All Comments on 'Something Lost But Something Gained'

I don't understand why the husband didn't kick his wife's slutty ass to the curb immediately! He surrendered his self respect. His wife tested him because she knew he was a wimp. Your story needs more depth. I think you can do better. Author, you need to learn how to break your writing into paragraphs...

Good story, and I like the idea that he got his self respect back. Thank you for the entertainment. Mike from Texas

you play with matches, you get burned.

too bad she wasn't smart enough to figure that out until it was too late.

Well written, well played.

Paragraphs, Maybe it was the computer gods, but Paragraph Two was something to behold. After that , things got much better, but Crikey, 1829 words without a pause.

The Wife's name "Mel", easy to type for sure, but several times I interpreted it as " Me! "

One word choice I would've done differently, "A night never to relive again" this is a bit clumsy, and 'relive' looks a lot like 'relieve' Maybe " go through" would have been an option.

“Steve" I had to read again to see where the name came in, (screamed during her orgasm) but the hero did nothing with that information until the last paragraph, so it was a bit of a wasted red herring.

All in all, Your Efforts are Appreciated, and I for one Look Forward to seeing more of your Talents.

Cheers and Thanks, Kilroy

a823

I'm sure she would have been happy to allow her husband the chance to get it out of his system.

Other than that, which is easy to fix, a really good story, and well written. Well done.

Enjoyed reading this. Writing, grammar, etc. not bad. As others pointed out, it's much better to break up the writing with appropriate paragraphs. The credibility part of this was marginal -- with no children, and presumably the wife working too, I don't see why Tim would lose "most of what he worked for." Even if she earned very little, he would at most lose half.

Tim could also have tape recorded the next conversation and then threatened to reveal it to her parents if she tried to play hardball during divorce proceedings -- that generally shuts up a belligerent spouse! And as another pointed out, why not just threaten to see other women? Her jealousy (if she really loved him) would have come forth in a heartbeat. But again, pretty good first story. Thanks for writing.

People will complain about racial prejudice but we do not know if that it was just a case of the face of the enemy and older whiteman might have had exactly the same effect. He should have cut her off immediately but that is a problem of style.... and there would not have been much of a story... Good work. Thanks!

whined and pissed and moaned when wifey proposed the idea, guess she knew he was a closet cuck and could run her idea up the flagpole and watch him salute

It was a little unbalanced. Much was the pain you gave to the husband and little pain from or to the wife. Leaving him as the wimpass cuckold. Maybe a little more justice in the story would have balanced the retrobution better

This site is called Literotica. What is erotic about this story? Is there a category missing on this site called depressing? Do people get off on watching or hearing about train wrecks? Obviously part of what some people get off on is wife cheating. Then fine. She cheats, he gets off on it or he cheats or they both cheat or swing. But this is one person treating another badly and they aren't going to take it anymore by gosh. And that belongs on this site? No. It belongs on the National Enquirer site or some other poor excuse for time not well spent.

Mel was not asking for permission. She was stating an ultimatum. Asking permission assumes that the petitioner will accept denial of her request. At the moment Mel delivered her ultimatum, every man would have recognized it as such. Although I do not like wimp stories, I can understand a man's hesitation to summarily end a marriage with a woman he loves -- once. The tension was well developed, the denouement too short.

This story wasn't perfect, perhaps above all because the wife is so selfish that she's not too believeable, but it's still a good story and I'm sure your future ones will be even better.

Thanks,

ohio

You did a great job creating the mindset of both husband and wife. While I don't care for stories where the husband "allows" his mate to take a lover even temporarily, you did let him grow some balls by the conclusion. Good read and I will look forward to future postings.

for you writing career. Lots of technical problems which to me made the story hard to follow at times.

Paragraphs are one huge problem. Dialog is another. In my opinion your paragraphs are much too long. Find break points to separate them. Also a new paragraph should begin every time someone different speaks. This stops confusion about who is speaking.

