That Damn Red Dress

"I told you I have no idea when it fell out." I waved my hand at him. "Now knock it off we're not supposed to fight until we're married."

"Oh, then let's talk a few years down the...ow." He laughed when I punched his arm.

"I'm going to tell you this right now." I pointed at him. "First rule is when we're married we never go to bed mad, okay?"

He turned serious and taking my hand said, "Never and we'll never walk away mad either. I never want you to think I don't love you."

"I like that," I said.

"Speaking of..." Josh began. "What a difference a year makes. Your dad's night and day from last Valentine's."

"Thank god." I nodded.

"Turned around quick, too," he continued. "He went into that rehab right after Valentine's, and he's been fine since." He shrugged. "Said he got it together because he dreamt of your mother."

"Yeah." I said, looking away from him. "That's something, huh?"

"Must have been one hell of a realistic dream."

"Oh it was." I said softly, trying not to recall the things we'd done that night.

"So, you meet this woman yet?"

"No! Between work school and my needy...fiancé" I winked. "I keep missing her."

"So...is that perhaps why you want to try to catch him?"

"Do you mind?"

"Nicole, from here we're going to dinner then heading up to the Cape for the weekend. I'm fine with waiting a little while." He laughed. "Besides, I'm nosy too!"

As if that had summoned him, I heard a car door in the driveway.

"Perfect timing," Josh said.

"Yup." I looked at the ring.

Josh said, "So, he knows I had the ring, but I didn't say when so maybe when he comes in you..."

"Daddy!" I cried out as soon as my father walked in. "Daddy look!"

I ran across the room, and throwing myself into his arms held my hand up. "Look what Josh gave me!"

"Or you could just do that," I heard Josh say behind me.

"That's beautiful," Dad said, smiling ear to ear. "Just like my little girl."

"Aww." I kissed his cheek. "You're so sweet, even if you have to say that."

"I doubt your dad says anything he doesn't have to," a voice said from next to me.

I'd been so caught up with the ring, I'd completely ignored the tall, blonde woman standing in the doorway.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed.

"It's okay," she smiled. "A girl only gets engaged once." He paused then shrugged, "Well maybe twice, if she's lucky."

"Whoa, little early for that," Dad said laughing.

"Who said I meant us?" She cocked her head. "I didn't say that; were you thinking that?"

"Well..." Dad looked away nervously.

"Just kidding!" she laughed then extended her hand. "I'm Sandra, and I know you are the beautiful Nicole."

"Well maybe to Dad. To everyone else Nicole."

"Nah, I think you're kinda okay," Josh said, shaking Sandra's hand too. "I'm Josh, the soon-to-be-abused son-in-law."

"With that mouth, probably." Dad laughed and whacked him on the arm hard enough to stagger him. "Speaking of," Dad said, "I want to talk to you for a minute."

"Uh-oh," Josh said, but walked over to the other side of the room with Dad.

"You really are beautiful, Nicole." Sandra said and pointing to the pictures on the mantle added, "Just like your mother. Your dad sees her every time he sees you."

"Oh, well..." I shrugged awkwardly.

"It's okay honey." She said putting her hand on my arm. "I don't know how much your father has told you, but I was married and lost my husband four years ago. Cancer."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Thing is I have a son two years older than you, and he could be my husband's twin. Not a day goes by that I don't see him and see his father. But it's not a sad thing anymore; it's a good thing because I'd never want to forget him."

"That's a good way to see it."

"And please don't worry about me. I am not here to take anyone's place. The past will always be the past. I'm here in the present and hopefully the future. Your dad's a wonderful man."

"He is."

"Nicole?" I turned to see dad beckoning me. "Your turn, I need you for a couple of minutes."

"Nice meeting you." I told Sandra.

"Oh, you'll be seeing a lot of me, I hope. And congratulations. You have a good looking young man there, and your father says he's very good to you."

"He is. Thank you."

I walked past Josh, who sat on the couch, and followed my father into his bedroom.

"What did you say to Josh?"

"Not much, I told him what highway not to take because of traffic." He shrugged. "I wanted to give you a couple of minutes alone with Sandra."

"She seems really nice," I told him. "And pretty." I winked. "Not bad for an old dog like you."

"Nicole." Dad had turned serious. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it dad?"

"Well, truthfully we should have talked awhile ago, but as you'll soon see, sooner might not have been better."

"I don't understand."

"There is something I've needed to discuss with you, but I kept putting it off. But with Josh proposing and you graduating and Sandra coming into my life, I feel this is a turning point for both of us and its all good stuff from here on in."

