All Comments on 'Tali Ch. 02'

The original chapter was wonderful. You should not be concerned about the quality of your earlier writing. It is amazing for one so young. The story was wonderfully told from the perspective of Tali who has been emotionally stunted/altered/shaped by the years of slavery. You captured that very well. You are capturing her current inner conflict painfully well. Her master is demonstrating human weakness in his inability to communicate to Tali the changes taking place. Leaving out the pillow for some one you've trained against comforts for years? and no explaination? He doesn't know how to 'untrain' her.

Please continue this complex story.

I love this story!...

MORE Please!

You have nothing to worry about regarding the quality and/or genuineness of your writing. Both Tali and Miro are very well written. Each is conflicted and trying hard to find their way. I cannot wait to read more as they grow.

Brava!

and intriguing journey into the mind's of these characters. The psychological journey of each character is fascinating. Written with care and honesty. Another 5 from me...take care