Southern Tide Vol. 02

In truth he never saw himself with someone like Kiara. He always pictured his dream girl as some hot blonde. He always had a thing for blondes. It was just his preference and had been this way since high school. When he went bar hopping with Dale in their earlier years, they would always look out for the hottest blonde or brunette; the latter being Dale's favorite. Dale had gotten with Marie, while he never gave any serious thought to relationships. He would go out with one woman, then a while later hook up with someone else. Now this routine had run its course and he wanted something else; something better.

He was tired of bars and temporary women. He wanted something solid; someone he could count on for love, as well as pleasure. He was always told that he was attractive by more women than he could ever count and that had been the one thing he relied on when trying to find sex or women. He never cared to work hard, but his looks had gotten him only so far.

Now he was learning that just being good looking did not guarantee love or a woman to take interest in him for long. That was probably why Kelly left him. She had found him charming and attractive in the beginning, only to learn the truth of who he really was later on; unkind, rude and impetuous. He was sure that his past girlfriends had even more unflattering adjectives to describe his character and they would probably be right. He never even gave a damn about being a good man, but things had changed.

Now he had to start all over, but it was a welcomed change. He was lucky to be here and now, with a changed attitude and people to care about. He tried to force those lustful thoughts away and put patience before everything. His love for Joshua had indeed transformed him, yet he still struggled with the sexually frustrated caveman raging inside.

Many times he tried to deny these feelings and urges, but it was to no avail. Kiara was gorgeous, independent and fearless. He needed someone like her in his life. If not for the pleasure of making love to her, then better to learn from her example; someone unlike anything he'd ever known. She had been through many struggles; probably more than she was willing to admit and he admired her strength. This was the south after all and being both a single parent and a black woman were not easy.

He wasn't blind to how black people were treated and even he had looked down upon them; especially Cat. He thought that she was below Dale's standards. An angry phone call from Kiara and an ultimatum from Dale finally set him straight.

He wanted to change and more importantly he wanted to be the man that Kiara wanted. He wanted to end her suffering and be there for Joshua, even though he wasn't the father. He remembered when the older folks criticized unwed, single moms and bastard kids; never giving a thought to them being actual people with struggles. He didn't want that for Kiara or Joshua. They deserved happiness and he wanted to replace Derek. The man didn't know what he had.

Brian took a deep breath and then rubbed his eyes. It was strange how his thoughts shifted from lascivious, to calm and composed so quickly. He wasn't used to dealing with the new dilemmas that came along with his attraction. It was becoming too much of a chore to suppress these ever shifting yearnings. He thought that he should talk to Kiara about all of this and be honest about how he felt. Maybe she would listen and alleviate some of the pressure. At this point only one thing would calm him, and that was knowing how she truly felt about him. He had caught tiny hints, but they weren't strong indications and might have been wishful thinking on his part.

What a weakling he was by second guessing himself. This was not the over-confident Brian he was used to. His father would have been ashamed to see him like this; anxious and wanting to talk to a woman about...

"Brian?" Kiara called out to him quietly.

"Hmm? What?" he responded, as he snapped out of his reflection and whipped his head around in surprise.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah I'm fine." he lied and wiped the tiny beads of perspiration that had accumulated on his forehead.

"Are you sure? You look a little pale." she said, glancing at her son, then back to him.

It was clear that she thought Joshua had done something to upset him but she couldn't have been further from the truth. He didn't hear her come into the living room but was glad that she did. An uneasy feeling had crept over him as the realization of what...or rather who influenced him to be the unpleasant man that he was, came into focus. He had been an emulation of his long dead father.

Like Dale, his own father had passed away when he was young. The old man loved cigarettes and the bottle, and so he died from the excessive use of these vices. Luckily Brian had never taken much of a liking to smoking and only drank in moderation. He could have done far worse by following in his dad's footsteps. He never knew his mother but was told by his old man that she had gone off with another man.

"That stupid whore left me to go off with some retard!" his father would say, "She didn't have much of a brain in that head of hers anyway. Hell if I care if she's dead or alive!"