The plot line and the actions of the characters are depressing but there are several other stories on the site that echo this premise. I do feel there could have been more "fleshing" out of the characters to make them more interesting.

I don't believe the husband's reaction was realistic but then again this is an story of erotic fiction. But all and all not a bad first effort.

To anonymous who complains that there was nothing erotic in this story I suggest you check out some of the better authors on the site. Not all of their stories are full of fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.

I also suggest you be man (or woman) enough to comment using a registered name. You should allow the writer or others the opportunity to debate your comments.

If you wish to debate, discuss, or question my comment feel free to contact me.

Keep working and writing and thanks for your hard work

woodsmanone your first was shit,get off the high horse.

This is a good start. Avoid the "wimp cuckold loving husband" crowd. Your paragraphs way too long. After you develop your stories, let them lay for a couple of days and then reread to check on the "flow."

Keep up the theme in this story and you will do very well as an author.

As others have said, paragraphs please..............

The volume of words without any breaks in the first part of the story almost made me quit reading it. I finally skimmed through it just to get to the end, which was pretty well done.

Mel is an idiot if she thinks she can pull this off and he did the right thing, as it will happen again.

You took the JPB way out at the end and just ended it. The paragraph problem was painful but there was a good amount of background and development. Get to the finale and it is not complete.

I liked your story. Yes, there were some issues, but overall I thought you did a good job. I didn't like it that he accepted her first 2 liasons, but at least he finally found a backbone. Obviously, she couldn't love and respect him and still do what she did. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thanks, Tim

Well done, very easily defined scenes and had me worried - But - he maintained his self respect and did the right thing...'No Wimp"!!!

Sadly, it was the end to what he believed was a love for a lifetime. He'll miss the blissful moments but always hurt at the memories of her adultery.

By the way, it didn't have to be a black man. Oh, shorter paragraphs please.

Good story, thanks for writing and again...Thanks - No Wimps!!!

I found the wife's logical approach to presenting her unsuspecting husband with a fait acompli interesting to say the least. Admitting to having an affair before it ever happens is a little different. I would like to have seen this story go on a bit further, deeper. Possibly the weekends with lover could have been spaced more to show the interactions between husband and wife beyond the sexual level. I think the thought process leading to filing for divorce could have been delved into a little deeper as well. Still, in all a good story. Some better attention to paragraphing would have made it easier on the eyes as far as reading goes.

Good story. Some here have commented on paragraph length: a paragraph should be as long as necessary to cover a single event or a phase of the story. Those who clamor for short paragraphs may have trouble concentrating. Your plot is not uncommon, but you handled it well, thanks to your very good use of language. The story seemed fresh and believable to me. In your following sentence "Please darling bare with me one more time," consider using "bear." I think that Lit has gained a good writer.

I like this story line as presented by various authors but none of you go far enough with the husband. True it's divorce or tolerate her ultimatum in some fashion, stormx had a few good methods that the husband employs to pressure his wife to end her affair, but even he failed to have the husband act against her effectively. There is no point in gathering info on the asshole and do nothing about it. Even though he's painted into a corner why is he not refusing to kiss her from the start?? Never mind fucking her between weekends, go get a lab report for the next six months, then we'll talk, assuming there is anything to talk about. Follow her, check the phone records, something. No friggin way he'd do sloppy seconds at all!! Is he distraught over her whorish behavior or not?? I'd like to see you or someone else try this plotline and give more light to the wife's motivations and to also not make the husband such a weak victim. He may love her enough to be forced to not want to be without her ( poor bastard) But why are the husbands so complacent, stormx and another author had some good resistive behaviors food there husbands, how about we see the husband resist effectively, the asshole loverboy must be punished in some way that keeps hubby out of jail, she must get to feel the mental anguish she let loose on her husband. Have another go at it.... But make the husband a complete real man or reclaims his mate or turn him into a creampie eating fruitcup and then put it in the right category like gay, or fetish. Look to bobnobbers works for examples of miscategorized stories. I' ll apologize now for any grammatical errors, mispellings, auto check snafus, I've made typing with one digit on my IPhone. Must be all the testosterone impeding my English language skills.

