All Comments on 'Surprise'

It was almost a tone poem. Unusual, and most effective.

Will there be a follow-up? Will we hear what happens to the couple? I hope so!

ohio

anyone even wanting any more of this story!

i bet she was happy she got her revenge for the husband getting Rosy to do a lap dance on him! as well as keeping secret he was working for a lawyer corp! what shame, naughty naughty!

of course her doing her 100s/1000s of lap dances, table dances, stripping on stage, and 'who knoes what' for other men was ok, from her POV. right.

well written though.

Chapter 2 is a loving wives as the busband discovers taht her volunteer work includes serving patrons after she gets off of the walkway.

Maybe he should just take her home naked and leave her naked on the front door step while he takes a refreshing nap. She wants to be naked in front of men and excite lust let her do it at home. She already have a town rep that will be spreading.

I liked it. Interesting dynamic with the difference in character types... him a lawyer type and her a reserved goth girl. The underlying concept has been done a million times but it's a rite of passage here and Bella pulls it off nicely.

The story *feels* like a beginning. I'm hoping we see these characters work it out to their mutual sexual satisfaction (and keep the rest of the relationship healthy as well), but whatever happens, I have a feeling Bella will make it an interesting ride.

I liked it up to the part where she was jealous of her husband lap dance. Lets face reality she is in a strip bar giving away her body. But I still thought it was well writen.

Ont. Can

we got the first few paragraphs of what could be a good story.

But, as presented here, with no indication of a continuation, what was the point?

this is very well written, full of restrained sexuality and stopping sshort of dripping cunt, hard rock cock fucking. i think that is yet to come and if you write it as well as you did this, its going to be a classic.

Let me get this right she pulls her shift, all eight or so hours at night, while he works in his office every night for eight hours? Do I have this right?

He has no real idea where she goes, all these nights, for eight hours coming home how, in the morning. And this has gone on long enough for her to be a regular with a well established routine at the club.

Hopefully with him a hard working lawyer doing up to 16 hours a day she is very well off and doesnt need the money. She was just bored staying at home and wanted my drama in her life. She needed to mix in the sexual world of prostitution and drugs so she would be a better wife.

Of course she never does lap dances, table dances, private parties in the back rooms or sofa dances. She works in an all nude club of course since that lets her exhibitionist side shine. And since no one in the city had ever known he was married much less met her at social functions she was sure there would never be any repercussions.

So the HIV infections and complications for STD that she and her husband suffer thru and her drug use after he loses his job and divorces her are well worth her attempts for recognition as a sexual human being. Another person who has reached self fulfilment and worth as a well rounded human being.

Silly language

could be interesting but there is a huge vast plot hole... that is sooooo fucking seadly to the story...

the shy wife is out every night for several hours and the husband does even bother to ask or notice?

Once ina while or girls night out once a week here the shy wife strios -- THATS believable.

But as it stands now this story is over .... you see no matter any author takes this idea and runs with it THAT huge hole Kills it...

More of a vignette than a story. A few logistic improbabilities as some pointed out, but that doesn't really detract from the word picture you've drawn.

No point in fleshing it out to be a story. It might actually ruin it. I'd leave it stand and write something else. You are definitely on to something interesting.

...what you ask for! In this case actions are asking for it. He obviously enjoys entertaining and going to strip joints with the boys and...who knows - what else.

She gets off on public nudity, being touched, mauled and felt up by various guys and maybe even girls so...neither one has sat down and said - hey, we need to talk, he does his thing and she sticks hers in his face.

The question is...is he going to be a wimp, have an open marriage, is she really into this and going to keep it up (probably already has fucked in private) or do they yell, acuse, go swinging and cheating or divorce...they Do Not have a marriage!!!

Chapter two? By the way - you write well!

we need more. if that was my wife, I would be drooling like a fool can't wait to get her home to worship her body.

What the fuck was that?

This is just so hot. It's very efficient and just moves perfectly. Just beautiful.

I'd like to be the fly on the wall listening to their 'explanations' once they get home! For him to get a lap dance might be considered a form of cheating, but her allowing a stranger to actually touch her twat might be somehow worse!!

Nice story MistressBella! Please continue writing!

I'd like to know how they discussed this at home! He might have been there that one time, but she works there where she dances nude in front of strangers and allowed at least one to touch her pussy!

Meh

Divorce time! BTB

And what is motivating them? This didn't work as a flash story.

But this was just a beginning. Where's the rest of the story? Will her husband be there for her next set? Or has he gone home to pack his things? Or has he already packed his things and just dropped by to let his lying slut wife know that he knows about her evening activities? Badly done and unfinished to boot.

1 star

And then the husband shoved a fistful of divorce papers in her g-string.

Was this supposed to be a story? It was barely an introductory paragraph. And it really didn't introduce anything.