That Damn Red Dress

"You coming to bed?"

"In a little while."

"Well don't be too long." He grinned. "Or take your time, and you can wake me up the way you love to."

"Hmm, sounds like fun." I did the best I could to sound sexy. "But you have to be asleep for me to do that."

"Okay." Dad swayed slightly as he made his way around the bed. When he stretched out, I pulled the covers up to his chest.

"Sweet dreams." I told him.

"What, no kiss?"

I looked down at him, and taking a deep breath, leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Well, tried to anyway. Dad caught me around my waist and pulled me down to him so I was bent over the bed, my chest pressed to his. I felt a moment of panic when he pressed his lips hard to mine, but instead of pulling away, I not only endured the kiss, but returned it as much as I could allow myself to. His hand slid down my back and squeezed my ass.

"You do have the cutest little ass," he said, his face inches from mine. "Sure you don't want to come to bed. I'll rub your back and earn my goodnight kiss."

Ugh! Nevertheless, I remained calm and said, "I have to help Nikki with something then shower. I'll come to bed soon."

"Fine." He kissed me again, and when his tongue slipped against my lips, it was more than I could handle. I jerked my head from him.

He narrowed his eyes, and I thought I'd blown it, but with a grin, he gave my ass a slap that caused me to yelp in surprise. He said, "Tease." He slipped his arm from me. "I'll take care of you later."

He gave me a gentle smile, and the adoring look on his face as he thought he was staring at his departed wife caused my throat to tighten.

"Good night, beautiful."

"Goodnight, baby." I gave his hand a squeeze as mom always did if we were all watching TV and she went to bed before he did.

I walked over and drew the blinds down. It was hard to believe it was only five o'clock. It was still light out, and although I doubted I would be lucky enough for him to sleep through the night, I would keep the room dark, just in case. I made my way around the bed and was thrilled to see dad's eyes were shut and he was breathing deeply. I was excited as well. This little experiment told me I might be able to do what Uncle wanted, but by myself, without some paid professional treating my father like he was some piece of meat.

I was opening the door, when dad called, "Tell Nikki I said, goodnight, and I love her."

"I will, honey." I fought for control and added, "She loves you too."

*****

I opened my eyes at the sound of my alarm going off. Rolling over, I hit snooze and lying on my back, stretched before settling back onto the bed with a contented sigh. It was eight A.M. Dad had slept through the night, and so had I.

Last night was easily the best night's sleep I'd had in weeks. After I left dad sleeping I'd heated up some left over pork chops and watched TV. Dad didn't sleep straight through, he stumbled out of his room around nine and sat at the table, listlessly eating the grilled cheese sandwich and bowl of soup I'd made for him.

He seemed as if he had sobered somewhat, but was withdrawn. I tried to make small talk, but he pretty much just grunted. That was until out of the blue he said, "I had a dream about your mom."

I'd asked what it was about and he shrugged, "I...not much. I remember her standing over me telling me goodnight." He went silent then continued, "I'd give anything to hear that one more time for real."

I didn't push him about it, but felt even more confidence that I could help him. I would just have to figure out the right way to do it. After a few more minutes of one-sided conversation, dad got up and after taking a shower, went back to bed and stayed there for the night. I'd stayed up until eleven and after listening at his door and hearing nothing but his snoring, I'd gone to bed and went out like a light.

The only downside of last night was Josh hadn't called when he said he was going to. I thought about trying him, but didn't want to look pathetic. I didn't need any help with that these days. As if my thought had summoned him my phone began to ring and seeing his picture pop up on the screen I answered, "Hey, I..."

"I'm sorry I didn't call last night." He blurted out right away. "I forgot my phone at Ron's house and had to go over my mother's and..."

"It's okay," I told him, "but I'm glad you called."

"Glad you answered." He sighed heavily into the phone. "Listen Nicole, I was a total asshole."

"Yes," I said.

"I was selfish and...I guess just frustrated. I feel bad for you and your father, but there's nothing I can do."

"Me either, but..."

"But I was wrong. What I can do is never do what I did last night. You need me Nicole and I made things worse. I promise I won't do it again."

"I understand Josh. Trust me he's my dad, and I want to smack him." I did, as a matter of fact, just last night when he tried to feel me up.