Long paragraphs are intimidating to the reader. It's easy to lose ones place. There are no visual rest stops.

The emotional impact of the story was a little too intense for me at points, I felt his pain such that I started speed reading. The characters were believable. I think he was emotionally stunned and not really a wimp. The added racial tension was delicately done. Overall, a very good short story and I hope to see more of your work.

Thanks, M.Y.

I took that chapter and edited it into about 20. Makes for a much easier read. Enjoyed the story though!

The paragraphs are too long. Dialogue needs help as well. There have been times in life when I was a "slow learner" too, but the way it ended was weird, IMHO. He still trusted her after the first time, after the second time and then he decides it's too much at three? Why? She's treating him great in between her trysts, she's not cheating, she keeps coming back to him, cooking, fucking, and giving him everything he had before. Perhaps he would be better served by finding a weekend lover too. Divorcing her he lost all the good parts of his marriage.

He was trapped in a paradigm of "one man, one woman" and it ruined his life. Sad. Really sad.

scorpio44 is a jackass. idk why you think the "one man one woman" relationship is outdated but the fact is most people want it, and im guessing the author was trying to keep his marriage but when his wife kept asking for more and more, he finally had enough. also, and yes this is me being judgemenal, whatever kind of relationship you have, its not real love and its bound to end badly. :) have fun being pathetic

As promised, it has little sex. I would add that it has no erotica. It's just a hostile fantasy about being damaged and getting revenge. Sad, boring, nasty little tale.

I just hope it was cathartic for the author. He seems to have some kind of post-marital PTSD.

I would have giving her two choices. 1) I get to fuck some other woman or 2) I'd file for divorce. And why did you have to ruin the story by saying he was black, are you a racist????

I am sure there are some that see the one man, one woman relationship to be outdated. Whatever floats their boat. But the majority of people want that type of relationship. Who cares if she was treating him great between trysts! So because she was having sex with her husband he was supposed to just accept and agree to her continuous affair with another man? As seen from most stories in this category he would be called a "wimp male". He deserved better after 10 years of marriage and glad he realized that at the end.

As for constructive criticism I would say that you need to break up your paragraphs, many times with both character's dialog. Breaking that up would go a long way to improving the flow of the story. But overall the content was good. Nice job!

i laugh at all the wizards that thing you need to edit your story better i think you got the idea across, he divorced her but couldn't before that for whatever reason i don't know and i'm sure after reading this story you don't either.All in all it was a story about two retards told by a retard. I'm not a writer and don't care how many mistakes i made as long as i get my point across.

... his balls. His wife tells him she is going to fuck someone whether he agrees or not and then threatens him with a nasty divorce if he won't agree. Pack her bags and toss her out the door. The only reason to stay would be to preserve his marriage but he doesn't have a marriage any more. He is living with a bitch who doesn't care about anyone but herself and cuts off his balls with her demands. That's not a wife and they don't have a marriage. <br><br>

This storyline, the wife declaring she is going to fuck someone else, has been done pretty much the same way by several authors. The men are all shaped to be pathetic losers. In this one the dumb hubby is lead around by his dick as well. Wife fucks him and then can go off to rip his heart out fucking someone else. The sex she is acting out shows she has become a slut. Why couldn't she have explored that with her husband? He is certainly enjoying it. But she is too selfish to do that. She wants to fuck someone else. <br><br>

I also agree with a previous comment. Why the BLACK guy. It was just gratuitous. If you had developed the hubby to be a racist then maybe this would have been an addition twist of the screws but it's just lobbed in like a grenade. The hubby doesn't even react that much, more like an observation so why put it in the story? <br><br>

Another dumb thing, when the wife exposes her affair she exposes her married lover as well. Did her lover know she had done that? Big risk to him which eventually earned him his own divorce. That's why these things are usually kept secret. Stupid wife, stupid husband, stupid lover.