"I hope so." I said nervously.

"So, the way I see it is with the future looking so different, it's time to get this over with so I can completely move on."

"Move on from what?" I was confused. "Is it about mom?"

"It is." He swallowed and asked, "Nicole, remember I told you I had a dream of your mom?"

"Yes."

"I told you it was vivid, like a vision, or like somehow she was really there."

"I...I remember." I could feel my heart beginning to pound.

"Well, she wasn't of course. Well no, in a way she was. Your mother or at least part of her was with me."

"What do you mean?"

Putting his hand on my shoulder, he said softly, "She was there in you. Nicole, I know that was you that night."

"W....what?" I widened my eyes. "D...Dad that's crazy! Think about what you just said!"

"Oh, trust me I have," He sighed. "But it was you, Nikki. You...you posed as your mother."

"No." I shook my head. "Dad you..."

I stopped when he held out his hand. In it was the ruby heart earring I had lost.

"Found this in my bed the day after the dream."

"I...I might have lost it making the bed. I might..."

"And although you cleaned things up, the bed smelled like perfume." He pointed at Mom's bureau. "And see if it was a dream, mom would have been wearing Coco Chanel my favorite. The pillow smelled like Eternity, which I hate. Someone gave it to her, and she only used it once."

"N...no...Dad, I..."

"And..." he looked away, "Let's say there was a, um, other smell, and not just on the bed."

Dad looked back at me, and I became overwhelmed, my eyes filled up and I sobbed, "Daddy I'm so sorry! I...I didn't know what else to do! I...I didn't do it because I...I wanted too I..."

"Shhh!" Dad pulled me into his arms and held me close to him."It's okay, Nikki. It's okay. I'm not mad, and I...well, now you see why I waited a long time."

"Dad, please don't hate me or think I'm sick or..."

"Listen." Taking me by the shoulders, he eased me away from him so he could look at me. "Here's the deal, we are not going to talk about what we did that night. I don't want to think about what you felt you had to do and what..." He lowered his head. "What I did to my daughter."

"It wasn't your fault dad." I told him.

"Yes, it was. I was a drunken mess, and I was destroying my life and yours. But we'll leave that as well. What I want to talk about is why you did it."

"I did it because..."

"You love me." He squeezed my shoulders. "You loved me so much that you...you crossed one hell of line to save me. You were so desperate that you did what most people would have never even thought of.All so I would be okay. Nikki, that was an act of love, not lust."

"Do what you have to and..."

"Do it with love." Dad smiled. "Not sure mom had that in mind when she used to say that, but it is true, and it's what you did."

"I hoped you never knew." I wiped at my eyes.

"Honey, that dream that wasn't a dream wasn't going to be enough. I woke up more miserable than before, more heartbroken. Then I found the earring and put it together. I was even more upset! My god to think I...to think I had sex with my own daughter! That you were so worried you would give yourself to me like that, and..." It was his turn to wipe at his eyes.

"For me to be so fucked up I would take it." He shook his head. "Honey, you can't get lower than that, and if I hurt myself after that it would have broken your heart and made your sacrifice worthless. So I got mad instead of depressed, and I went and talked to your uncle. He got me into the rehab. I vowed and still vow that you didn't do that for nothing."

"Now you're happy with Josh, and I found someone, and it's all because of how much you love me, love us." He hugged me close again. "I love you, Nikki."

"I love you, Daddy."

"Now, I never want to talk about this again, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded.

"But I do want to say one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Something I never thought I would say again a year ago." Giving me a kiss on the cheek, he said, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

*

Author's Note: Well, if you're reading this, you made it to the end and hopefully enjoyed it. Before I go any further, a big thank you to author Patientlee for her help. Be sure to check out her contest entry Mrs. Maitland's SAD Valentine. Now about this story. When I conceived the idea of That Damn Red Dress, I wanted to write a taboo story that would be realistic. Something different from the typical lusty dad and sex -crazed daughter going at it (although I have written a couple of those). Instead I wanted to create a scenario where the sex was not an act of lust, but of desperation. To achieve that, Nicole needed to at times be upset and borderline disgusted with what she was doing, and if that was disturbing to some, well, I suppose in a way that was my intent. But, as I said throughout my SWB series, my stories are my babies, and they are done my way according to the vision I was given to write it. Now...believe it or not, that was a Valentine's Day story and a contest entry. So love it or hate it, please take a moment to vote. Then take much more than a moment to find your special someone and tell them you love them. And take heed of the message in this story. Never part ways when you're angry. Thank you for reading. Lovecraft68