"Yeah well, I...look I told you what my dad was like, and I thought about it the other night. I never tried to help my father. I just thought he was a useless prick and let him just do what he wanted and forgot about him."

"You were young, and he was never really good to you." I pointed out.

"No excuse. I could have tried. On the rare occasions he came to see me and was sober, he tried, and I didn't want to hear it. Maybe there was nothing I could do, but I should have tried. I should have done what you do and just tried to show I still cared."

"Josh, don't do that. My father raised me. Yours..."

"My point is you're a hell of person with a big heart, and you put me to shame. I don't deserve you."

"That's a little dramatic," I laughed, "but I like it."

"But even though I don't, I still hope you want me around."

"Of course I do!"

"Good, because I meant it what I said, I love you, Nicole."

"Love you too Josh!" I smiled against the phone. A good night and a good morning.

"And from now on, you just do what you have to until your dad gets better."

"I think that might be soon." I said hopefully.

"Great, but if not, I'll be beside you no matter what. Because Nicole, you are worth the wait."

"Aww, that's sweet!"

"And your dad has to get better because you never know, I might have to ask him a big question some day."

"Question?"

"I'm an old fashioned guy," he declared. "And he needs to be here for me to ask for his daughter's hand some day."

I laughed into the phone. "Let's not get carried away. Besides it's not my hand that you want."

"Not true, that time in the movie theater you..."

"Hey stop that, I was reaching for the popcorn."

"Sure you were. Nicole, I mean it, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll let you make it up to me."

"What are you doing after work today?"

"Hey, my uncle and aunt are spending it with dad because it was mom and dad's anniversary, and Uncle said he would keep him busy for a while tonight in case I wanted to go out."

"Great, restaurants will be crazy, but maybe we can..."

"How about I come over, and we figure out where we left off last night?"

"I...like how you think! How about I grab you at work, you can come back here and shower."

"Sounds good." I looked at the clock. "Speaking of work, I have to get moving."

"No problem." He paused. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said, and as I hung up nodded in satisfaction. Things would start to be okay. I could feel it now.

Getting out of bed, I tossed on my robe and headed for the bathroom. I stopped near dad's door and listened. There was no sound, and it dawned on me that since he got home last night he must have slept over fourteen hours. I knocked softly, "Hey, dad, you up?"

I received no answer and knocked louder. When there was still nothing, I felt a chill run down my spine.

"Relax." I said aloud. "He's fine, he's always fine."

I opened the bedroom door and saw dad lying on his side, facing me. He had that damn red dress pulled against him like it was a woman, but what caused my heart to freeze was the small, empty pint bottle on the bed next to him and worse, the pill bottle in his hand.

"Dad!" I yelled, running over to the bed, my mind racing.

He still didn't stir, but as I reached the bed, I could see his chest moving as he breathed. My body flooded with relief, and I snatched up the pill bottle and looked at the label. If this wasn't so scary I would have laughed. Dad had grabbed the bottle of prescription antacids that mom had to take for her acid reflux.

"Well, at least you won't get heartburn." I muttered and tossed the bottle into the wastepaper basket.

I picked up the bottle and sniffing, it winced at the powerful smell of whiskey. I tossed that away as well and sitting on the edge of the bed, watched my father lie there with the dress. He was holding it like it was mom. His arm around the middle and his face buried in it as if it was mom's hair. I had a flashback of being a young girl and running into their bedroom on Saturday mornings to wake dad up to watch cartoons with me.

They were always like this. Mom's slender form spooned into his large body. His arm around her waist, just under her breasts and her hand was always over his. Dad's face would be buried in her hair and...

My father had just tried to kill himself.

The thought struck me like a blow, and I realized I was kneeling on the floor. I didn't remember moving. Dad had only failed because Uncle had thrown out anything in the medicine cabinet that he could have done it with. What if he tried again? What if next time he brought something home to do it with? Or next time, not be so drunk and find something in the house to hurt himself?

I closed my eyes and fought to control my breathing. I had to do something. This was it; dad was at the end of the rope. Uncle would have him in his sight all day today, but what about tonight? Or tomorrow? I put my hands on the bed and pushed myself to my feet. I had to get it together. I couldn't miss work today, but afterwards I wouldn't go with Josh. I would have to come home and be ready for whatever the hell was next.