I loved it. Don't change a thing. I got madder and madder as he let it go on but in the end he did the right thing. I guess he was trying to let her work it out of her system, and he loved her enough to let her try. But in the end he did what he had to. If this is your first story, I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do next because this was very good.

Great story.

Excellent first story, I thoroughly enjoyed it

Your main character does not come across as a real person. You have him explain what he is feeling. Instead, try having him act out how he feels. The one time this was done was when he attacked the yard. Drinking does not do it. Also, if he has been up all night drinking as you say, why was he not comatose when she got home. She smiles at his angst.

He finally removed his balls from his wifes purse and glued them back. She was like a child testing the boundaries of what she could get away with. He should not have worried though, according to Scorpio44 everything was fine as long as she cooked,cleaned and fucked. That is the definition of a good maid. Scorpio also says that he threw away the best part of his marriage because of his narrow minded view. That only works when one of them doesn't feel like shit all the time. I wonder if Scorpio had a big breakfast this morning. Author, listen yo the others about the paragraphs. Good one.

Yeah the ending was rushed. It was like you were just in a hurry to end it. There could have been more to that. It is always great fun to miss the anticlimactical meeting at the lawyers. :-)

A HUGE problem is that you need an editor. As you may have guessed, your paragraphs were way to long. Every piece if dialog is a paragraph. When ever you change speakers, that is a new paragraph. When every a story changes location or subject matter, that is a new paragraph.

But, it was a worthy first try. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Cheers

C

Okay, I'll add onto the need to break up your story into more coherent paragraphs. Most notably, every time a different person speaks, it should be in its own paragraph. Also, shorter paragraphs carry more punch, are easier on the eye, and help the pacing along far better.

That aside, the real problem is that the tension--aside from wanting to choke the wife to death from beginning to end--was never there. What I mean is that husband just really rolled over. Sure, he was initially upset, but then he just got screwed silly and allowed her the first time. Then he got screwed silly again, and he allowed it again. Finally, he started putting off her advances, but then allows her to go again. And the end? BAM! He grows a pair of balls, sees it's never really going to end, and drops a divorce on her--and on all of us readers--in a final denoument.

What you had was the ability to create a ton of tension throughout the story--the conflict between him not wanting her to have the affair, but her insisting anyway--and instead he folded every time by simply getting screwed by her--literally and figuratively.

Tension is created when two people both try their utmost to get what they want. Here, she would've been trying her utmost to sell him over on the idea of her affair, and he'd have been doing his utomost to prevent it. In your story, she tried her utmost, but he was like a lump.

Don't get me wrong. This was an excellent story, particularly for a first submission. Still, I recommend you work on having both characters in future stories fight their asses

This site does not need another "wimp" writer. Many have tried to write a believable wimp character and all have failed ! You failed bigtime!!

I had to read it a couple of times as I am used to paragraphs when the characters are chatting.

In saying that, congratulations on your first story, I really enjoyed reading it. Can't wait to read more from you

Whore wife and wimp husband. She basically threatened him that she was going to have the affair come hell or high water and there was nothing he could do. At that moment she was saying she was a self centered slut and had no respect for him. End of story, end of marriage. She did not respect or love him. So why would he put up with this unless he was a dick sucking fag? Don't write anything else.

Well you are free of her and she probably did get a lot in the courts, but you asked for it. You should have put your foot down the very beginning and told her it was either Steve or you. You asked what you got. Live with it.

At least your protagonist finally got his balls back and did what he should have done at the git go.

I liked the story and there were a few glitches in it. But, all in all it was well told and well written. It would be interesting to see where his life heads now. Which suggests that the character was not a cardboard cutout, but someone people could care about.

If I have one quibble, and really it is, I wonder what his W was thinking during all of this. We know what he thought of it all, but what was she thinking and why would she have risked everything by getting off of the tram with her lover and kissing him, knowing her husband was there and waiting for her? I think he got it right, she really did not care what he thought.