It didn't mean much to him because he had been too young to remember his mother. She never contacted him, nor did she ever return. He didn't blame her. His father, when he was alive, was not someone he would want to introduce Kiara to. If she still thought him to be that major asshole, his father would be just that, only multiplied by ten. That was where he got his arrogance and unruly mouth from.

The thought of his father made him feel queasy but he tried his hardest to focus on the moment at hand. If Kiara knew what was going through his mind, she might have been turned off.

"Can I have a glass of water?" he asked, trying to give his most convincing smile. "I think I'm just a little tired from work."

"Yeah...sure." she said and slowly headed for the kitchen.

The way she moved spoke of her concern for him and he decided to follow, instead of waiting for her return. He was afraid that if she left him behind again, his thoughts would spiral out of control. He wouldn't let that spoil their evening. Besides, this was his chance to go to her.

"I would have brought it to you." she said, once she realized that he was following her.

"It's okay. Sure you don't need any help in here?" he asked, as they entered the kitchen.

His stomach growled suddenly as the savory aroma of seafood filled his nostrils. He immediately remembered commercials he'd seen as a kid, of families happily enjoying their dinner. In these advertisements, the man of the house would come home after a hard day's work. He would meet his wife in the kitchen and she would have a big dinner ready. He would then dip his finger into a silver bowl full of cake batter, all with a wide grin on his face.

He would kiss his wife on the cheek, as a thank you for the meal, and then join his two or three children at the table. Then, his wife would bring their dinners out and everyone would dig in with happy smiles on their faces, while simultaneously endorsing whatever products were being served. That was how he envisioned his future family. It was a stretch and not a very practical scenario, but all in all, it was still what he wanted. Being in Kiara's company had been the closest he'd ever gotten to this perfect vision, and he didn't want to give it up, not for anything.

She had prepared Shrimp Alfredo for dinner and the creamy white sauce still simmered over the stove. As side dishes, they would be having a garden salad and fresh baked butter and garlic rolls. He was suddenly stricken with sadness, and felt helpless once again. He needed her and didn't want to go back home to an empty apartment, devoid of the comfort and love he felt here. He would have liked to be frank with her, but he knew that if he said anything, his confession would either render her quiet or uncomfortable. So, he pretended to be unaffected by his emotions.

"Everything looks so good." he smiled and patted his empty stomach. "Looks like we got a chef in the house!"

She laughed and handed him a glass of ice cold water, "It's nothing fancy. We haven't had seafood in a while so I thought this would be nice."

"Man, I wish I could get some good home cooking like this every night. This beats Chef Boyardee any day."

She giggled. "Yeah, yeah. Enough with the flattery."

"No I'm serious! Joshua's lucky." he said, not knowing how else to praise her.

"Well I try." she said sheepishly.

He gulped down the glass of water and began to feel a little better as the cold liquid filled his empty stomach.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about some things."

"Oh...I see. If you're not feeling well, you can go home. Maybe we could do this again another time?"

"No way! I feel better now and I've been looking forward to trying your cooking. I could never make something like this on my own."

"It's easy. Not much to it."

"Nah. I know you're trying to kick me out but I insist on eating with you guys."

"Why would I do that?"

He shrugged and smiled.

"Well if you really do feel better, would you mind helping me set the table?" she asked, "We'd eat a lot quicker if I got a hand."

"Definitely! Where should I start?"

She gave him directions on how to set everything up. He was to bring out the salad and rolls first, while she put the finishing touches on the shrimp and pasta. Her dinner table was already decorated with ivory tapered candles and a crystal vase filled with the roses he had gotten her. He smiled as he admired the display. It was beautiful and he felt like he truly belonged.

Dinner at his apartment had never been this elegant and it always seemed to lack the company of a good woman. Sure he would have his girlfriends over, but dinner for him was usually takeout or prepackaged TV dinners. He was always tired after work and went for convenience rather than quality. The only time he ever put an effort into cooking were at their barbeques.