Looking down at dad I wanted to grab that damn red dress and burn the fucking thing. I narrowed my eyes while looking at dad's face nuzzled in it. I had fooled him last night on the fly with no preparation. He already thought I was mom half the time most likely because he wanted to. And what did he really want? To see mom in that fucking dress and to have their night, to say I'm sorry, I love you and goodbye.

I heard Josh's voice telling me to do anything I had to. I backed away from the bed, turned around, and went back into my room. Grabbing my phone, I called Uncle. "Hey, kiddo." He answered, "I know you have to be in work for ten we'll be there by nine thirty."

"I'll try to have him at least up by then." I said, "But Uncle Ron, I need..."

"Rough night last night?"

"The worst so far." I quickly told him what happened.

"Nicole, I'm going to keep him at our house tonight and..."

"No," I said softly. "You need to bring him home tonight and...you need to take him to a bar and let him drink."

"What?"

"I'm going to compromise with you, Uncle. I think you're right about getting someone to be mom to forgive him."

"Forgive?"

"They had a fight that morning. It was a stupid one, but..."

"No, that explains it all," he said. "Misplaced guilt. So you want me to see if I can get that woman to..."

"No, it's going to be me."

"Nicole, are you..."

"He always thinks I'm her, and I know what to say to him now. I can do it."

"Nicole, it's not safe for you to..."

"Uncle, trust me. He believes I am her because I am her. I'm part of her. He senses that; it's not just that I look like her. He won't be fooled by someone else."

"I...okay, but I'll be there in another room in case."

"No. I need to be alone with him."

"Nicole, listen we talked about this yesterday. He's going to look for more than goodbye, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, and I'll handle it."

"I don't want you alone with him. You get him thinking like that he...he could hurt you."

"He'll never hurt me." I told him, and I meant it.

"You can't be sure of that."

"Yes, I can. Please, just trust me. Please? If it doesn't work, we'll do it your way with a surrogate, but I want to be the one, if I can."

"I...if something happens to you, Nicole, I won't be able to..."

"Please let me do this for my father and my mother and...and you Uncle. Let me put this to rest."

He sighed heavily. "I'll have him there by seven. One word of advice, keep the conversation out of the bedroom, that might be a way to keep him from thinking about more than just conversation.You better call me and let me know what happened."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you in an hour to pick him up."

I hung up, and sitting on the bed, looked at the picture of mom and me from my high school graduation. Do what you have to and do it with love. My father wasn't going to hurt me because I was going to do anything I had to for him to be himself again. Even that if it came down to it.

If I had to, I would give him my body to heal his heart. He would never know. I would, but I would know I did it for the right reasons. If it worked, I could live with it. If it didn't, things couldn't get much worse.

"I'm sorry, mom," I whispered, looking at her smiling at me in the picture. "But I'll be doing it for him and with love." Lowering my eyes, I finished, "Please don't be mad at me."

*****

Exiting the shower, I looked at the clock and saw it was six thirty. Uncle had texted me to say they were at a sports bar, and dad was feeling pretty good. He would have him home at seven. After drying off, I blow-dried my hair, something I normally never did, but mom would tease her straight hair out for dad when they went out. The dryer would accomplish that to a degree. When I was done, I went into their bedroom where I'd already lit several candles around the room and went over to mom's bureau.

Everything was as it was when she died, except for a couple of things that had broken when dad threw the bottle at it. I put on mom's favorite shade of red lipstick and added some eyeliner and just a little blush to add some color to my fair cheeks. I looked for her Coco Chanel perfume, but frowned when I remembered the bottle had been one of the causalities. There were only two other options, and I went with Eternity. I sprayed a little on my neck then between my bare breasts.

I hesitated, recalling mom telling me where else she would use perfume. She would spray a little on the insides of her thighs, telling me with a wink, "Hey, you never know."

Telling myself I wouldn't need to, but just in case, I sprayed my inner thighs. I looked at my face and nodded, the makeup added even more to our already amazing resemblance. I took in my small breasts and worked my way down my freshly shaved pussy. Another detail mom had shared with me when I was old enough to talk about sex was her preference down there.