Nicely done, keep up the good work.

This looks like a very interesting story and the first part that I managed to get through seemed well writte. Yes, it's been done before but its how the story is told that makes in interesting. Having said that, I'm afraid I gave up reading when I realized the story apparently is one huge paragragh. It makes it about impossible to read. When the scene changes you start a new paragraph; when the speaker changes you start a new paragraph. Short and concise is better. Get an editor who can help you break this up into readable sections and resubmit it as the guidelines show you how. I think I'll enjoy it very much.

Great Read. (Thank You} Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

...but very difficult to read. You need to break up those huge paragraphs into more readable chunks. It's daunting to face a sea of gray type, trying to follow a story and many potential readers are going to give up.

Literotica has lots of volunteer editors that could help you. You don't need to work with them throughout the writing of a story (though some would be happy to). Just have one go over a last draft.

You have potential as a storyteller. Now you just need to do some fine tuning. Looking forward to the next one.

Yeah, I bailed on this story way early. That paragraph, third, fourth, whichever, was just a brainkiller. I ran for the border after that.

I wish I could comment on the technical aspects of the story, the plot points, and so forth, but not until I've actually read it.

The good news: LitErotica allows re-submissions. I suggest you get with an editor, whip this into readable format, and re-submit as version 2.0.

Rhein1 you seriously think that your spouse can tell you they plan on fucking someone else and you can't manage to get a divorse? You based your entire premise on this arguement... you made this utterly, stupid arguement the 'reason' he couldn't do anything about it. Rhein1 I'm laughing at your sheer stupidity, just like any husband would laugh at this crap coming from his wife. Why do you insist on making your people in the story such complete fucking morons? Are you too lazy to develop a story? or just too dumb yourself?

to paragraph both dialogue and actual paragraphs. Look at a novel or short story and learn something. Then look at a story about reality and learn something.

I feel you really just got a bit lazy here. You had a fair to good build up and then just fizzled the ending.

You and SHOULD explore expanding the story from the time the wife was served D papers. It would also be very good experience to improve and expand your writing skills.

break up the text a bit though to make it easier to read

what about a part 2 to do this and give it a go? nothing like practice to improve skills.

only the weirdos like yourself into self disrespect and male humiliation will applaud you.<P>

Why did you shoot your self in the {choose an appendage} so openly as this?<P>

No one - not even the sicko's - will respect anyone who doesn't respect themself.<P>

Go home you less than a man. You are what you write.

sorry this is awful

While the story was hard to read, it was a nice try. Who wouldn't hate that slut of a wife. He should have done it after her first weekend with Steve. I just wonder how he could stand to touch her after her weekends. I couldn't! Thanks for sharing...

R1,

Definitely got a reaction to SLBSG, huh? Good enough to not, be ignored! Take what you will from the readers who left their screen names. Look forward to your next story.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

You had a nice beginning which attracted me to the story. I was like "what next ....??". But I felt like you got bored with your story or got tired of writing and finished it as quickly as possible.

But I think you can be a fantastic story teller and if you go in to people, their feelings and a complete story, You will be like Ohio, I believe.

You have good story telling skills, but as one or two others have commented,the paragraphing needs a bit of work. Long, endless paragraphs kill a story.

The above being said, I liked the effort. Oh, and don't concern yourself with the anonymatii; they are actually mostly refugees from 1692 Puritanville. The supreme irony of their comments is that they seem to read every word we write--go figure.

Matt

by any of the criticisms, especially from the anonymi: they're always the most brutal. And Loving Wives is the category that gets the roughest criticism.

So--you can learn from some of the constructive suggestions. After that, do it YOUR way!

Best,

ohio

A pretty good first effort. Your writing needs a little work though. IMHO you could have spent a bit more time on the divorce since you had the wife bring up what a divorce would mean early in the story. I thought it was worth reading and there are many posts on this site that I would not say that about so please keep it up. Thanks.

