tagHumor & SatireStrange Happenings

Strange Happenings

byGoldeniangel©

Author's Note: This story is not meant to be taken seriously in any way shape or form. Thank you!

--------------------------------------------

"Oh Amy that's gorgeous!" Amy smiled as she spun around for her friends Jan and Kathy, letting them admire the dress. She knew she looked stunning with the flowing creamy fabric of the dress and its bronze trimmings.

"Isn't it fantastic?" she exclaimed, showing off her pretty dancer legs and cute little booty, "It's my costume for this show I'm in!"

"I love it!" exclaimed Kathy and Jan together, then they looked at each other and laughed. They were often speaking in unison, being very close friends.

"You look freaking hot!" Jan laughed, clapping her hands, "I just want to kiss you!"

And then she leaned forward and did just that.

Sparks flew (fortunately Amy was quick to brush them off her dress so that it didn't catch on fire.).

"Wow! That was some kiss!" said Amy, "Rob's never kissed me like that before!" (Rob of course, was Amy's husband, but like most men, he did not have the lesbian powers to set a girl on fire).

"Let me try!" said Kathy, and she kissed Amy too.

More sparks, but this time they were prepared and Jan beat them out with a kitchen towel so that Kathy and Amy could fully enjoy themselves.

The girls decided to get down to business... but first they were going to play and enjoy themselves!

*************************

Rob came home from work, rolling into the kitchen he stopped in shock, his eyes bulging out. His pretty little wife Amy was bent over the kitchen table, muff-diving into her friend Jan while being done from behind by Kathy who was sporting a monster dildo strapped to her hips. This, however, wasn't what made him upset, what made him upset was that the entire floor that he'd mopped earlier that morning was now covered with scorch marks from all the sparks that the girls were making fly.

After a moment of being upset about that, however, he was fully ready to be upset about his wife's lesbian indiscretions.

"This is why I don't trust you!" he bellowed at Jan.

Amy looked up, hearing her husband's beloved voice. In between moans as Kathy kept pounding away at her from behind she said, "It's not *moan* what you think *oh baby* it is honey, *oh yeah right there* nothing's going on!"

"What do you mean nothing's going on?!" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air in frustration, "You're getting banged by your lesbian friends!"

"Hey now, we're straight! Just open minded," objected Kathy.

"Shut *oooo* up," Amy told her, and then turned back to Rob, still moaning in between words, "Come on now honey, *OH GOD*, are you going to believe your eyes *YES* or what I'm telling you? *Harder!* You have to trust me honey."

Somewhat conflicted and confused by his wife's logic, Rob turned around and left the house, pulling out his phone and dialing his boys as he did so. Obviously he was going to need some kind of man support.

*************************

"I don't understand," said Mark as the men talked over beer, "She was doing it with two other girls and you didn't want to join in?"

"Well, just cuz she's cheating doesn't mean I should," said Rob, "And besides, Rule #1 AND #2 apply."

"Rule #1 and #2?" asked George.

"Rule #1, you don't sleep with your buddy's woman (that would be Kathy since she's with James)" said Rob, "And Rule #2 you don't sleep with your buddy's ex." And he nodded towards Jack's. (Referring to Jack's recently ended relationship with Jan.)

"Oh right... right...." said George.

Jack just shook his head, "I always hated Mondays."

"Maybe we should call a girl to ask for advice," suggest Mark, "Here, I'll give Michelle a ring."

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Michelle's number, "Hey hun it's Mark... yeah got a question for you..." Mark frowned, hearing some suspicious moans in the background. Pulling the phone away from his mouth he whispered to his friends, "I hear moaning... you don't think she's over there now too do you?"

Rob grabbed the phone from Mark's hand, "Michelle what are you doing?!"

"Your mom," she replied as the moans got louder. Rob frowned.

"My mom's dead," he said.

"Rob?" Michelle asked, "Oh, I thought I was still talking to Mark."

Mark grabbed the phone back, "You're doing my MOM?!"

"Yeah," said Michelle, "Mmmm.. yeah... good.... good..."

There was a thud and a muffled scream.

"What was that?!" cried out the traumatized Mark.

"Oh, I punched her," explained Michelle, "So she clenches."

Mark hung up the phone and Jack carefully took it away from him and patted his back as he sat there shaking.

"What is WRONG with these girls?" asked George.

"I dunno," said Rob glumly, "Know where Nadine is?"

"Soccer practice," he said, "Besides, she's not sick like the others."

All of them sat there thinking and drinking long and hard.

*************************

A few hours later, Amy, Jan, Kathy, Audrey, Michelle and Nadine came walking into the room.

"What the FUCK?!" yelled Nadine, staring.

All the boys looked up in a drunken haze from their sexual positions.

The girls jaws all dropped as the boys scrambled to their feet, it took the guys a minute in their drunken stupor to realize that all of the girls were staring point blank at Mark's crotch, now that it was out of Jack's mouth and visible.

"Damn." said Audrey, "That AIN't no Jewish boy!"

All the girls burst into hysterical laughter as the boys scrambled into their clothes.

"Told you Jack had a boy-crush on George," Jan snickered as she elbowed Kathy in the ribs.

"I didn't disagree with you!" said Kathy.

Amy shook her head as she went over to Rob, "Really honey, don't you think that's a little far to go for revenge?"

"What?" he said, blinking at her.

The girls all realized that the guys were so completely trashed that they would probably remember nothing of what they were doing.

"We should take a picture of this," said Audrey, "For blackmail. Or memories. Or something."

"I'm not sure I want to remember this," said Michelle.

They took pictures anyway of course, convincing the boys back out of their clothes and into their original positions. Afterwards the boys would always wonder what happened on Girls Nights... they never remembered the picture that had been taken, although the girls got much amusement out of it for months afterwards.

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