someone for it. Yeh I can see the crime of passion situation but to plan it no way. Just put her out of your life.

Even WITHOUT the offers to take her on the trips, doesn’t she think HE got lonely, too? Would she let that excuse HIM from getting some strange? And fucking his supposed FRIEND?!

“she was in denial that he would cheat on her,” – Why do they never think, “He’ll cheat WITH you, he’ll cheat ON you!”

“She couldn't very well enjoy it, if she knew that she'd broken Mike's heart by confessing her affair with Greg.” – She’s not SUPPOSED to DO it, let alone “enjoy” it!

And I agree with the criticisms of the person shifts. While the story was well-written enough that is was still fairly easy to follow, it made it harder than it needed to be.

having been in the navy 20 years and divorced twice because they cheated when I was overseas I used to fantasize about it. I used to think of them giving each other the clap or some other std. oh well, all's well when they end up in hell.

5's

I like a burned cheater but this was just stupid and badly written.

While I would never condone such treatment as death for adultery, it has historical precedence. It's harsh, but it is also emotionally satisfying from a sense of ultimate justice for wanton betrayal. Have to say as a fantasy story, I liked it!!!

Even though I have belittled you, given away what is yours, lied to you, disrespected you, deliberately deceived you, and broken our vows.

Yeah right!

Great BTB story. Traitors must die!

When they are caught they are taken out and shot. Why is that ok but it's not ok to kill some one who personally betrays you? Would that I had the means and opportunities years ago. Thanks for the feel good story! Added it to my faves.

There's been many diseases used for this kind of work. The kill squads however- usually called "Sniper Teams"- are usually between 2 to 6 men depending on the mission. The private sector has them also- you can start with Vince Foster and work your way forward with all the dead bodies Hillary Clinton has left behind.

special forces and cold blooded people don't talk too much

I thought paralysis was the final stage before death, that the burning pain, blindness and deafness came first?

Why do so many of these wives say they love their husbands' sweet love, but also sometimes like to just get fucked, but never think to ask their husbands to "just fuck" them?

That kind of work in now contracted out. Many times it is teams or individuals from former Eastern Bloc Nation. Or at least is was up to 10 years ago. I would imagine today it is a large mixture of different Ethnic teams and individuals involved.

I have an answer about the hooker in Brazil. She wasn't infected with symptoms, she was a carrier. She gave it to Greg, our sad husband's best friend who, of course, passed it on to our wonderful, loving, faithful wife. Ahhh, the perfect love story. And they died happily ever after.

Fiction. All possibilities are available.

Five Stars

by Anonymous

06/29/18

No killer squads, either............ anymore. At least not American Military.

That kind of work in now contracted out. Many times it is teams or individuals from former Eastern Bloc Nation. Or at least is was up to 10 years ago. I would imagine today it is a large mixture of different Ethnic teams and individuals involved.

GUESS AGAIN MR. NAIVE!

DON'T YOU REMEMBER OSAMA BIN LADEN AND THE NAVY SEALS?

They never intended to take him alive, why bother?

That is only what they admit to, lots more that they don't!

The Russians are doing it all the time with their chemical and bio weapons. Just look at the Brits they've killed lately.

Just a revenge fantasy, but a damned good one. What better revenge than to tell the cheaters exactly what you've done, and describe in excruciating detail what is going to happen to them. BFF would be a tough way to go, wouldn't it? If you're going to have a fantasy, make it a good one.

This actually can be healthy. You can live vicariously through reading (or writing) this, without actually doing something you could go to jail for. It gives you a way to channel your anger...

Cause she was a hooker?

Far out bit too much

But liked punishment except hooker

3 stars

If Mike killed her, how could she be narrating?

After reading the comment from Anonymous 05/23/19, it occurs to me that the answer to his question becomes obvious once you accept the premise that she "ghost wrote" the story. ;)

Hell, if we go around killing all adulteresses, it's going to be a fucking lonely world!

No one says “... I [was a] member of a top secret elite team...” if they are on such a team.

And no one would knowingly risk bringing BFF into the US, even IF at that juncture it was spread only by bodily fluids. Now the incoming EMTs and other medical personnel are at risk of contracting it also; there are always needle sticks, and coughing and spitting. IF it was a was a well studied... no, I know it was for the sack of the story. I guess it’s like the people who bitch about the wrong calibre used in a pistol, or some non-sensical law procedure, or wrong year for a given model car. Having been loosely associated in the infectious disease field has ME going on about disease vectors used in a fiction story. So... never mind.

Other than the disease vector, this is still a weak story. 3-stars

Should have come up with a way to just to paralyze them. Let them look at each other while you keep them alive for a dozen years. Killing is too quick.

Pity there is no 6 on the voting score.

Great story. Thank you.

The Cheaters Did not Know what to do ... As My Wife Said Once a Cheater always a Cheater .. I Sent Her Ex a Invitation to Our Wedding .. I just forgot to send it . Opps Me Bad

Your name is fitting.

This may be at the pointy end of BTB, but it's fantasy.

Even so, any medical establishment that came across two otherwise perfectly healthy adults, lying together after a romp, paralyzed and in excruciating pain and didn't immediately put the highest level of safety in play are the most incompetent professionals on the planet.

As for exposing it to the public, the asshole and slut had their plans... They were on the moment he hit the ground. What... was asshole going to go get coffee at the airport lounge and fuck the waitress with the slut waiting at the table? No, their plans were to get to bed and try to fuck each other to death. And in that, they succeeded.

If by chance he had picked up a little other pussy, well, the 5 day incubation period would have burnt itself out pretty quickly among the low-life set where sex is just a pastime. Maybe someone innocent could get burnt, but with hubby knowing their plans, the chance of this going sideways is next to nothing.

BTW, that short fuse with the disease is the very reason this could never be a real thing. A virus needs to be able to travel in order to propagate. If it ever got a hold anywhere, seeing as there is no cure, the problem area would be cordoned off for 5 days so that everyone tainted could die, there would be a cleanup, and the virus or whatever would be dead and buried with all of it's victims. End of the road for that virus. Unless there is another, consistent source that kept reaching out to jump into humanity. You know, maybe like a strain of monkey that doesn't display symptoms, but that are so irresistible that different perverts just have to fuck them on a regular basis! Just saying... just an aside to the main thrust of my comment.

Any other excuse you can think of to disparage the action in this little tale?

is unnecessary. It's only in recent times that treason against the family has been treated in such frivolous way. Now we see what the result is in broken families, children raised by single mothers, higher crime rates, higher welfare rates, and lower educational achievement. All of these are consequences of adultery (and having children out of wedlock)

The disease was an interesting plot idea

Having been in the “wrong corner “myself, these stories help tremendously

Thank you

Nothing like a final ending. Good enough for them. (In this unrealistic over the top story).

One more time. They were warned after all. What did she expect?