Good enough story. The husband is not very bright though. He couldn't guess after the first weekend that the wife was addicted to black cock? And the fact she would never stop fucking black cock. Why would any husband want sloppy seconds or more from a wife that has been blacked? I am sure there are many cuckolded husbands on this site that get seconds served to them by their slut wives every day. Most will be unwilling cuckolds, but many will know and approve of thier wives adventures. At least this husband did something about it, for now.

Heed the advice of the seasoned writers here. (I usually ignore anonymous comments those by members who haven't made submissions)

Develop your own style and try to come up with novel plots or twists. There are only so many "cheating" plots around.

Please more paragraphs.

Finally don't be discouraged.

I had to dock you a point for the running on paragraphs but the content shows ability so keep trying. I also liked it that the husband didn't go flying off creating mayhem, since a logical course to use with a thorn in one's side is to remove the thorn and move on. No point in chopping down the thorny bush and poisening the ground under it.

Of course, should a wife ever tell me something like that, my answer would be "Sure, Babe, no problem at all." and I would be off looking for her replacement by the same evening. She showed her true colors right off the bat by relating all of the options she had figured out, thus she was not a real wife.

Folks that can agree upon having other sexual partners I have no problem with, sneaking or doing as this one did, with basically an ultimatum? Well, oddly, darn near half of all the people a person meets in life are female, there are a lot of choices.

MGM

The story is very well written. Great setup and great ending. I loved the self control this author showed in keeping the tension at a high level, but not giving away the ending. This required writing characters that are very believable and human. So at the coda, the crescendo was delicious. I look forward to more from this author.

very well done. thanks for the story and look forward to more

This short piece was really a stealth cuckold story. It really does not matter if the wife fucked him to death between meeting her lover the fact is that he accepted the arrangement. In fact, the wife got off on the prospect that hubbby would be waiting for her to get home. That is no different that those stories where the husband is at the office waiting for the wife and her lover to finish so he could come home for his sloppy seconds. The husband never wonders why he was not getting this great sex from his life partner until they agreed to this arrangement. So he was trading this great sex (which they should have been having anyway) for his permission for her to have a lover. What was missing was when did he get some backbone to divorce the bitch? Also, when did he get the evidence on his wife and her lover? The reader is dropped at the end of the story with no bridge to how he felt losing his marriage.

The guy was a dumbass!

Had you filed the papers before the first affair ahe might have stopped and smelled the coffee. But once you let her she took advantage of her. Mine tried somethingclose to youres buyt i kept track of wgho she was fucking and got 17 divorces completed and 11 alienation of affectiuon suits won I posted her and her lovers on the internet and opened a site trelling all about her and now she plays with dildos because guys are not willing to lose all they have for a lousy piece of ass

he was sued for alienation of affection, along with his domestic woes?

The thing with her, I doubt there were the regrets, rather some fool to take care of her.

Day 1. After she told me what her intentions were I would have been with the lawyer the very next day . Day two I would have made arrangements to removed all her stuff from my house the first time she left , and had the locks changed. mAfter all she did abondon the house and home and marriage . I wouls also had the papers ready for her when she came back and tried to get back into the house. Day 3. All assets would have been liquidated and nothing left to split. My Pain would have driven me to Vegas and I lost all the money in my grief or in a nice off shore acct. . Oh well , It was her choice , have a great life . I would have sued the asshhole for alienation of affection. I am sure he would have had many unforunate bad luck episodes after that .

a poor plot. Allowing one was weak enough to go along the first ....well hell, not much more to say. It is one thing to not see the snake and another to pick it up and pet it. This is an old plot line and no one has ever written it where the husband agrees and it goes well. Someone should try a role reversal, though it still would not end well, it might be entertaining.

Michael

Actually she didnt get near what she deserved. Half of everything, sell iut wall with her gone furniture and all. Go gambling and claim it all lost. Give her half of nothing. Or do what i offered to do for my ex wife, i will take a saw and cut everything in half, you can get half and i can get half.

