All Comments on 'The Birthday Present'

by toffeepopnz

Sort by:
  • 3 Comments
visioneervisioneerabout 12 years ago
Nice story

I like the subtle uncertainty in Danielle's and Karen's reaction to their plot and the fact that they discuss what they are going to do during the sex. This gives the scene an authentic feel. You could add depth to your characters by showing more of their emotions. Nicely done and please keep writing.

mBrowmBrowabout 12 years ago
Very nice!

Well written and quite enjoyable. Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Really?

Your fantasy story includes condoms and pot roast?

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous