by Acktion
... errors, but a good story.
Some proof reading would have tidied everything up.
WAIT for more. Excellent characters, the best action I've read in a while, vivid detail...oh yes, yes -- more, more and soon please...Thanks -- take care and be well...hcl
From the realistic casual scene at the bar, to the nonchalant insertion of backstory; from the fighting to the laughter to her incredible orgasm, the bickering, the goading escalation, the colorful prose, the pacing, the dialogue ...
Really, well done. Frankly, I wouldn't care if there wasn't a part two. It is complete as is, we all know what their relationship can become.
Of course, if you write another part, I will read it.
Thanks for posting
I thank you each for your kind support. I'm afraid, Anonymous, that I missed those errors you mentioned because Jet and Logan kept whispering in my ear "that wasn't how it happened" during each proofread and I couldn't not tinker with what they said was different. Even during the final proofing before hitting submit. And for those, I beg your pardon.
So, in answer to Remain_in_Shadow's comment that we all know what their relationship will be... you are smarter than I since I don't. *wink*
I do know there will be another chapter soon, at least if I can get the other people whispering their stories out of my head and off my screen so I can hear what Jet and Logan say. But, I do not know where it will go as they have not told it to me in full.
While I enjoyed ch.1 I wouldn't mind at all seeing a ch.2 come out. I
You write well with minimum errors. I love bdsm stories so am curious to see where you would've taken it.
You can certainly feel the dynamic between them .
Love the fact that she is almost forcing him to rape her.
Some repetitions, a bit sequential - but what an unusual and creative plot idea. Enjoyed reading, greatly. Thank You.