This meal however, was made with finesse. Not even his father had gone through such lengths. The meals had been a lot healthier in the earlier years, but as time went by his father put less of an effort into making sure he ate properly. That's where the cans of Chef Boyardee came in. Lucky for Brian, he would be invited to John's house for supper most days out of the week. John was obviously aware of his father's neglect and stepped in at the right moment.

While he moved back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, he would frequently glance at Kiara, who stood at the stove. He wanted to tell her everything; that this was what he'd always wanted yet hadn't known it. He wanted her to know how he felt about her and that he wasn't just here for Joshua. They were something special and he needed them in his life. Joshua's father suddenly came to mind and he wanted to find out more about this man. If he got any closer to Kiara, he and Derek would definitely butt heads, thanks to Natalie and her friend. Before he invested in a serious relationship with Kiara, he would need to know the facts.

And so, he waited until he was done setting the table before he said a word to her. By then he was a little nervous about finding out the true nature of their relationship, but it had to be done. He sat down at the counter next to where she stood and began.

"Hey...uh do you mind if I ask you something?" he asked.

"Not at all. Is something wrong?"

"No. I just wanted to clear up a few things. It's important."

"Okay. What's on your mind?"

"Joshua's father, Derek right?"

"Yeah." she replied and finally looked at him.

"Do you guys see each other a lot?"

"You mean are we still together? No we're not. Why? Are you worried about something?"

"Well...I'd like to see more of Joshua and you. You guys make me feel as if I'm a part of the family and I think I've been missing that in my life. Before I go any further I want to make sure that there won't be any problems...as far as his father goes. It can get pretty ugly if he decides to start something in front of Joshua."

She didn't reply right away. It was as if she still couldn't trust him and that thought made him grow uncomfortable. He was about to dismiss the conversation when she finally answered.

"You don't have to worry about him. He's a little jealous but he doesn't know how to be there for his son."

"He doesn't take care of Joshua?"

"No, he makes good money and he provides for Joshua. Financial support was never the issue. If I could give him any credit, I'd say that he was always reliable as far as getting Joshua everything he needed. But that's not all there is to being a good parent. Sometimes I think he didn't even want Joshua and that he only takes care of him because he's obligated to. Joshua sees less and less of him as time goes by and it's not because he and I fight. Even when we do, I let him see Joshua because I know how much Joshua loves him. I think your being here is a good thing, so don't worry too much."

"So... you wouldn't mind if I came over more often?"

She smiled, "No I don't mind. We'd like that."

"When I first got here...I thought the old Kiara was back." he said, finally relaxing.

"You're talking about how I looked at the door? I thought you were Derek. He called me right before you got here and was looking to mess up our dinner."

"He knows about that?"

"He overheard our conversation on the phone when he came to pick up Joshua for school."

"Oh, I see. I thought I'd made a mistake by coming too early."

"No you didn't. Everything's gone well. Let me worry about Derek, okay?"

"Alright. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No I'm just about done. We can eat in about ten minutes. If you don't mind, could you ask Joshua to wash his hands before dinner?"

"Sure thing! I forgot to tell you that I got us a bottle of wine for dessert. I couldn't carry everything in all at once, so I took only part of the gift with me. Mind if I get that first?"

"You're too much." she smiled.

He winked at her then headed back to the living room where Joshua's eyes were still fixed on the game. He rushed out the door and to his truck to find the bottle. When he found it, the bottle was lukewarm from the heat, and the woman at the gift shop had recommended that it be served chilled.

He didn't know much about wine and had asked her for advice when gifting a woman. She came up with a few bottles and placed them on the counter before him. He made the choice of what he thought would be the most romantic. The clerk had pointed out that one of the vintages actually tasted like chocolate covered strawberries. This wine bottle in question wasn't as attractive as the others. It was fashioned in green glass and a simple red label which read Chocolate Shoppe in gold foil letters. Still, she swore by it and recommended that it be served as dessert itself. He was quite impressed by her knowledge and chose the bottle, hoping that Kiara would enjoy his selection.