Although, it would have been better for the gene pool, if he had arranged for her to be eliminated from the gene pool.

Really enjoyed it. Keep on writing and don't get discouraged by adverse comments. You write a very good story and I really thought the plot was a good one.

Please write some more.

the cup fills up and runs over. TK U MLJ LV NV

First she tells you that she wants to cuckhold you ? Then she wants your permission to do so? Then she refuses to tell you who she is fucking ? And then all of this is suposoe ro be ok with you ?

I do not think so . My ex tried something similar and now she is worm food and her lovers get to sit to pee and look at thier cocks and balls in a glass jar.

Guess finding some backbone is more difficult when you also lack balls.

the first is mainly a personal preference-I find it to be a let down when the perspective of the wife is left out of the story.

the second is that it's a little tough to accept, at least in the situations you present, that the husbands can manage getting through a divorce without facing their wives again, especially when at the point in the story the wives are served they don't want a divorce.

that all those Anonymous dumb asses are left free from the institute of idiots and are allowed to comment some brain shit in this forum? Look at me: welcome to the club, my fart breething friends...

and he knew how the system worked. Follow the bitch, get the info, and divorce the slut. Kick the bastard in the balls. Have fun. Ruin the bitch. Have fun.

it wasnt like she wanted. TK U MLJ LV NV

I don't get it. This is called "Something lost, but something gained". He has no dignity, no self-respect, no brain, no wife and whatever he lost to her in the divorce. What exactly did he gain here?

Why he gave permission twice I don't know but she deserved more than a divorce. She deserved pain and anguish.

I also believe he did not get his self respect back. I could expound on what he has to do to get it back but I don't want anyone thinking that I am violent. I have no reason in my life to want to get violent do I?

Fuck everybody

his jaw unhinged, he swallowed the meatiest cock, betrayed!

mud hens find a toilet to dispose of them all

Second paragraph is unreadable. You're causing the reader to give when you write a paragraph that long. The next few are almost as bad. When you have that many words strung together in one paragraph, you tire the reader's eyes.

If you break that second paragraph into three parts and a few of the others in half, there will be enough white space around the 'graphs to make it easier on the reader's eyes. You haven't changed the flow of the story,

That's why a well-written newspaper or magazine article generally will one to four sentences. There really is a method to our madness.

This story sucks Moose cock because the author did NOT follow his own premise . It has NOTHING to with with the idea that the husband is a wimp. or pussy.

The author's premise was what the wife was going to do this ONE time.

One time - not every weekend for months on end.

An author can write their own stories anyway they want to... but Once the author sets the premise ...if it changes there HAS to be a reaction.

simply having the husband give in becuase he gets his dick sucked ism NOT a reaction. A awful story

more of a flash story and it is better than just ok. gave u a 5.

I gave you an extra point because this was your 1st submission, so you got 2 from me.

For me, the relationship died when she started out by outlining the fact that hubby had no options.

If he divorced her, she takes him to the cleaners and she still gets to screw around. If he went Rambo on the bf, he ends up in gaol and she still gets to screw around. If he went Rambo on HER, ditto... and if he gives her permission, ditto again but she'll be nice about it.

So what she's just said, is "FUCK YOU, DUMMY, BECAUSE I"M ABOUT TO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU'VE GOT FUCK ALL TO SAY ABOUT IT!"

There's no love there from her, just possession, domination, and self-satisfaction. The only reason she told him ANYTHING is either that she really didn't care what the outcome would be (for him, it's divorce, gaol or permission, for her, she hangs the horns anyway) OR she has zero respect for his feelings (and really, it is both).

The very start of the story told me that I wouldn't like the premise... he had made it through 2 months before he was ready to take action. No way.

I don't care what Matt Moreau, BOBnBOBBI, DWMoron and all that crowd think, do the dirty on me, and I'll bring the pain.