"It won't come to that," I told my reflection, but didn't sound too convincing.

Turning to the bed I slipped on the red lace bra and matching thong I'd picked up on the way home. I'd debated asking Josh to drop off the outfit I'd left at his house when I stormed out, but wearing that for him and possibly my father was a creepy thought even amongst the other creepy thoughts that were trying to overrun my mind.

On that note, I turned my gaze to the creepiest part of the night; that damn red dress. I had dropped it off at the cleaners on the way to work and paid extra to have it done for when I came home. I picked it up as if it were something that was going to bite me and taking it off the hangar, slipped down over my head.

When I turned and looked in the mirror I rolled my eyes. There were no straps, just a tie around the neck. I looked down and realized the front of the dress had cups built into it. Slipping my bra off, I muttered, "Can't dress me up and take me anywhere."

Tossing the bra to the side, I tied the dress behind my neck and turned so I could look over my shoulder. The dress left my entire back open, leaving me wondering if mom had planned to freeze all night last year. Then again it was worn more for later I was sure. I was able to reach back and zip the dress up over the top of my ass and noticed how snug it fit even on my slender frame.

My ass was well defined and standing sideways, I trailed my eyes up the long slit that exposed me leg well above my mid thigh. Even my small breasts were propped up by the built in bra to the point I had more cleavage than I'd had in anything else I'd ever worn. On one hand the dress was stunning. But on the other it was a fuck me dress if I ever saw one. Mom was a confident woman to be wearing it in her forties, but she did have the body for it.

Sitting on the bed, I slipped on the red stiletto heels mom had bought with the dress. They buckled around the ankles and if I thought the dress screamed fuck me, these shoes were definitely meant to stay on after the dress came off. Taking in the finished product in the old round mirror I had sat on the bureau to replace the one dad broke, I began rethinking my approach.

I figured the dress was where dad was focusing his pain and it would overwhelm him and guarantee he would want to believe I was mom with all of his heart. But Uncle's words kept coming back to me about intimacy, and I knew if I wore this in front of Josh I would be lucky not to get outright attacked. Fortunately when I called and cancelled on him for tonight he had been as understanding as he promised he would be. If this all worked out I would hopefully be able to make it up to him and soon.

Thinking of Josh caused me to reach up and touch the ruby hearts he had given me. I should take them out and find a pair of mom's, but wearing them gave me a sense of comfort. Just as the dress was part of mom, whether I liked it or not, the earrings represented the life I hoped I could have soon.

My phone beeped on the bureau, and picking it up, I read the text from Uncle.

"We're outside the house. I am going to walk him to the door and make sure he goes in. Text me if anything happens!"

I replied, "Don't come in it will ruin the set up. I promise I'll call you later."

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. It was time to save my father from himself, no matter what it took. I went down the hallway and watched from an angle as the front door opened. Dad walked unsteadily into the living room, and I caught a brief glimpse of Uncle behind him before he closed the door.

Dad stood over near the couch and was looking around. He was dressed in a button down white shirt and jeans and I noticed he had shaved and his hair was brushed. With the exception of when he went to work it was the best he had looked in a long time.

"Nikki?" He called out, "You home?"

He sounded clearer than I had hoped he would. Things were pretty bad when you wanted your father to be drunk. I felt a twinge of nerves and considered slipping back into my room and changing. I gathered my resolve and peeking just my head around the corner said, "Nikki's not home, baby, she's out with friends."

Dad stiffened and slowly turned to look at me.

"Laura?"

"Well, who else would be here waiting for you?" I gave him a sly smile. "We have the house to ourselves, Jim. How about you come into the bedroom and show me how much you love your Valentine?"

Dad looked confused and my heart skipped a beat. But a moment later a smile spread across his face. "You rather stay home than go out?"

"Oh, yeah." I told him, "But I did dress up for you. Come see!"

I ducked back into the hallway and moving as fast as the heels would let me, I got into the room before he could see me. I went and stood in front of the bed and awaited the moment of truth. Dad entered the room and when his gaze fell on me he whispered, "Oh, Laura, look at you. You're beautiful!"