When he returned to the kitchen, she was done with the pasta and was on her way to bringing it out to the table. There was no sign of any sort of dessert and he was thankful for having chosen the wine to end their night. He asked for permission to pop the bottle into the fridge and she allowed it, while letting him know that he was free to think of her house as his own.

As she requested, he got Joshua away from the video games to wash his hands and the two of them joined her at the dinner table. Joshua sat closest to Kiara, while he was positioned across the table from her. As far as he was concerned he had the best view in the house.

When they'd finally gotten down to eating he had probably fallen in love. Her culinary skills were spectacular and at this point there was nothing left to be desired. She was the one that he wanted and he made the decision to ask her out after dinner...or maybe when he got home. He wasn't used to being direct with her and thought that somewhere deep down, she still harbored feelings of distrust. In any case, this only made him want to prove himself even more.

Kiara should have been tired, but it was as if she fed off of Brian's energy. Joshua had grown tired after the meal, and fell asleep on the couch when they moved to the living room. Dinner had gone well, and Brian even complimented her cooking a few times. It felt good to have a man to cook for. This was what she had always wanted her home-life to be like; only it was supposed to be Derek in this scenario. But he had ruined his chances with her, and now a better candidate stood in his place.

She hadn't put much thought into serving desert, and opted out for ice-cream. Brian had done one better and gotten this spectacular wine that she had never heard of. It tasted of chocolate covered strawberries; her favorite dessert next to cherry cheesecake. It was delicious, and while Joshua slept, they chatted and sipped on the deep red wine.

She told him more about her life and her job at the hospital, where she did medical billing. He spoke more of his job at the farm where he worked with Dale's uncle, John. The recent months had been hard on them due to the lack of rainfall. There was hardly any grass and water to feed the cattle. Brian and the other hands at the ranch had to transport bales of hay, and gallons of water to alleviate the situation. He was tired and hadn't been eating very well, which was why he had been so thankful for the meal.

While he spoke of work, her mind began to wander, and she wondered what he would look like with no shirt on. It was a random idea, but talk of his hard work at the ranch triggered memories of days past. She had seen him shirtless and sweaty before; however, she had always dismissed the idea of being attracted to an asshole like him. Now she revisited the vision, except this time, she pictured him as he was now; a beautiful and charming man, who had impressed both her and Joshua.

As the effects of the alcohol spread throughout her body, her breathing grew heavier and she began to relax into the minor fantasy. She found that along with the sweet and drowsy sensation, her body had awakened to the racy thoughts. Her nipples were erect, and felt extra sensitive beneath the dress. She wished that Brian would do something about it. It had been too long since she was last intimate with a man; two years to be exact, and she craved his attention. She wanted to feel like a woman again, and not just a caretaker.

She took a generous gulp of the wine, and let the warmth of the alcohol wash over her. The sensations soon became even more pleasurable, and she reached over her chest to clasp her other arm. She hoped that the light brush of her arm against her bosom would soothe the tender nipples. She would have liked to be honest about what she wanted, but she held her tongue. She would not wear her heart on her sleeve just yet. Instead, she would try to find out more about him, in hopes of distracting herself from any more lecherous thoughts. This was probably the perfect time to inquire about his love life, since their relationship was in its early stages. She would still be able to pull herself out of this tiny crush without too much trouble, if push came to shove.

"So..."she began "You know more about my family, than I do of yours. Are you married? Any kids?"

He chuckled at the question, "Me? Nah. No kids, girlfriend or wife. I'm flying solo...for now."

"Oh...and you don't have any other family?"

"I do. I have an older sister; Donna. She left home when I was a kid, before my dad died."

"I'm sorry. So...you grew up alone?" she asked pensively.

"No, I was lucky. Donna really couldn't take care of me, and my dad didn't leave us much money. Dale and I were best friends, and when my old man passed, John took me in. He taught me a trade and I've been like a son to him ever since."