If my wife sat me down, and said, "Honey, we have to talk," she might be put off-guard because I'd be smiling from ear to ear, but it's only because she has no idea that she is about to call down the wrath of god on her own head... and don't think I won't find out who the prick is, either.

You see, TILL that point, I would have truly loved her, because I thought that I knew her and that she had my back as well. But as soon as she decides that she has other priorities, she would cure me of my illusion.

She would have been far better off sitting him down and saying, "Honey, I haven't yet had a physical affair, but I am not willing to betray you or humiliate you... so I am asking for a divorce, because I am afraid someone else has caught my interest, and I know in my heart I am not good enough to be true to you. I am sorry."

Of course, there would be devastation and hurt, but there might actually be mutual respect, and eventually the friendship might mend a little, if nothing else.

In the case of this story, though, a storm is about to break

This story was terrible you miserable wimp of an author. Do us a favor and never write again.

the story was quite plausible, there are a number of spouses who get bored with their spouses and look for more excitement. In this case, she went way too far with multiple dates with a married man. At the end rubbing her husband's face into her affair when it was supposed to have ended with the long weekend is just fucking stupid. She became awash in her own power and lust and never fulling understood that was she was doing was dangerous to her marriage. Luckily the fuck toy got divorced because of it too. I personally don't think the husband should feel any remorse for her present state of lonliness. Also someone had coached her when she illustrated her husband's options to her pernouncement. At first blush it sounded good but in a no fault state the money split is down the middle. I would have hired a PI just after she announced her intent.

In this world you can't be always be Neandrathal man ever on high alert for someone trespassing on your territory. You can get rewarded highly for being attuned & sensitive to others needs & fulfilling them. Beautiful intelligent women appreciate it when you go beyond the surface & dont approach them in a crude fashion.

The flip side is that even this desirable & rare trait can be taken for granted. Melanie was a game player & the narrator didn't rise to her challenge. He was the prize ( this was realized too late on her part ) but he didn't carry himself as such. It's tragic for both of them but in the end I see him doing well if he learns his lesson.

Maybe I'm deluded, but as I get older I see far more intelligent, sane, single women available then men with these qualities. Frankly, once he recovers from this hurtful setback - the narrator will do well in the singles market. The bottom line is selfish sluts are disposable & good men are not.

It could be argued that perhaps Melanie will learn her lesson but I don't see it, myself. He gave her multiple non-verbal signals their relationship wad headed for the rocks. She either ignored or missed them all because she was in heat for the other man. Melanie is one of those charming , sexy women with mega-allure with a sensitivity chip missing. Pity .

She made a fool out of him by cheating in front of him. He saved his balls and his manhood by divorcing her after the slut and her asshole boyfriends trip together. If he didn't it would have been a matter of time before she was bringing him home for her husband to watch.

So a wimp and a cuck he is not. Just a confused man who was married to a whore and got out with his self respect.

Comment By: betrayedbylove

cheating in front of him... balls ... manhood... slut... asshole... boyfriend... husband to watch.... wimp.... cuck...whore.

The endlessly repeated comment from betrayedbylove. Do us all a favor, idiot, and hang yourself.

Your wife cheated on you. Then died. You're an irredeemable chuck. You are now known as "cuckboy". Your fetish is letting the world know she was a slut and opened her legs for many other guys while you were getting lardassed in front of the TV. Shame on you cuckboy. You did nothing about it even though you knew. Not while she was alive. Now the old slut is dead you're brave enough to speak ill. Sad piece of shit.

give them enough rope and THEY WILL HANG THEMSELVES. TK U MLJ LV NV

I'd have chosen divorce inn the first conversation, especially as there were no kids involved. "all we've done is kiss" - already got my lawyer dialed, sweetheart, go do your thing.

Curious...

"My emotions were on a rollercoaster again as I began to realize how much my wife really did not care for me."

How could it take a rational man that long to realize that his wife didn't love him? She threatened to divorce him if he didn't go along. A clear sign she dint love or respect him.

"Stupid is as stupid does"

Makes more sense than this story